What to write?

jen007

So I've found my step brother on facebook.

I haven't seen or talked to him for maybe.... 13/14 years. His Mother emigrated to Canada and stopped all contact with his Father, my Mum's husband.

This was for good reason, and personally now I'm older I know she done the right thing.

DM's husband was an alcoholic and a nasty one at that. The last time I saw SB was the day after mum's husband violently attacked her in front of us all as children (I was 10/11) and punched my brother (13/14) in the face. My mum, brother and I all slept in the same bedroom that night.


My Mum never left him, and her husband only passed away last year through kidney and liver failure. I left the household after he began hitting me. Needless to say, my relationship with my DM suffered but we're back on track now that he's gone.

Thing is.... I know SB's Mum was told of the death but I don't know if he was. I wonder if he has any questions about his Dad and if I could answer these, although I realise that some of the answers may not be nice.


Do I write to him?
What on earth do I say?
Do I rose tint any answers?
Will he even remember me?!
We were close as kids and I miss him, even though I have no idea what he is like as a person now. (I hope he's not like his Dad).

Sally_A

How about a quick

"Hello, is that who I think it is, remember me?" Jen

That then gives him the chance to respond, without pressure.

gibson123

Sally_A wrote: »

How about a quick

"Hello, is that who I think it is, remember me?" Jen

That then gives him the chance to respond, without pressure.

Totally agree, I would keep it light but maybe a bit more personal

I would love to hear how you are doing

or

I think about you often and would like to know how you are.

Sambucus_Nigra

I found my half brother in Canada on face ache and just sent a message saying hi. Next year we are meeting up in New York.

Just send a 'hi, how are you?' And see what happens

meritaten

say hi, ask if he is 'Tom Smith and the same Tom Smith who had a Step sibling named 'Jane Jones' and if so you would like to 'catch up' with him.
next step is entirely down to him!