How to chase non r.s.v.p'rs

ladypike

Our R.S.V.P date is tomorrow, we still have 40 people on our guest list that we havnt heard from.

Im assuming that most of those people wont be coming as we are getting married abroad so people would need have needed to at least looked at booking travel or accommodation by now.

Im thinking a text or email so as not to put anyone on the spot.

I couldn't say what I would like to say to them;) So what would be the best way and wording to chase them up?

LEJC

Thats very sad for you that they possibly wont be attending,although I guess from your tone in the post not unexpected.....but I have to say without wishing to cause offence to your nearest and dearest...what a rude bunch they are...they could have at least wished you well etc even if they cant share your day.

I think perhaps the email thing would be a good route to take...perhaps suggesting that you appreciate that its a long way to travel but numbers do need to be finalised and you would really appreciate a response by return....if you get little response from that then I guess its safe to assume they are no show...

floss2

Do you really need to know tomorrow? Or can it wait until you have to confirm your venue numbers? You could say something like

"We are assuming that your RSVP has got lost in the post - please could you let us know by return if you are planning to join us for our celebration, so we can confirm numbers?"

74jax

When did you give them out? Have you not spoken to anyone since? They might have said something to you in passing and thought that was enough? I'm not saying it's right, but they may have thought they didn't need to reply in writing if they'd already mentioned it?

I personally won't be chasing RSVP's, if someone doesn't RSVP I'd take it as a no, but that's just me. I take an RSVP to be 'let me know if you can come', but we are just having a small wedding so am speaking to our guests all the time so don't expect a writen reply.

Idiophreak

Personally, I wrote an email/text to each person individually to make it seem more personal and then just said, "by the way, have you decided if you can make the wedding?" or something informal like that.

ladypike

Thanks Ladies, The std went out in July and invites the start of October as we wanted to give as much notice as possible due it being abroad. I didnt expect everyone to come as I know it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea but I would of liked them to let me know.

If it was only a handful of people then it wouldn't matter that they didnt let us know but 40 is quite a lot and would impact on the size of marquee, type of meal etc etc and financially, if 40 people dont go thats a hell of a lot of money that could go towards something else.

I do kind of feel now I shouldn't bother chasing them but it is possible they didnt even receive the invites so should give then the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks for your wording suggestions I will pen an email now and get spending the hundreds of pounds they have saved me;-)

Scotsbride

I just said that we needed to know for numbers for the food. Which was true. I put message on FB emailed and saw people and asked them face to face.

joho

Good luck with chasing people Ladypike. Over a year and a half since our RSVP date (and 14 months since we got married) we still haven't heard from some people we invited! We never received cards or congrats or apologies or anything.

People can be very rude.

I would chase everyone once but I would use a direct form of communication that they can't ignore or forget about. They can ignore emails and texts so the only way is a phone call. But at some point you have to just assume they are not coming and then cut them off from all other communication about the wedding.

Scotsbride

totally agree with the above post

74jax

joho wrote: »

Good luck with chasing people Ladypike. Over a year and a half since our RSVP date (and 14 months since we got married) we still haven't heard from some people we invited! We never received cards or congrats or apologies or anything.

People can be very rude.

I would chase everyone once but I would use a direct form of communication that they can't ignore or forget about. They can ignore emails and texts so the only way is a phone call. But at some point you have to just assume they are not coming and then cut them off from all other communication about the wedding.

I'm astounded by your post and really can't imagine how you must have felt.

That's absolutely unforgivable, they didn't even offer best wishes? Just blanked you from their lives? I really don't know what to say....

Golden_Anemone

I agree completely that it is intolerably rude but this happened to my brother who got married abroad this year and the awful thing is that 2 of the "no reply"s were from other siblings! :eek:

One of the 2 sent a hasty "good luck" e-mail on the day of the actual wedding but the other one has yet to get in touch.

I was lucky enough to be able to attend thank goodness and it was definitely their loss. :j