Massively in Debt and Sad

Newyorkdreams

My thought was about reducing the amount you put away for a holiday to say £50 a month. Take small cheap breaks from time to time, but make plans for a big holiday at the end of this process. Half the fun for me is in the planning and the anticipation. By the time you get to the end of this process there should be a lovely pot of money to spend on a guilt-free holiday.



Thank you Iwannabeasaver, I can see you mean business! Not having a holiday for us right now is probably the best thing to do. And probably for the next 4 years! Our holiday this year was pretty extravagent, we went to Hong Kong, Australia and Thailand but I feel proud that the majority of it (at least 95%) we saved for before we went. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that this money could have went to other debts. A few breaks away sounds like a good plan, it will keep us going while we pay our debt back!

NYD;)

Newyorkdreams

Have you been to the Lake District and Cornwall NYD? Do you always stay in hotels or would you settle for B & B establishments? It is possible to get one day bus passes for the local buses and do some sightseeing and see some stunning scenery that way.[/QUOTE]

Hi Pluto, we have been all over, when we were younger we stayed in youth hostels! But as we grew, our salaries did, then our expectations, then our debt!! In that order! However, we are not snobs, and we have had breaks in the Lake District (normally through deals on groupon or travelzoo) and are happy to stay in places of any star as long as they are clean. I do try and get a bargain these days! I really do! But I think your right, this might need to be done in stages! LOL
NYD

Newyorkdreams

Ok, I wanted to take stock and summarise what I've learned since posting my first MSE post on Sunday! Thank you to everyone who has posted their views, opinions, advice, guidance and thoughts that might help me climb out of this nightmare that I find myself in (well, I should say we find ourselves in but seeing as I manage the money, I seem to take it a bit more seriously because I know the damage). What I've learned is:
- I'm spending too much on entertainment
- I'm spending too much on clothes and holidays
- my mindset is changing but needs a bit more time to lead to effective change that is permanent
- why I got into debt in the first place which is great because it has been very therapeutic
- that I have been trying for the last 2 years but I need to try harder
- that we do not 'deserve' anything other than the basic necessities of life and most of what we want is want rather than need
- that to feel debtfree is the aim and is a gift and when I am there, I will never want to go back
- that with the right planning, support and mindset, I can do this!

NYD x

Upsidedown_Bear

PlutoinCapricorn wrote: »

Just as you have realised that refusals from the banks could be interpreted as a good thing, you may come to accept that cutting back your spending is not hardship or an admission of failure, but something that is very positive.

Major discoveries lie ahead if you have always lived the high life: you will be amazed at how little some people live happily on. So much unnecessary spending goes on in our consumer society and much of it is on credit. Living within ones means without debt feels really good.

You may not want to go so far as to wear boys' underpants - apparently they last a long time - as one frugal living female blogger does, but many people get their clothes from charity shops, rely on the library, museums, parks and Freeview TV for entertainment and recreation, get cheap coach tickets and Travelodge rooms for short breaks in the UK, shop in Poundland and LIDL ... I like to tell people how little my new bag cost, as opposed to how much. I like to tell the people who go to St. Lucia that I had a short break by the sea for £20: 2 nights in a Travelodge and the coach tickets!

I've just been catching up with this thread.

Lots of good advice as always and I'm glad you're learning new things

The blog mentioned is this one by a lady who is a member of MSE - I'm sure she won't mind me mentioning it.
It's a great read

http://www.meanqueen-lifeaftermoney.blogspot.co.uk/

sueh6

Hi NYD

Your story and my story are very similar in that we both racked up loads of debt over a number of years because income was high and we didn't plan or budget. We differ in that my DH didn't know or understand how much debt we were in because I dealt with all the finances - he does now. If you read back through my previous posts you'll see that our princely figure was around £65k just over 2 years ago......we are now at around £28k and looking to be debt free during 2014.

The beauty of a good income is that you can shift it quicker - the downside is that if, for whatever reason, that income stops you have a huge mountain to climb. For that reason it needs to be cleared. For me the snowball calculator on 'whats the cost' has been my saviour - it tells me who and what to pay every month after we decided how much we would chuck at our debts on a monthly basis.

We have had ups and downs along our path and curve balls thrown our way but the big difference now is that we are committed to reducing and clearing our debt month on month rather than just managing and living with it.

Good luck...the first step is always the hardest

nearlyrich

Newyorkdreams wrote: »

What I've learned is:
- I'm spending too much on entertainment
- I'm spending too much on clothes and holidays

Once you have paid off the debts you will have all that lovely money to spend on whatever you like not being wasted on credit card interest. It seems like a long hard road but it is doable and even high earners can only spend it once.

Newyorkdreams

If you read back through my previous posts you'll see that our princely figure was around £65k just over 2 years ago......we are now at around £28k and looking to be debt free during 2014.

WOW! That is amazing and very inspirational to me. Thank you for sharing Sueh6. Amazing, truly. :T:T:T:T

NYD

Newyorkdreams

Hey everyone - just wanted to share a little story with you and get your take on what I should do! This change in mindset is starting to kick in....we went out for dinner tonight with friends to a local Brewers Fayre for a christmas meal. We do it every year and it's good fun. I'm not in great health at the moment so I decided to drive. We paid £5 deposit and our meals were £12.99 so ages ago I budgeted £50 for the night as I knew it wouldn't particularly be a late one. This covered drinks, taxi home and the balance of the meals. Hubby had £20 left over from his works do last night. So.... because I drove I spent nothing on a taxi. My husband bought me a diet coke which you can refill for 'free'. He bought his pints of beer. I paid for the meal balance and spent £16 out of my £50 leaving £34. What should I do? My initial thought was 'put it towards spending over christmas' e.g. more gifts for others, more drink in the pub, a bargain the sale or should I pay an extra £34 to my debts?!! I think I know what the answer should be but would LOVE to hear your views peeps!!!
Wow, this is starting to feel kinda good!!! hee hee
NYD x

sueh6

I think it totally depends on your situation, tbh.

DH and I agreed the amount we would throw at our debt every month and as you've seen from our progress it's a substantial amount. Whilst I believe that anyone repaying debt should change their ways and be as thrifty as possible I also believe that it's important to do things that you enjoy and have things to look forward to. We also have a similar situation where DH went out on his works do last night and came back with half of the money he went out with......we will now use that to have a little treat for us on Xmas Eve which wasn't planned. Our debt repayment will not change.

Each to their own but I know that if we threw everything at our debt, with no treats etc then I doubt we would have come so far so quickly but you may be different

PlutoinCapricorn

NYD, it is to your advantage that you started out by holidaying in the UK and staying in hostels. You have been up the mountain, and now you are returning. The party is over! You have had your fun, and now reality is waiting.

I would certainly pay off as much debt as possible as soon as possible. Your summary of where you are now seems spot on: with that attitude I am sure that you will clear your debts.

It will be interesting to see how far down you will want to come: stopping spending on luxuries and 'wants' to clear debt is one thing, penny pinching because of a low income is another. I for example make 3 cups of tea out of 2 teabags, but it is Yorkshire Tea not value. Once a toothbrush is looking worn, I demote it and use it for scrubbing corners and along skirting boards.