The term housewife!

oldtractor

I used to think it derogatory 20 odd years go when I was a SAHM with young children. This comes of having been indoctrinated by having been schooled at an all girls grammar.
Nowadays I'm still a SAHM with adult children but now revel in the term and am proud to tell people that I am a housewife.
I didnt fall for the big house/mortgage/wage slave/tax paying lifestyle I chose to look after my children and home and am very pleased that I did [and still do!]

Emmala

I don't mind housewife, that's what I am after all, though the amount of grief I get from friends and their partners annoys me a bit......to be perfectly honest, I think that comes from jealousy that my husband earns enough for me to have stayed at home. My youngest has just started school full time, so up until recently I would probably described myself as a stay at home mum, which is less of the case now all three are at school all day!
JackieO, your story sums things up just right! My husband and I are a team.....he is away alot with an erratic work pattern (he's a sales director and travels alot both here and abroad) and me not working (I'm a teacher) means that the children have a 'constant'....it means that one of us can get to the assemblies/sports days/parents evenings, and also, that they can go to cubs/brownies/swimming/rugby etc because mum's taxi is always available! As and when I go back to work in a few years, it will have to 'fit in'.....what's the point of working if I have to say to the kids they have to give up thier activities because no-one will be home in time to take them????
I know I am fiancially fortunate to be at home, but as much as my career minded friends find it hard to believe, I love it! I wouldn't have missed those early years at home with my kids for anything. The funny thing is my mother-in-law thinks I'm a bad mother because I don't work!!!! I don't understand that at all.
Funnily enough, last night my DH asked if I fancied going back to work so he could be a house husband........oh yes, I said, bet you love that idea now that none of them are in nappies or need entertaining all day!!!!!

lilmisskitkat

I am proud to be a housewife and make a point of saying so to anyone who makes a negative comment about it. I do what i do best and hubby does what he does best and it works for us. I wouldn't want to go out to work anymore than he would want to stay at home and do what i do so it suits us and our family. I plan on being a housewife even after my youngest starts school unless finances demand that i work.

I like the term Homemaker too

K xx

ragz_2

I am a housewife, doesn't bother me at all. But then I am not a feminist and I quite like my traditional gender roles thank you! (I'm 27 )

However, I am also keen to spread my wings and get a career once children are all at school and older, so I guess I will have the best of both worlds.

lilmisskitkat

rae18 wrote: »

My husband and I are a team.....he is away alot with an erratic work pattern (he's a sales director and travels alot both here and abroad) and me not working (I'm a teacher) means that the children have a 'constant'....it means that one of us can get to the assemblies/sports days/parents evenings, and also, that they can go to cubs/brownies/swimming/rugby etc because mum's taxi is always available!

The funny thing is my mother-in-law thinks I'm a bad mother because I don't work!!!! I don't understand that at all.

I could have written both those statements! Hubby's job is unpredictable too, flexible hours and travelling so it makes sense for me to be at home. And the less said about the 'out-law's' opinion the better :rotfl:

K xx

LameWolf

Judi wrote: »

When i am asked i always say 'i'm just a housewife' in a sort of apologetic term. I wish i felt more valued in my role.

I think that's the thing - so many of us feel we have to apologise to the world because we don't do a paid job; and there are, lets be honest, a fair few folks who see it as some sort of "easy option".

I have a husband but no kids, and only reluctantly became a "housewife" through illness and disability.

I don't personally see the term "housewife" as derogatory as such; but it always puts me in mind of those 1950s images of the woman in the hairstyle and fashions of the 50s wielding an ancient, heavy upright vacuum cleaner, iyswim.

Since we've become a host family for a dog care service, if anyone asks what I do, I say I'm a dog-sitter.:rotfl:

ETA This is probably subject matter for a whole thread of its own, but I have on many occasions been thoroughly vilified for choosing not to have children, but as lostinrates points out, not all housewives are mothers.

Emmala

LameWolf wrote: »

I think that's the thing - so many of us feel we have to apologise to the world because we don't do a paid job; and there are, lets be honest, a fair few folks who see it as some sort of "easy option".

I think this is an excellent point.....many people seem to think that it's only through paid emplyment that you become 'worthy'. BUT, because I don't work I have time to be the chair of our local pre-school, volunteer in both the schools our children attend, be a school governor and help my elderly parents. If I was working too I wouldn't have time to do all those things as well. Plenty of people who don't work (for whatever reason) are keeping communities going because they do unpaid work.....often without a thank you. The trouble today is that people want things to happen (like Cubs) but aren't prepared to give any time to make them happen.

My in laws think I 'sponge' from my husband as he has a well paid job.....what they fail to see is that he can DO his well paid job BECAUSE I'm at home running the house/kids!!!!! And, up until I had our eldest, I earned MORE than him and put more into the 'pot'!!!! As far as we're concerned, we're a team.....things aren't always split 50/50 in terms of housework, income, ironing (I wish!!!)........but our relationship and commitment to making our lives work in a way that works for us and the children is a 50/50 effort.

My in laws are coming for a long weekend on Thurs.....I'm hoping the snow that's been mentioned comes before then so they can't get here.......:rotfl:

sweetpea26

Pray for snow everyone :)

They sound a nightmare rae18. Smile and be the perfect housewife...that will confuse them. Maybe your mother-in-law is jealous of you. Did she have to work when her kids were small?

I look after my mil a few afternoons a week and my husband really appreciates this. She is not that nice to me sometimes but I have had to learn to live with it otherwise it can eat you up. As you say we are a partnership and we all do what we have to do to keep the family running as smooth as possible.

Ah MIL's that's another thread completely :)

snowleopard61

I was very happy to be called a housewife when I was one, and was certainly very happy to be one. Circumstances dictated that I went back to paid work when I split up with my then husband - we had lived in tied accommodation which went with his job - but I did wonder what I'd otherwise have called myself once I'd ceased to be a wife. Still a housewife, I suspect; afraid I really can't bear the term homemaker as it's so American.

Lostinrates raises a very interesting point; it's extremely rare nowadays to find a married woman who stays at home who doesn't have children, and most people even seem to see the staying at home with the children as a temporary thing. I'd never intended to go back to work once I'd stopped to have the children, but I'm not sure if I'd have had the courage to face the criticism if I'd chosen to stay at home without having children, although I'd have been perfectly happy and never bored.

BTW I'm a graduate, decent degree from a decent university, but have never been at all career-orientated - never really seen the link between academic ability and interest or ambition in the workplace; to me it's literally no more than a means of paying the bills.

VJsmum

I work part time - 2 1/2 days a week I am an academic and 4 1/2 days a week a housewife. if someone asks me what I do I say I am a part time lecturer - yet most of my time is as a part time housewife!

Being a lecturer is excellent as I have always had a lot of flexibility - I have rarely missed a sports day, christmas or easter services or celebrations and so forth. If the children were ill I could work at home as long as I wasn't actually teaching and then, mostly, OH could step in. I have had no more than half a dozen cancelled lectures in 16 years of teaching.

I think the problem might be the "just a housewife" label rather than a proud "housewife", don't like "homemaker" - Domestic engineer, anyone?:D