trying to help others become debt free

mrsspendalot

Since joining here, I have been on a mission to help other people I know become debt free. However, I don't seem to be getting anywhere! I think I am willing them on to have their lightbulb moments but so far it hasn't happened. I am trying to explain the perils of consolidation, the greatness of the snowball calculator etc. but each time I get 'that wouldn't work for me' or 'i have no spare money to do that though'. I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. One of the people I am talking about has had debt problems for years and currently has a court administration order against her for some old debts, which at the rate she pays will take 25yrs to repay. However, she has gone on to get more credit via her mum who takes out loans and store cards for her because she can't get credit. I am now starting to help her claim back her bank charges of £600. The other person is my brother, who just can't stop spending his overdraft up to and over the £1000 limit he has. I have told him to claim his charges back, as he must be owed a good couple of grand from lloyds tsb, but he hasn't done anything about it :mad:

Has anyone else had the difficulty of trying to help someone out while they are pre-lightbulb moment, and have they come round in the end? Is there any hope for the people I mention?

ilovegreatdanes

hi mrsspendalot,
you have my symps but afraid you cant force people to see their errors til they are ready even if you have been through the exact same thing and you have the perfect answer.i admire you for trying and all i can say is keep on with your good work and even if you get to one person,its a job well done.regards.xx

hannahsmummy1

ive made the error with both my parents & my brother- my brother doesnt want to know- he knows best! He is 22 and only has a store card, with burtons, he has a well paid full time job with the post office, but yet neglects to pay his bill off (he has no other debts at all and no outgoings! he even lives at mums rent free!) its now gotten to the stage where they are taking him to court because he hasnt paid! I tried to tell him that this would affect him for years to come because of his credit rating (what if he wanted to move in with his girlfriend etc) but to no avail. He is waiting for some compensation coming through after a pretty bad bike accident, but its taking its time, meanwhile he just thinks its not a big deal! My parents on the other hand had no debts at all apart from their mortatge (which they only had 8 k left to pay!) they then had loads of work done on their house, new kitchen, bathroom, one bedroom made bigger, new walls put up etc etc- this was due to a remortage- they paid their credit cards off & celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary by going to canada for 3 weeks- great! Until now! They are both maxed on their credit cards, (due to my brother stealing from them) they have 2 cards each- i said to them about getting another card, doing a bt and then pay the money off that- they didnt really understand the concept & so racked up money on the other card too instead of paying one of the cards off with it! Dad wants to get another remortage but i dont know how these things work- it was around 4 years ago that they did this so im not sure? But they wont listen when i try & tell them about debt- so ive given up trying!

immoral_angeluk

You can't help people that don't want to help themselves, believe me, I've tried!

pippo

"You are not your brothers keeper"

If you think aout about we have all had 'older or wiser' people telling us what we shoukd or shouldn't do but it may as well be "P..." in the wind until some one wants to know!!

I could personally write the weight watchers manual - but am currently at least3 stone over weight!!

At work I manage a huge budget really well - but...

Putting theory into practise is another game completely!

pippo

Oh dear - due to Dh plying me with drinks & having 'FAT FINGERS' not sure if last post was either gramatically or semantically correct, but I guess you got my drift!!!

hairyantelope

I've experienced the same thing and I know how frustrating it can be. I've especially found in relation to the banking claims, that some people are happy to listen, as long as you'll do EVERYTHING for them. I've just come back from a 300 mile round trip to help a friend in court (Lloyds TSB) and he didn't even get the court date right, so that was a wasted trip. He had no idea what his court argument was, or how to put it before the judge, and was completely reliant on me to do it for him. As it happened, he was in court today and Lloyds never turned up so he won be default, but he still didn';t know what he was going to do in court!!!

fatbelly

mrsspendalot wrote: »

One of the people I am talking about has had debt problems for years and currently has a court administration order against her for some old debts, which at the rate she pays will take 25yrs to repay.

Admin Orders don't come up very often here, probably because they have a max of 5k and most DFWs have debts above that figure.

However, your friend should be aware that the 'reasonable period' for repayment of an admin order is 3 years and that the order can be varied by application to the court to pay a certain number of pence in the pound so that the payments finish around the 3-year mark. This is sometimes called a composition order, sometimes a percentage order.

I have got orders of 7 pence in the pound without too much problem.

Might be best to keep quiet about the other newer debts though!

doitmyself

Hi mrs
DFW, debt-free wannabe, light-bulb moments, nice catchy little slogans but that's about all. I've said it before on another thread, debt-free, for most people is unrealistic.
Martin Lewis is a journalist who appeared on tv one day exclaiming the virtues of the credit card balance transfer, and then expanded on that slightly with so-called stoozing for example and one or two other fairly facile tricks of the trade that people couldn't figure out for themselves, but he's basically been shouting the same thing from your tv screen ever since, except those tricks of the trade are rapidly disappearing, as indeed he probably will now the economy's heading for the doodah.

Inflation's up, interest rates are going up next month, the credit cards have been cranking up interest rates and imposing all sorts of other charges and restrictions for some time recently and the banks will do the same when the dust finally settles on the charges claiming. In other words Martin's money saving party's over, for now at least.
Anyone owing money can forget about debt-free, - servicing the existing debt is gonna be hard enough as it gets more and more expensive in the weeks and months ahead, IMO.

I'm not surprised at all to hear about people who don't geddit or can't be bothered. Really, why should they? Saving money isn't exactly an exciting thing to do for (most) people. And personally I think some of the, er, DFW's are making some seemingly extraordinary sacrifices in their fanatical endeavours, and for very little benefit.
I mean, if you can buy a cake or a pair of socks for £1 in your supermarket of choice, why make them yourself for 90p?

Keep it up mrss, but I think you've got your work cut out there...

moriarty888

Have to agree with Doitmyself.... the economy is about to go POOP! Then all the people we've been trying to warn/help will get a short sharp shock. Everyone will have no choice but to face their debt, as they won't be able to take out anymore. People are already starting to default left right and centre. The banks won't lend any more, and people will have to pay it back, bit by bit by bit.
With a bit of luck some of the banks will get stung for irresponsible lending and some of us will get let off, as we did with bank charges.
At least the generation to follow us will have no choice but to live by their means. I wish Barclaycard had never given me my first credit card that's for sure, and I'd actually saved up for my first holiday instead of sticking it all on my credit card "coz that's what all my mates were doing!"

GirlRacer_2

Don't feel bad about not being able to help people who haven't had their lightbulb moment - they'll be sorry in time.

Look on the positive side - there are loads and loads of people of here who have benefited from your help. The support that is given on here is fantastic and feel proud to be a part of it. x