Sisters boyfriend!!

BusinessStudent

Need some advice on this,

Basicly my sister is sixteen studying for her GCSES. Her boyfriend is the same age as me (18yo), he lives next door to my cousins and they have known each other for years. Her boyfriend is very friendly, a bit full of himself but not the typcial 'chav boy'.

He finished school, stayed on for 6th form, completed that, took a year off to get some money working full time in a shop and he now is doing a apprentice 5 days a week and working during the weekend.

My sister gets ALOT of money out of him, considering she has no job, and doesn't intend to get one - this is something i found out when i presented her with application forms for shop jobs. I know this is a big reason why she is with him, although i know they both love each other for very much.

For the past few months her boyfriend and her are sleeping together in her bed - (not doing anything sexual as far as i am aware - they leave the door slightly open at night!) At first my mom agreed to let him sleep for the 'weekend only' - however he is now sleeping every night, he gets up goes to work/apprentice place, finishes work, goes back to his house, comes to our house at approx 7pm or 8pm and then spends the night here.

He might aswel live here!. Mom agreed to let him stop the weekend because if she didn't, then my sister would have likely moved out.

Now, my sister CANNOT go to her boyfriends house because as I mentioned he lives next door to our cousins (3 boys who are 16, 19 and 21) and they would be mad as hell if they knew them two was together because they have seen my sisters bf with many girls before (he gets all the girls apparently as he is a good lookin lad)

I need some advice on this situation. My main points are

1) My sister is only 16 !! - she's not even at college yet! - I know myself that when you go to college you get alot more independance and meet new people.

2) Her boyfriend sleeping here every night - Don't get me wrong i like her boyfriend, but i see him as taking advantage now. My mom has had several rants about me paying rent to live here now I am 18, although I am in full time education and only work part time during the weekend.

My sisters boyfriend eats out the fridge and sleeps here when he wants in bed with my sister. He does not like it at his house, so i can understand why he is sleeping here but I feel that he should be paying my mom rent or helping out in someway, which he doesn't. I walk in the kitchen often to find that he has left his 'leftovers' on the plate and not even bothered to put them in the sink.

At the same time I do not want to go against my sister and her boyfriend but I feel that he is using her and us for the house. We are not a hotel!

Thanks

Spendless

If it's your parents house, which from your post I think it is, it is up to them to make the rules including who can and can't stay, for how long and what financial contribution they make.

reehsetin

problem is if it comes from you your sister might not take it very well, your parents need to set the boundry

Carmina_Piranha_3

what age did you start paying rent to your mum? if it's you paying rent when he doesn't have to and your sister won't because she isn't going to get a job then it could be worth talking to your mum about it. if she's not going to force your sister to pay rent while she's at college then perhaps you could say you won't pay it either.

if your mum didn't charge you rent at 16 then your sister not getting a job doesn't really matter - if she doesn't have to pay rent until she's 18 then perhaps she doesn't need a job at the moment? i assume she wants to spend her evenings and weekends with her boyfriend rather than working during the free time he has.

i don't really understand the problem about the cousins, sorry.

BusinessStudent

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

what age did you start paying rent to your mum? if it's you paying rent when he doesn't have to and your sister won't because she isn't going to get a job then it could be worth talking to your mum about it. if she's not going to force your sister to pay rent while she's at college then perhaps you could say you won't pay it either.

if your mum didn't charge you rent at 16 then your sister not getting a job doesn't really matter - if she doesn't have to pay rent until she's 18 then perhaps she doesn't need a job at the moment? i assume she wants to spend her evenings and weekends with her boyfriend rather than working during the free time he has.

i don't really understand the problem about the cousins, sorry.

Thanks for your reply.

I do NOT pay rent as of yet, this is because I am in full time education and work part time - rather than paying rent, I help around the house a awful lot and pay for 80% of all my food. We have discussed paying rent when I go to uni or get a full time job next yeear.

Basicly my sisters boyfriend gets paid for his apprenticeship at £500 per week. He does NEITHER pay rent or help around the house.

lady_noluck

£500 a week??? I don't even get that and i'm in full time employment!!!:eek: I want a job where he works!!

chika

If he makes your sister happy whats the problem? Its not your house and you aren't paying for him to live there. If you were paying the bills then you would have a point. As it stands you are wasting your time worrying. Its up to your parents and your sister and its 16 she is old enough to do whatever she likes.

Tam_Lin

Forgive me, but could it be that you're envious that your sister seems to be getting an 'easier ride' with your parents and household stuff than you are? Angry at your parents for what seems like double standards? I'm 2 years older than my sister, like you and yours, and I'd've probably reacted the same way as you are. It's Older Sister Syndrome.

You're the one acting like an adult in terms of finance and housework, and they're not. Not your sister's fault, she's still at school, but the boyfriend behaves like that because your parents let him. Be grateful that he seems to have a good work ethic and doesn't hang around the house 24/7 watching TV. It's for them to sort out.

As for him not clearing up, throw him a teatowel and say 'I'll wash; you dry.'

TokochickUK

having been a young teenager myself lol when i had my first serious boyfriend I didnt WANT him to go home, and it was easier for my mum to let him stay, but she was happier knowing where we were and what we were doing then being on the street, or at his house with no real supervision. Hes not in trouble with the police, hes clean, makes your sister happy.

On another thought what does he do that he gets £500 per wk?? apprenticships dont pay half that much normally!! thats the whole point, they pay for your training and give you a "pocket money" almost! i want his job lol

Lillibet_2

Forgive me, but if you think at 16 & 18 and sharing a bed that they aren't doing anything sexual then.......:rotfl:

Scarlett1

BusinessStudent wrote: »

Thanks for your reply.

I do NOT pay rent as of yet, this is because I am in full time education and work part time - rather than paying rent, I help around the house a awful lot and pay for 80% of all my food. We have discussed paying rent when I go to uni or get a full time job next yeear.

Basicly my sisters boyfriend gets paid for his apprenticeship at £500 per week. He does NEITHER pay rent or help around the house.

I dont think any apprenticeship pays that, more like £50 per week, maybe he is bragging about money he doesnt really have and is totally skint especially if he is spoiling your sister, as long as your mum is ok with him staying there then thats the way it will be, 16 is the legal age for sex so they arent doing anything illegal, it just seems to me the guy is 'loved up' with your sister and wants to be with her all the time

If you are getting a raw deal at home then I think you should approach your mum about it