Really worried about the future :(

Sarah1971

This is a long story but I'll try and keep it short.

I was left on my own just over 2 years ago when my youngest son was born, by my ex husband (I have 6 year old and a 2 year old). I had to return to work earlier than expected to make ends meet.

After struggling all this time juggling childcare, money, stressful job etc I've done a mad and silly thing. I quit my job. Mainly due to stress and depression. I couldn't cope any longer doing all this on my own. I have no friends or family members that live close to me.

Anyway I finish a week on Friday and my income will just be my monthly child maintenance and child allowance, I get tax credits but I think that will stop if I'm not working.

I am seeing my doctor on Friday, 1st appointment I could get, to tell him that I think I'm suffering from depression and could he sign me off for my final working week, I feel ill at the thought of having to go back in there. What do I do from there? Are there any benefits I can claim towards looking after the children, paying the bills, the mortgage. I have just enough equity in the house to pay off all my debt but then we would be homeless if I was forced to sell. I have no savings. No access to any money whatsoever. I am really really scared and feel like I'm going to lose everything.

I'm thinking of going to the CAB next Monday with a list of all of my outgoings and asking for their help. Is this the best thing to do?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

inkie

Hi Sarah - sending virtual hugs your way. You have really had a tough time going through all that on your own. Well done for taking the first step by posting on here - and for making that appointment with your GP. If you are depressed or suffering from anxiety, then that is the first step to getting a diagnosis and some help from that point.

Now finance, I am not sure what you would be entitled to benefits wise (people on benefits board would be able to help there) or check out https://www.entitledto.com. Once you have woked out what availabel income you have - time for a budget, that will prevent yourself getting anyfurther into debt and start hacking awa y at the existing debt.
Please post your statement of affair (incomings and outgoings) so that we can see what you are spending where to enable you to see about making savings etc - iI know that you say you are planning to go to the CAB, but there is a wealth of info available from here, and this means you can start and look at things now rather than waiting for CAB.

Do you think that you are ready to do anywork just at the moment - is it just your current post that is getting you down? Would you be able to manage something that fits around the children perhaps?

Try not to panic (easier said than done) - you are right to think about your health, now is the time to take a look at the financial implications of your decision. Keep posting on here so that you can get the help that you need just now.

Spendless

Sarah ((((hugs)))))

The CAB is a good place to start. I would imagine you can go on IS, and this in turn would give you things like free school dinners and council tax benefit but you are only allowed to keep a small amount of your maintainance (about £10 a week I think). You may get help towards your mortgage but usually after a qualifying period.

The CAB can do a 'better off' calculation too, to see if you are better off working or not. If you are, maybe you need to find a different type of job. You would need one of 16+ hours to come off IS.

You can have a play with this site www.entitledto.co.uk

Little_Miss_Saver

Hi Sarah (((HUGS)))

Definatley go to the CAB and they can advise you on any benefits you maybe entitled to and help you with your debts etc etc.

If you were forced to sell your house would you not be able to get accomodation from you local council/housing association. You could be entitled to Housing /Council Tax benefits depending on what benefits you may get.

At the end of the day a job is not worth your health, your children need you.

Best of luck and hope that it all works out for you.

LMS xx

twink

sarah, pop into the os board where lots of lovely people will be able to help you with moneysaving ideas and cheap and easy recipes, hugs xx

Rupa

Income Support straight away I think because you have small kids.

Free school meals

Milk tokens for the youngest child - 7 pints a week or more if you do it in a supermarket

council tax benefit - should be 100%

discount on some council provided things eg sport clubs for kids

I think after some time they will pay the interest on your mortgage

Scarlett1

Sarah you might be able to claim an Income Support top up but it depends on how much maintenance you get, but you can get Child Tax Credits (x2) and council tax benefit, and of course the Child Benefit that you already get

Anneliese13

Sarah I stopped work when my daughter was little because my marriage had broken up and she had a few health problems. It was scary as I had a mortgage, debts and had no idea about benefits. But it was quite simply the best thing for us at the time. My job had been very demanding, with long hours and lots of stress involved so we were both much happier.

In my case, I dealt with the debts by selling my property and using the equity to rent privately for a year. (I hadn't realised that the council will rehouse you if it's a question of not being able to meet repayments, but you live and learn). I was entitled to keep some of it as savings whilst claiming I.S, CTB and HB which eased the pressure somewhat.

It will be a big change, and one that takes some getting used to, but really, the benefits system is there as a safety net to be used by people in difficulty until they get back on their feet. Take care of your health first and foremost. It's easy in your situation to feel as if you're going under, but believe me, it is perfectly possible to feed, clothe and give your children everything they REALLY need on a limited income. This board is a mine of information and the regular posters are lovely.

All the very best.

xx Anneliese

Sarah1971

Thanks for all of your advice. I'm feeling a little more positive about things already. I put all of my details into the 'entitled to' website and it actually means I would be better off each month by not working?! It seems a bit odd but I've printed everything off and i'll take it with me when i go to the CAB.

On top of the monthly benefits being more than what I take home now I would also get help towards health costs and free school meals (although they don't have school meals at my sons school!)

I think I'm going to post on the Income support board to see if there are any experts on there who could confirm that my figures are correct, as I'm not convinced.

When I posted this earlier I was in tears, my 2 little boys came over to me and started hugging and kissing me and asking why I was upset. It just makes you realise that things are not so bad afterall, at least I'll always have them 2!

Thanks again for putting my mind at ease

JULIE

Anneliese13 wrote: »

it is perfectly possible to feed, clothe and give your children everything they REALLY need on a limited income.

absolutely...and the most important thing you can give them is your love and being a happy mum which is more important than a depressed and stressed mum who's away for hours a day earning a crust....just a thought could you do childminding?