My 6 year old son child is struggling in school

yus786

I have 2 boys - in Y1 and Y4 and i think they are both very bright.

The last Parent Evening I attended was a huge shock for me - to learn that my 6 year old is struggling and as the teacher put it - 'just about coping'. I found this utter nonsense.... We spend a lot of time with our children everyday and i cannot see 'where/how' my child is struggling.

Just got his 'targets met' report yesterday and the 2 targets he didn't meet was

1. Counting backwards in 2's (from 30), and backwards in 5's (from 50)
2. Know by heart all pairs of numbers that sum up to 10

So what did i do - i tested him and guess what - he got them right. He had to think about a couple and took a bit of time on some but he got them all right.

So I'm going to write to the school and ask them how they have measured this and what more we can do to 'help the school and my son'

Any advises?

Cheers

snowmaid

Firstly, don't start a 'fight' with the school. Find out all the facts first. Yes, teachers can get it wrong, they are human, but they also teach many children and some have done so for many years.

If there is a problem, sit down with her in a meeting and ask her what she is talking about, what you can do to help etc. We are all protective of our children and want the best for them and it is hard to find out our little ones may be struggling.

But rather be proactive instead of ranting about the teacher in front of the child (not saying you do, but just an example) or storming into the office and causing unnecessary ill feelings.

If the school sees that we as parents support the teachers instead of mouthing off to them every chance we get, I think our kids could benefit. I have walked into a school where parents swear at the teachers / staff and then want to know why their kids are like they are. :rolleyes:

My sister's child is very very young for his age. The teacher suggested that he could benefit by spending another year but that this wasn't really allowed. My sister, along with the teacher, fought tooth and nail with the LA for him to be allowed to spend an extra year, they got this right. My nephew has FLOURISHED and is top of his class. He is confident, outgoing, bright and is the antithesis of what he was the year before. Just the extra year of grounding did him the world of good.

My point is that working with the school, instead of against can have tremendous results.

Once again, not saying that you are working against!

bluebell13

Why are you so upset about this?Your teacher has highlighted some concerns she has about your son. Surely that is her job. I was told that my son is bright but there are some areas where he does not meet all the targets. All children have different areas which they excel and some that they are not so good at. I appreciate it is difficult to hear that your son may be struggling, and it is good that you want to help him, but surely it is better to work with his teacher about the concerns than jump in and criticise her teaching.

bunty109

I think snowmaid is right about how you need to approach things. Tread carefully and always stress how you want to help support your child and the teaching being provided.

Teachers do sometimes varying in their opinions. Last year my DD was on a learning programme for being gifted and talented. I was told her teacher this year would carry it on, but she hasn't. We've queried it, but she doesn't feel my DD needs it. I suspect it is because she has so many childrne in the class on programmes because they are struggling, she doesn't need the admin. So we're supporting her as best we can as we know she'll be in secondary school soon and they can cater for her better.

I'd suggest working on his targets at home so he's absolutely certain of them and perhaps going to see the teacher to see what else you can do. If this is a problem with the teacher not properly understanding your son, then you only have a term before you'll get a new teacher. It isn't ideal, but sometimes it takes a certain teacher to make a child really flourish: that teacher may not be the same for everyone!

yus786

Thanks everyone.

I guess I'm just very upset as i never had any idea's my child could be struggling. See we spend a lot of time with our sons (i even changed my job and took a huge pay cut so i can be at home more).

But i had no intentions of having a go at the teachers. I was a parent governor for 6 years and have a lot of respect for them.

Point taken everyone - thanks again. You are all very right.

bunty109

yus786 wrote: »

Thanks everyone.

I guess I'm just very upset as i never had any idea's my child could be struggling. See we spend a lot of time with our sons (i even changed my job and took a huge pay cut so i can be at home more).

But i had no intentions of having a go at the teachers. I was a parent governor for 6 years and have a lot of respect for them.

Point taken everyone - thanks again. You are all very right.

Yus, if you know the teachers as a governor, you are porbably in a really good position to have an informal chat. I'm a parent governor and would find it very easy to approach my son's teacher.

It's hard when they struggle. As I said, my DD is very able. My DS1 is very capable but just less interested in school. However, I know he has the ability and at some point he'll start to fly. A lot of my friends say their sons have taken until secondary school to start to get going properly. I've certainly found my DS slower to get interested in things than his sister....it could just be that your eldest is an exception and your youngest is just a normal lad of his age.

Talk to his tacher informally and just ask what s/he thinks you could do to help.

Good luck.

bluebell13

It sound as though you feel you should have known your son was struggling. Being at home with him will have given him so much in other ways. Be proud of that. Then you can work to help him with his targets. My son insists on putting a capital A in the middle of his name so he fails the target for writing his name in the appropriate case. Oh, well. He's still a lovely child!

Becles

I went through similar with my youngest. His teacher in Year 1 was quite intimidating, and I think he lost his confidence there.

His Year 2 teacher was lovely, and explained she thought he was struggling with areas I knew he could do. We sat down together for a chat, and I explained he could do some of the things she was saying he couldn't do. We then got my son, and "tested" him, and she was quite surprised that he knew as much as he did.

What it boiled down was that he was quiet as a mouse in the classroom. He never put his hand up to answer questions, and when asked directly in front of the class, he would just "don't know" to her questions.

She did a lot work with him to improve his confidence and he became happier to share his knowledge in front of the class. His marks have been fine since and his Year 3 teacher is happy with his progress this year. He's still a bit unhappy about answering questions out loud in case he gets it wrong and people laugh at him, but we're working on that!

Just thought I'd mention it in case this could be happening to your son, and it might be something you haven't thought of.

yus786

Becles wrote: »

I went through similar with my youngest. His teacher in Year 1 was quite intimidating, and I think he lost his confidence there.

His Year 2 teacher was lovely, and explained she thought he was struggling with areas I knew he could do. We sat down together for a chat, and I explained he could do some of the things she was saying he couldn't do. We then got my son, and "tested" him, and she was quite surprised that he knew as much as he did.

What it boiled down was that he was quiet as a mouse in the classroom. He never put his hand up to answer questions, and when asked directly in front of the class, he would just "don't know" to her questions.

She did a lot work with him to improve his confidence and he became happier to share his knowledge in front of the class. His marks have been fine since and his Year 3 teacher is happy with his progress this year. He's still a bit unhappy about answering questions out loud in case he gets it wrong and people laugh at him, but we're working on that!

Just thought I'd mention it in case this could be happening to your son, and it might be something you haven't thought of.

SPOT ON - honestly...

The last parents evening - that is exactly what his teacher said. That he's shy, doesn't put his hand up and it takes him time to 'get going' so to speak, yet i know he is very bright.

I'm hoping this will improve in Y2 as Bunty109 suggested "sometimes it takes a certain teacher to make a child really flourish: that teacher may not be the same for everyone!"

However I'm still gonna make an appointment to see the teacher.

thanks

yus786

Those of you with kids in Y1/2 and possibly Y4/5 - what 'extra' work do you do with them at home?

Can you suggest some websites or books etc?

Thanks

Sazere

My son is in Y1 and we buy the gold star books (sorry can't think what they are off the top of my head, but you can buy them in WHSmiths) which he finds fun.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/magickey/ Has characters from Oxford Reading Tree books for KS1

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/wordsandpictures/index.shtml Phonics work for KS1

http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/index.shtml KS1, KS2

http://www.bbc.co.uk/education/dynamo/den/spelling/index.htm Spellings KS1

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/interactive/literacy.html Loads of interactive games


I'm sure there are others, but these are some we like, HTH!