Opinions wanted on poem for hamper

kingfisherblue

My friend has had a difficult year. Her teenage son was diagnosed with testicular cancer around January or February, but is doing well. We always exchange presents at Christmas, and this year I decided to make her a pamper hamper. As well as bubble bath and other smellies, I have included a book, candle, pumice stone and foot brush, incense sticks. I've also written a cheesy poem that I hope she will enjoy. Any opinions welcome.

I know this poem is cheesy -
You'll recognise from the start,
But the emotions in it
Come right from my heart

It's been a tough year for you, Sue,
And for your family,
But I hope that 2012
Will finish happily

I wish you all good health
With lots of luck and cheer,
Hoping that the next twelve months
Will be a happy year

But first your Christmas gift,
A basket you will see,
Filled with mini presents
To pamper you, from me

Things may seem to be unrelated,
A mish-mash you may think,
But chilling out and relaxing
Is the missing link

A book I hope you will enjoy
In a bath filled up with bubbles,
As you relax by candlelight
And forget about all your troubles

Some foot cream and a pumice stone -
Spend time to look after yourself.
Hand cream, sponge and body lotion,
But not from Santa's elf

For I have chosen everything
In this pamper hamper for you,
Chosen with love and care,
For my very dear friend Sue.

springdreams

kingfisherblue wrote: »

My friend has had a difficult year. Her teenage son was diagnosed with testicular cancer around January or February, but is doing well. We always exchange presents at Christmas, and this year I decided to make her a pamper hamper. As well as bubble bath and other smellies, I have included a book, candle, pumice stone and foot brush, incense sticks. I've also written a cheesy poem that I hope she will enjoy. Any opinions welcome.

I know this poem is cheesy -
You'll recognise from the start,
But the emotions in it
Come right from my heart

It's been a tough year for you, Sue,
And for your family,
But I hope that 2012
Will finish happily

I wish you all good health
With lots of luck and cheer,
Hoping that the next twelve months
Will be a happy year

But first your Christmas gift,
A basket you will see,
Filled with mini presents
To pamper you, from me

Things may seem to be unrelated,
A mish-mash you may think,
But chilling out and relaxing
Is the missing link

A book I hope you will enjoy
In a bath filled up with bubbles,
As you relax by candlelight
And forget about all your troubles

Some foot cream and a pumice stone -
Spend time to look after yourself.
Hand cream, sponge and body lotion,
But not from Santa's elf

For I have chosen everything
In this pamper hamper for you,
Chosen with love and care,
For my very dear friend Sue.

It is a lovely poem, and very personal too. Well done :T

bexie79

I think its lovely and not cheesy at all

Lola23

That was a really nice poem....your friend will be touched.

moneysavingmumofone

A lovely poem, it will be much appreciated Im sure. x

kingfisherblue

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. I don't tend to write many poems, although I often make up silly rhymes with my kids. Sue doesn't usually read poetry either, so I didn't know how suitable it would be. I'm not entirely happy with the seventh verse either, as it doesn't seem to flow as easily as the rest, but hopefully Sue will see that I do care, and that I think of her as a good friend.

MrsC....tobe

Brilliant - wish I had a friend like you! You sound like you have been a complete rock to her and just from reading that, I also hope that the year ends happily for her and that 2013 is a much better year.

kingfisherblue

Sue is the rock. Without her, I wouldn't have managed to finish university and get my degree. She collected my kids from school every week for two years whilst I was at university (I had already studied part time for three years and in laws helped out, the last two years were also part time, to top up from a foundation degree to an Honours, but MIL had worsening health problems). One of my children in a wheelchair user, and she battled with kerbs and with cars parked on pavements, no matter what the weather.

Her son is on the mend now, but it is an important reminder for young men to check their bits and pieces. Sue has coped so well.

andymandy

That poem is lovely I am sure anyone would be thrilled to have a thoughtfull friend like you.

themull1

i think its awful, sorry, you did ask.

kingfisherblue

themull1 wrote: »

i think its awful, sorry, you did ask.

I did ask, and I've not taken offence. It isn't something I would choose to read (I don't read much poetry anyway, never been a fan of it to be honest). If you have any suggestions to improve it, I'm happy for you to tell me