Chief Bridesmaid dilemma!

sakhile

Hi all,

I am getting married next May, and have a bit of a bridesmaid dilemma but thankfully it's sort of a nice one!

I have 3 bridesmaids, all friends from different parts of my life who don't know each other. Two of them got married last year, and I was 'chief' bridesmaid for both of them - signed the register, rode in the posh car, sat on top table etc. The third is getting married in 2014, and has already told me I am her Chief, yikes!

So I didn't really want to make any of them the 'chief' bridesmaid and was instead hoping to divide up the roles and make them all feel special. But I've run out of roles!

I've asked Bridesmaid 1 to sign the register, as we've been friends since we were toddlers.

Bridesmaid 2 will be on top table (can only fit one bridesmaid there for long and complicated family reasons, and it has to be this one).

So what can I do for bridesmaid 3??? She has been fab, so helpful, and has taken on the 'hen do' duties without me even asking her. So I want to make her feel special, and recognise her friendship in front of everyone like the others will get. I might give her a reading, but she is quite shy so it might be more stressful than special!

All of them are riding in the car with me as it's large enough for all.

So can anyone think of any other way she can get involved? Am I missing any outside the box type ideas?

Any help would be much appreciated xxx

Labsettings

I was going to suggest maybe she could do a short speech, however if she's shy that won't help! Does it have to be something on the actual day? As organising a hen is hard work as it is probably!

I might get my bridesmaids to help the ushers seat people before the ceremony - I would probably get fed up with people flapping around me and they get to spend some time chatting to people.

The only other thing I'd say is that you don't need to give your friends a special 'job''for them to know they are special! A special mention during the speeches I'm sure will be enough for her. As other board members here say, no matter how excited people are for you, they are never as worried about all the little aspects of the wedding as you are. You've picked her as a bridesmaid, that's lovely enough!

Scotsbride

sakhile wrote: »

Hi all,

I am getting married next May, and have a bit of a bridesmaid dilemma but thankfully it's sort of a nice one!

I have 3 bridesmaids, all friends from different parts of my life who don't know each other. Two of them got married last year, and I was 'chief' bridesmaid for both of them - signed the register, rode in the posh car, sat on top table etc. The third is getting married in 2014, and has already told me I am her Chief, yikes!

So I didn't really want to make any of them the 'chief' bridesmaid and was instead hoping to divide up the roles and make them all feel special. But I've run out of roles!

I've asked Bridesmaid 1 to sign the register, as we've been friends since we were toddlers.

Bridesmaid 2 will be on top table (can only fit one bridesmaid there for long and complicated family reasons, and it has to be this one).

So what can I do for bridesmaid 3??? She has been fab, so helpful, and has taken on the 'hen do' duties without me even asking her. So I want to make her feel special, and recognise her friendship in front of everyone like the others will get. I might give her a reading, but she is quite shy so it might be more stressful than special!

All of them are riding in the car with me as it's large enough for all.

So can anyone think of any other way she can get involved? Am I missing any outside the box type ideas?

Any help would be much appreciated xxx

_ could she take your boquet and hold it for you at the altar

sheeppappar

Scotsbride wrote: »

_ could she take your boquet and hold it for you at the altar

that sounds like a fab idea - not a stressful job ,, and just make sure you mention her in the speeches and make a big thing of how great the hen night was. Also actually just making sure you take the time to speak to her for 5 mins on the day to tell her how much you appreciate her will go a long way xx

hp3

I'm so glad I came across this thread, I have the exact same dilema, although my three are all best friends and we have known each other through school. I have been 'chief bridesmaid' for two that are married. I have given my 'longest & closest' friend the duty of signing the register and she knows how important she is to me as I tell her often. My other bridesmaid is sorting out the hen do and would like to do a reading at some point but I am struggling on what to give my other friend, I really like the idea of giving her my flowers to hold and again they will all be mentioed in the speeches. Thanks for the ideas!

Idiophreak

Hmm....had never really thought of this...We just had 3 bridesmaids and didn't worry about any kind of rank - the bridesmaids (despite all being miles apart from each other) sorted everything out between them...
But then we had our mums sign the register and didn't have tables...So I guess there weren't so many "roles" to divvy up, anyway...

Stephb1986_2

I'm not having bridesmaids so it's making my life easier!

I think letting her hold your boquet at the altar is a good job

Steph xx

Dekazer

When I bridesmaided for one friend, the thing that was most Chief-like was that I took her to the loo all day

Have you made plans for the night before the wedding? Would any/all of the girls stay with you in your room/house/hotel? That's the most bonding bit I think - getting ready in the morning.

Also, if you make sure and get a photo with all three of them in it they'll all fee equal then..

McKneff

You dont 'have' to have a chief bridesmaid.

Sit them altogether at the reception so that they are all equal.

sakhile

Wow thanks everyone! The bouquet idea is awesome will definitely be doing that, and will make sure to give her a huge mention in the speeches.

on reflection, she's not one that likes a lot of attention so might be happy just being involved in the background anyway. She has a little daughter so I might get her something to wear which matches the bridesmaids as another idea.

Thanks again everyone xxx

Scotsbride

glad you got it sorted. don't forget other jobs for your bm like carrying safety pins just in case and hair grips if they ask also lippy. also it worth having a pratice of getting into your dress before your day as as much as I love my bms we all found getting into the dress stressful!