Baby Websites and Forums

PinkLipgloss

I fully realise this is not important in the grand scheme of things however I do feel the need to rant!

I have come across numerous instances of "oh look at me and my baby" on baby forums and it's just never ending!

One of the baby websites I like to look at (it is very informative!) published an article regarded bilingual children and their language development. I was very interested in this as my husband and I speak different languages and hope our son will become bilingual.

The article basically said that, to begin with, many bilingual children will often string words together a little later than their peers but that they will catch up before school and not to worry at all.

One woman responded saying what a relief it was to hear as her sons friends were all putting together short phrases whilst he was only saying the odd word here or there (in both languages).

All good so far - but then the "SUPER MUMS/TODDLERS" hijacked the thread :mad:

One mother was harping on about how her son was trilingual because she and husband had different first languages but spoke in a third language. Her darling little angel spoke BEFORE his monolingual peers and is in fact more advanced than them in all 3 languages.

It just went on and on and on with various others getting their bit in too. Why do some parents feel the need to do this?

It really puts me off visiting those otherwise informative websites!

Emmarillo

Unfortunately it doesn't stop at babyhood. My daughter has just started senior school and yesterday I bumped into one of the mums from Juniors who told me at length about how well her son is settling into his new school and is in top sets for everything. I didn't say anything but I know full well that he's in the same class as my daughter for everything (NO top sets at all).

Every single stage of parenthood seems to come with horrible competition. I've even heard my mum and her friends boasting about how many grandchildren they've got.

Its brilliant that your son will be bilingual, and when you look back in ten years you won't have a clue, without looking in your baby record book, when he was talking properly. Don't forget as well, that everyone's idea of reaching a milestone is different. My eldest was very late to master potty training, and my friend went on all the time about how early her daughter was, however she was always pooing in the corner of rooms and always came out of nursery with her wet pants in a bag. The truth is, our girls probably weren't that different, but as parents we perceived it differently.

Try not to let it bother you, just wonder what is lacking in peoples lives that they have to brag to strangers on a baby forum.

lilymay1

My neice and nephew are trilingual. Their mother is French, but speaks a whole host of langauges and the children (8 and 12) have been taught English, French and Italian.

My nephew has just started year 8 in school and from I gather he's doing very well. He is taking his French and Italian GCSE's at the end of this year so he can't be struggling too much!

Your child(ren) will have such a huge advantage growing up and does it really matter if someones 6 month old is fluent in 10 langauges and can run a marathon? No! They all end up the same!!

sassyblue

Why do they do it? Because they're joining in a discussion, giving their experiences to do with the article or just proud of their kids. :cool:

However, there are always some mums who are over competitive and want to outdo another mum, but to be honest it goes over my head - l'm happy with my lot and if l wanted mine to learn 3 languages l would learn them, but l don't.

The other side of the coin.... l saw my friends mum last Christmas and she was proudly telling me that my friends 5yo son was turning out to be very good at maths, when l saw my friend l said l'd heard he was doing well in maths and she said 'oh no was nanny boasting again?', which l thought a bit mean. Nanny was only proud and she wasn't being OTT, we were just having a conversation!

Don't let it put you off those websites PLG, just read the bits you want to and ignore what annoys you.

stiltwalker

I'm as proud as punch when I can boast about my children's new achievements - much as many of these mums are too no doubt. However every little thing is so huge for them and often comes much later than the 'norm' as they both have disabilities. I too find parenting sites really hard as I also found it very hard when a friends not quite 10 month old walked as my wonderful DD is now past 3 1/2 and just getting the hang of walking with the aid of a walker. I was discussing the DLA form which I need to fill in for DS with his nursery key worker this morning as I will be asking her to fill in the 'person who knows the child' bit and she got really quite irrate about the way that the form needs you to compare the child with other children of the same age in such a negative manner pointing out that all children follow their own path and do things when they are ready to and how unfair it is to be constantly comparing.

Do what I do and just try to look at the useful bits and blank out the competitive parenting - it's not useful or nice!

BAGGY

Parenting forums are great at making you feel crap.
You will always get one-upmanship from various posters. You'll get it at school and nursery and various clubs too. Every child is different. Dont lower youself and join the competition. Just smile and nod. Smile and nod........
(having said that I got great advice when expecting twins from one site.)