Calling all working ~<MaMMa's>~

*DaDa

Hi all:kisses:,

Im a young mum to 4 lovely children, I work full time (Mon-Fri)
Ive gone back to work 6 months ago my children are 10,5,2 and 1
...I live with my OH.

OH's Duties..School Run and looks after 1yr old and some days 2 yr old aswell. Some housework when he can be bothered;). Oh and he does the sandwiches

My duties..Get younger 2 sometimes 3 ready , get ready myself at work for 8 sometimes 9am...Finsh work at 5 or 6..co me home (Cook if I havent the day before) feed kids, clean up, dinner for me and OH, clean up with help from OH, put kids to bed, clean up sort clothes out for next day. Sit down for 30 mins to an hour. and BED:j:j..

I am constantly exhausted and snappy..my OH is as supportive as possible,,but I do try my best not to pressurize him alot as he is and has been trying really hard to look for work. and helps me out as much as possible.

I feel like Im hardly spending any time with my children and the little time I do get Im either too tired or got too much work to do.

How do you guys manage??
Or any hints/tips to chuck my way..

Many Thanks

*D*Da

McKneff

Do I take it your OH doesnt work:eek:

He should be doing the cleaning up and the cooking and the washing during the day, full stop.

I'm not surprised your exhausted, bloody hell, he'd be getting a lot more than snapped at in my house.

What is he doing all day..............

McKneff

And by the way, big respect to you for working :T:T:T

*DaDa

McKneff wrote: »

Do I take it your OH doesnt work:eek:

He should be doing the cleaning up and the cooking and the washing during the day, full stop.

I'm not surprised your exhausted, bloody hell, he'd be getting a lot more than snapped at in my house.

What is he doing all day..............

He cannot cook,,,Been with him 10 years never even got him to make beans on toast:mad:..He does do his own breakfast not sure what hes been doing though

He does help with the hoover and dishes during the day whilst I am at work or putting kids to bed.. And when im at home Whilst Im cooking, cleaning etc he watches the kids,,

Were both clean freaks e.g I cant go to bed if theres dishes in the sink:mad:

*DaDa

McKneff wrote: »

And by the way, big respect to you for working :T:T:T

Thanks:beer:
Its got to be done cant imagine my kids growing up thinking you can sit at home and do nothing for bread n butter...I consider myself lucky that I have the ability to work and have managed to get a job given the current climate.

McKneff

My apologies if your OH can't work.

I know that finances might be tight but it is possible to invest in a dishwasher, interest free finance possibly.
Its amazing how much time they save you, not to mention the stress.
5 minutes after eating my kitchen is free and clear. Christmas day, is just brilliant knowing I dont have a mound of washing up.

Hope everything works out for you. I do realise it must be hard having 4 children, they will benefit from taking on your work ethic.

Annie

j.e.j.

*DaDa wrote: »

I am constantly exhausted and snappy..my OH is as supportive as possible,,but I do try my best not to pressurize him alot as he is and has been trying really hard to look for work. and helps me out as much as possible.

Whilst he is at home he needs to do the 'houseworky' stuff (whether he wants to or not!), including looking after the kids and cooking. It's a bit of a role reversal, I guess, but thinking about it, what would a woman who is at home during the day do in that situation? Would she expect her husband, who's working full-time, to come home and cook 2 meals and clean and look after the children? Would she just say 'oh I can't cook..' and refuse to cook anything for the family? I'd like to hope not!

miduck

*DaDa wrote: »

He cannot cook,,,Been with him 10 years never even got him to make beans on toast:mad:..He does do his own breakfast not sure what hes been doing though

He does help with the hoover and dishes during the day whilst I am at work or putting kids to bed.. And when im at home Whilst Im cooking, cleaning etc he watches the kids,,

Were both clean freaks e.g I cant go to bed if theres dishes in the sink:mad:

Why is it that he cannot cook? What you have described sounds like he chooses not to, not that he is not able to.

dandelionclock30

What about writing him a list everyday and saying that he has to do the tasks to help the household.?
Also what about showing him how to cook some simple meals and he can get a pen and pad and make notes so that he remembers what goes in, in which order etc.
Explain to him that he needs to be pulling his weight as you cant be working and do all the cooking and cleaning. If he doesnt pull his weight he is basically disrespecting you and needs to be shown the door.
Theres plenty of men who are not idle and will do the tasks. Ask him to shape up or leave. Of course he will be able to cook, its more than he wont because he doesnt have to.
If it was a case of starving or cooking,he do it.

j.e.j.

you could point him to the FlyLady thread on MSE

Bennifred

I was a SAHM for years when my children were younger (OH worked full-time and varied shifts - still does!) Any household jobs that could be done whilst OH was working, I did - that was part of my job, along with looking after the children. So - washing, ironing, cleaning, shopping, food preparation, finance sorting, gardening - all MY jobs. Once OH came home, any jobs that needed doing were split between us - feeding children, bathing children, clearing up etc etc. This meant we could have an equal amount of free time.
Could you leave a list for your OH to work through, so that he does as much as possible whilst you are at work? Sometimes people (men, lol!) just don't see what needs doing unless it is pointed out to them.

As for "can't cook" - that is just rubbish! Anyone who can read instructions can cook! Would he starve if you weren't there?! At the very least he can peel potatoes, chop onions etc!