Families being nasty when you feel under the weather

Horasio

My mother and my OH really get nasty to me when I feel under the weather.

All I want is to be quiet and be left alone but somehow they see that as being nasty and are nasty to me for stating how I feel.

It really brings me down and wonder why they do it? They claim they care but are really uncaring at this time.

It is making me want to live alone, so I don't have to be under pressure to be sparkling all the time.

Does anyone else get this and how do you cope if you do?

Morglin

Unfortunately, some people do like kicking a person when they are down - my ex used to be like this.

If I was healthy, he knew he had no chance of getting the better of me, but when I was "under", he would go for the jugular.:mad:

I got the hang of never reacting and just laughing (even if I didn't feel like it), but in the end, this needs to be talked about.

Can you not sit your OH down, tell him how this makes you feel, and tell him that you've had enough of it?

If you feel low a lot of the time, it might also be an idea to talk to your GP.

Lin

seven-day-weekend

Some people can't cope with illness, especially depression and especially if you are normally the 'sensible' or 'strong' one.

Don't know what you can do about it, other than tell them (when you're feeling OK) that you find it upsetting and asking them to stop.

Or just keep your mouth shut and don't tell them how you feel at all.

I'm not being nasty, I've been there and sometimes you just have to keep it to yourself.

Hope you feel better soon.

Tam_Lin

Tell them when you're feeling well that their attitude annoys you, and that on the occasions when you're ill, you want to be left alone so they should be prepared to fend for themselves. Do they feel that you're ill a lot? Maybe the whole thing brings home to them how helpless they are to help you, and that makes them cranky and nasty.

I must admit I don't like fuss if I'm ill; just leave me to get on with it. Don't ask me every 10 minutes how I'm feeling, and don't smother me.

belfastgirl23

TBH my first step would be to clear off if I need time to myself. The bath is always a good place for some quiet alone time.

But the other thing is to look honestly at how you say it just in case it does come across as aggressive or whatever? If you're not feeling the best it's easy to sound grumpy. If they both think the same thing then just maybe it's because that's how it appears to them. I know enough now that when I'm in bad form I need to smile at DH and say clearly that I'm in bad form and just need a bit of time out to recover. But it is about me being realistic that I am not in a good mood and telling him that rather than him having to guess or feeling he's done something wrong. You need to think about this when you're feeling okay cos when you're feeling down you don't always have perspective on it.

Hope it works out for you.

poppycracker

My OH does this and it drives me up the wall..... but lo and behold if I do the same to him when he's feeling under the weather.

Just ignore him OP until you feel better. ((((hugs)))) to you.

amandada

kick him in the nads and then see how he likes it!