You don't give to receive but...

bluenoseam

Me, the parental unit & younger sister were discussing this earlier - mainly surrounding older sister & what she'd bought us.... To put it into perspective, younger sister will rarely say anything negative about older sister, but even she passed comment!

She bought Mum slippers that were not her size (she takes a 4, slippers were 5-6) & a bottle of wine (she doesn't drink). She bought younger sister a bottle of bucks fizz (she's 23...) & bought me a Lynx haircare set (I'm thinning on top and haven't used gel in my hair for years). Basically she's went round the seasonal aisle of Asda & grabbed whatever, which wouldn't be so bad if she'd not had time, but younger sister babysat her kids TWICE while she went out "christmas shopping".

Personally I asked older sister what she wanted (and promptly bought said item) and got BiL a CD he'd like (to the point whereby his wife was going to buy it before asking me what I'd bought him). No drama, no fuss & something they'd both like & use!

balletshoes

moreofthegoodstuff wrote: »

As a family we don't go mad when buying presents for each other, £10-£15 each and a little bit of thought into the present in order to make it a nice Christmas.

Every year we get something nice for my husbands brothers and their partners. This year for example we got them a set from Joules and from the Body Shop (and got no thanks!). Nothing fancy but something they would like. In return they bought us a thermometer. They coloured in the price (£2.99) and there was a sticker left on the bottom saying £10. This is of no use to us and to be honest - just totally rude...If you are going to colour in the price you don't leave one saying £10. It's not about the money, if they can only afford £3 then so be it but a bit of thought would have been nice and don't pretend it's more because you shouldn't leave prices on!

Last year his other brother got us a bright yellow glove/scarf set from Poundland and it was horrible and obviously not our style nor theirs!! I always say to my husband I don't know why we bother, we should Poundland their presents and get them any old junk that we can find but he always defends them. :mad:

I know I'll probably be hounded with loads of ''you should be grateful for whatever you get'' comments but I'm not being funny, a box of £3 chocolates would be more thoughtful than a thermometer or not bother at all.

Anyone else have experience of this? I just get so fed up of working so hard to give them something nice and feel that their gifts to us is a running joke to them all.

this is really simple to sort out as you are all adults - tell them now that you think its the right time to stop pressies to adult siblings and their partners. Saves all this hassle.

alwaysbrassic

In our family my mother in law buys for her husbands nieces and their children and my father in laws family buy for our children, with a budget of £15.
Reality is my MIL spends months looking for the perfect present, I.e next clothes (with gift receipt), games they want etc. my children receive a £3 primark hot water bottle ( I would never send a toddler to bed with a hot water bottle!)
I've tried to tell her not to stress so much this year. You don't give to receive but there is no point tying yourself in knots over giving either!

Aimless

My family all exchange relatively small value gifts, maybe £5-15 for an adult, more for the children of course. We tend to ask each other what sort of thing we want so we know it is useful. The in laws on the other half spend an absolute fortune on stuff that'll never get used. This year's gems were a scarf to add to the one I was given the previous year, despite having one already that I love and am never seen without, and a household item labelled to me and my other half... but we live in separate houses! The sad thing was, amongst all the expensive department store stuff, the baby didn't get a single toy to actually play with.

DUKE

I wouldn't bother getting them anything as I feel that year after year we all exchange crap - why? If you do want to exchange gifts, do go to pounland or wherever & get something hideous, have a good laugh about it, then take it to the charity shop after. Less stress & a few laughs all round.

couponqueen123

Goldiegirl wrote: »

I do understand what you mean

My husband has a long standing friend, and him and his wife have always been the ones who are keen to carry on the present giving tradition. My DH and I don't exchange presents with other friends, just this couple.

Over the last few years the presents we receive have been getting odder and odder. Last year I was given something that was originally a present to the wife, it still had a gift tag addressed to her in the box!

This year I got a t shirt which isn't my style at all, which judging from the price tag still attached, was bought from the bargain rail on a cruise ship they went on last May.

I don't want or expect expensive presents, but they are the one who are keen to carry on with the present giving, you'd think they'd put in a bit of thought.

We are now trying to think up a really bizarre present for them next year!

hose pipe, packet of seeds, carton of milk?:rotfl::rotfl:

ikkle87

moreofthegoodstuff wrote: »

I could get them 5 yellow scarfs from Poundland but don't think I would be allowed! He said it would have to ''Look decent but not be expensive'' so probably just a gift set but from somewhere not as nice as the body shop etc. At least next year I won't have to feel sad for him when he opens some rubbish because I know we haven't really bothered with them.

Use the grabbits board and you can still get them a bodyshop gift set for less than a fiver. I got 4 £16 sets for £7 a few months ago x

Mrs.W_2

For anyone posting tonight....

The OP has answered her own dilemma several times over in this thread. It's only her own obtuse world view that's keeping her from seeing the fact!

From now on... Knock yourself out.

Arthog

A few years ago, some friends of ours decided the time was right to stop buying gifts for adults. Instead, each year they make a donation - amount not disclosed, to Charity, and they produce and send a card giving details of the Charity's work.
We'll probably take up that idea this year. As someone said, many people have plenty of what they need. For people who are struggling, cash or a voucher is far more useful. Who cares if it means they know how much you are giving?
Reading these posts, it seems that this gift-giving lark has spun out of control!
To children, we give a small gift to open, such as a packet of seeds, and some money. It's fun to think of the older ones going off to town or online and getting what they really want and getting a lot more for the money. The parents can decide what to do with the cash for the younger ones.
I'm planning next Christmas already, with a piece of paper and a pencil.

moreofthegoodstuff

Mrs.W wrote: »

For anyone posting tonight....

The OP has answered her own dilemma several times over in this thread. It's only her own obtuse world view that's keeping her from seeing the fact!

From now on... Knock yourself out.

There is no dilemma, it is simply a conversation.