Help from FT working parents with children at school

valk_scot

My DS used to read to his sister, who is five years younger and was a most appreciative audience! It's not a substitute for reading with a parent of course but it's an extra thing to do and most kids quite enjoy one to one time like this with siblings.

Also if possible get your mum to change the little ones into their PJs while you take that extra time to do reading. (I presume they'll have eaten by then.) Kids don't need bathed every night as long as you do a good top and tail on alternate nights.

And give your OH a kick up the bum, tbh. His kids too. It's all very well him wanting a breather but I'm sure you would too. If you both pitch in you'll both get your breather that much earlier, surely?

Sus1e

Could your DS do his reading homework by reading it as a bedtime story to the little ones?
This would get the homework done, give them a bedtime story and let DS feel like he is helping Mummy - you will be in the room but could do other things while listening like putting clothes away etc.

Might not work but might be worth a try :think:

Madmel

First, you are a good mum so don't be harsh on yourself.

Secondly, one of my DDs was useless in the evenings - crabby, irritable and generally a pain. However, she is great in the mornings. She used to read to me whilst I prepared breakfast & packed lunches early in the morning, or even on the way to school. Even now, between breakfast and leaving the house to get the bus [now at secondary school!], she fits in 20 minutes' music practice most days. Does reading have to be done in the evening? Could it be done down the phone to someone? Is there a neighbour, particularly someone on their own who would love the company of hearing a little one read to them?

Don't panic about his reading level yet. The main things are that he is prepared to try and that he is making progress. Both my DDs were fluent readers early, but we offered them a treat every time they went up a level on the Oxford Reading Tree scheme to keep them motivated. DD2 used to bring half the books home at a time as she liked the rewards - nothing changes!

squeakysue

I don't work but even I struggle to fit things in so don't beat yourself up over it. Don't worry about what other kids in his class are reading, it's so hard not to compare but they all develop at different rates. If he is not in the mood to read you his school book get him to read something else to you maybe while you are cooking etc, say things like oh I would love for you to read me a story or your little brother/sister love your storytelling....I write in my dd's reading journal what other things she has read to me (she is bored by the school reading books so reads them alone in school).

Maybe take him to the library at the weekend to choose some books and say you can read them together after some of his school book.

The idea of sending pj's to your mums so they can be ready when you pick them up is a great idea would maybe give you more time but please don't stress you are doing the best you can, I take my hat off to working mums parenting is so hard isn't it especially on our emotions x

tyllwyd

If your DS won't concentrate on his school books, maybe it's partly because he sees them as 'work' and he just isn't interested in them. Have you tried getting some other books for the two of you to read together at bed time? As long as he is looking at books and reading, it doesn't have to be the Oxford Learing Tree books (which personally I find as dull as ditchwater!)

PS Just realised I pretty much repeated what the poster above said!

thehappybutterfly

I have to confess that I didn't and still can't manage to cope with everything. I'm another one who gets home quite late and sometimes I bring work home too. I've never helped my kids with their homework apart from P1 reading. It's sink or swim in my house I'm ashamed to say. But then I AM a crap mum. Although according to my kids I'm a good mum (but really, what do they know?). God it's just so hard.

365days

Does the teacher know what life is like at your house. If you wrote a note explaining the situation they may be able to pair your child up with a reading buddy at school.

You are not a 'don't give a toss parent' just a really hard working one!! If the school is made aware they may be able to push some extra help your child's way.

Don't worry what other kids are reading. It means nothing in the great scheme of things. There are an awful lot of competitive mums out there, who really have nothing more important to worry about than pushing Johnny and Jenny up the reading scheme. Cultivate a love of reading, let your kids see you read, visit the libray some weekends. A love of reading can be squeezed out of kids by pushy parents.

FBaby

we do spelling in the car on the way to breakfast club! My boy learnt at an early stage that he had to spell rather than write them, but this has paid off because he memorise them better by spelling than aloud than writing them down!

Reading, we never did every day but whenever we had 5 minutes. He was encouraged to read anything when we went out though so that was good practice. Could you put subtitles with the TV shows he watches, that might encourage him to read them.

glitter_fairy

my son is 10 and always struggled with school work, 18 moths ago we got a tutor helped more than i can explan x

bylromarha

I'm a primary teacher - I always suggest to parents, working or not, that mornings are a FAR better time to do a bit of reading and spelling practice. Kids are awake, alert and not yet drained by a day of school.

Works brilliantly with my kids - the homework battles from the evening became a pleasure in the mornings when I made the change myself. Which is why I suggest it to EVERY parent, not just those who work.

Any way you could all get up 10 minutes earlier and fit in a little bit every day before school? It really is worth it, promise!