Christmas with children who have asd or similar?

my3girls

Thanks so much for replies everyone, its really appreciated and apologies I haven't replied sooner having a bit of a nightmare with dd3 tbh! She's been in and out of hospital for weeks and was rather poorly for a while there, but that's us 'home for the holidays' now.

We've read numerous books, I made her a picture table explaining what will happen during the day, she won't entertain wrapped presents at all but I've explained that Santa will wrap her sisters and she can sit on her own and doesn't have to go near them, it's rather tricky!

She has sat and listened and gone through everything with me, but i don't think she's actually taking much in. We've not decorated the house only a tree, and I've tried to keep things as 'normal' as possible and not mention christmas to her too much. She was having a nightmare about it last night she was screaming out about Xmas but couldn't tell me what in particular. Aaarggghh lol!

To make matters worse we have over 40 people coming over christmas night (not planned, just escalated!) but she can stay in our room and stay away from everyone, or even stay at mils if she wants. I wanted to cancel everyone but Dh thinks, as posters have said, she needs to be exposed to these situations.

I just want her to be happy and don't know how she will manage, think I'm being over protective!

Ramble over, thanks again

JJ
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kjmtidea

My youngest son who is 5 has selective mutism and developmental delays, he is currently going through the 'being tested for asd/everything process'. Most days with him are interesting enough, Christmas is erm.... challenging. He just doesn't understand why we put the tree up, why we give people Christmas cards (in fact I haven't this year just to make life easier) no amount of explaining will make him understand.

He has his school party tomorrow and I am exhausted trying to make sure that he understands what is happening and why. I kind of agree with murie's post, I used to try and get the school to let him sit out of stuff that I thought he wouldn't cope with like sports day but his teacher was very keen to let him try and he always suprises me with how well he copes and sometimes even enjoys it!

So I have no idea what Christmas day will be like, last year he fell in love with the first present he opened and then wasn't bothered with anything else. I also have 3 other boys who luckily have no 'issues' at all!

ETA - His ear defenders are a life saver for if lots of people come round or we go out to noisy places.

vikki_louise

I've seen quite a few blog posts and sections around with info and advice on getting through Christmas/the holidays (quite a few are American), if you google them it should come up

jordygal

How about wrapping her presents in the see through cellophane florists use so she can see in? and maybe wrap up a couple of "old Favourite" toys like this to open first to get used to the idea?

[Deleted User]

I feel for you as my Grandson is Autistic , but I would say fairly mildly as even though he has no speech at 5 ( only a few words ) and doesn't like change he has slowly got used to Christmas over the years and his school is really helping!

He comes home singing ''Little Donkey'' even though he only sings a few words acurately he sounds like an angel to his Mum & I :D

He loves presents and knows its something nice for him to play with under the wrapper but we would NEVER take him Christmas shopping as he hates shops & crowds

To him I think it is just ''family time'' as he loves having me round & family & visitors he feels comfortable with & in general is a happy little soul so a big dinner & extra toys plus having Nanny round to stay seems to be a bonus to him thankfully! x

YORKSHIRELASS

Oh believe me you are not on your own! My son suffers with anxiety and depression linked to a chronic illness and Christmas is not easy. He hates the change in routine, worries that everyone else is having a better time than him, worries that his presents arent good enough, then worries that he is spoiling it for everyone else!

He doesnt go to school and has no friends so like a lot of people who are isolated this makes it very hard and he is very aware of what he is missing at this time of year.

We have a younger son so try to make Christmas as "normal" as possible for him but for our older son we throw the normal traditions out of the window if this makes it easier. He knows what his main present is and has seen it already. From past experience he will be buzzing for the next couple of days then it will all come crashing down on Christmas Eve. One year I didnt get any sleep at all he was in such a state.

I guess we just muddle though and do what we can. Its easy to beat yourself up and worry about the effect on your other kids but like us they are probably used to a bit of chaos and just adapt to it.

Good luck, hope it all goes OK.

scaredy_cat

i found this article interesting - http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ouch/2012/12/tips_for_an_autism-friendly_ch.html