Parental control advice pls

jockettuk

I asked for some information on this subject over 12 months ago and i can find the info so im asking again..

since last asking ive now moved in with my partner who my daughter adores,
We want to know the cheapest and quickest way to get parental control for him as he picks her up from school and does all the things a father should do, and if she got hospitalised would like to know he has the authority to solve it, these days you need permission to put on a plaster lol

She does see her dad but he lives 80 miles away, and although he is in her life he not really in a position to help if she needed it quickly and i wasn't available.

At the present time her dad has no problems with my partner ( whom ive been with for 6 years) having parental responsability, but as he has a habit of changing his mind this might not be as easy as first thought.

I would if i can prefer to do it without involving solicitors as this seems a red rag to my ex.

We have also heard of a residence order but know nothing of this either



all advice would be appreciated thanks

Rose

Becles

You can apply for a Parental Responsibility Order for a step-parent using this form:
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/cpra2_1205.pdf

You fill it in and you, partner and ex all have to go to the court offices together, sign it with a court witness and post it to the address on the form. You'll get a court stamped copy back each, and that's it. I forget if there was a fee involved or not.

This was the cheapest way of doing it when I looked into getting PR for my hubby, but my ex has objected to him having it

hobo28

Becles is right, there is a form you can fill in the give him parental responsibility. However, I would be careful here or you could end up in a right pickle later down the line.

Things I would be thinking about are the following:

1) Does your ex have PR? He will have automatically if your daughter was born after Dec 2003 and is named on the birth certificate or you were married to him. If he does have it, you will need his permission and from what you've said that seems unlikely and more likely a horrible can of worms would be opened.

2) If you give your partner PR, what happens if you ever split up? I know its not romantic thinking of things like that but its something you need to consider. Would you at that point be happy that he is involved in her life still and potentially end up at court fighting for residence?

3) What would PR actually give him? The hospital thing is often used but in practice a doctor would never withhold treatment in an emergency anyway. Plus you'd probably be informed by your partner via mobile anyway so again what practical use is it? Medical, school stuff etc you will be able to pass along. Also, its unlikely he's going to have the signed form on him anyway so the doctor's have no way of verifying either way what your partner says, especially not in an emergency.

Personally I think its a bad idea. I would certainly urge you to leave things for a few years anyway before doing so if you must.

Becles

Morbid thought, but my main reason for getting PR for hubby was so he would have more rights for keeping my children with him if I died.

He's been more of a father to my boys than their real Dad has ever been, and I would want them to stay here with hubby and their step-sibling.

jockettuk

Thanks for your replies..

cant see my ex wanting to come down to go to court to sign a form he moans when he comes to pick daughter up , not at her but me as he expects me to meet him half way, i do that when he drops her off but need sometime for me and partner to have some time together.

I understand about all the pitfalls but if in the unlikly event we split up then yes i would still want him part of her life and i know she would.

Parental responsabilty is something We all would like him to have as we not married and not for want of him asking but im reluctant after a divorce.

beccles the thought of me not being here for her in the future was also a point would make it easier for him to fight for custody for her..

hobo28

You don't have to involve solicitors. The way I did it was we visited the court and both signed it in front of the clerk. Some places want a judge to sign. Your ex will need to be present with ID such as passport, photo drivers license etc. The court will sign and one copy will be filed. When I did it, I found one court very unhelpful and I could only go at set times and then no judges were available. In the end another court let me go and the clerk signed instead of hanging around on the off chance of a judge being free.

jockettuk wrote:

I understand about all the pitfalls but if in the unlikly event we split up then yes i would still want him part of her life and i know she would.

Sounds great right now whilst everything is going well. Plus would you be willing to fight him over custody? Giving him PR puts him on an equal footing with yourself and your ex.

jockettuk wrote:

Parental responsabilty is something We all would like him to have as we not married and not for want of him asking but im reluctant after a divorce.

I'm confused. Do you want to give him PR or not? Is your partner pushing you?

jockettuk

hobo28 wrote: »

You don't have to involve solicitors. The way I did it was we visited the court and both signed it in front of the clerk. Some places want a judge to sign. Your ex will need to be present with ID such as passport, photo drivers license etc. The court will sign and one copy will be filed. When I did it, I found one court very unhelpful and I could only go at set times and then no judges were available. In the end another court let me go and the clerk signed instead of hanging around on the off chance of a judge being free.


Sounds great right now whilst everything is going well. Plus would you be willing to fight him over custody? Giving him PR puts him on an equal footing with yourself and your ex.


I'm confused. Do you want to give him PR or not? Is your partner pushing you?

no he not pushing me , he has asked me to marry him but i dont want to get married again .. Yes i want to give him responsabilty and my daughter is 12 is ok with it to..

hobo28

ah lol, ok! Understood now.