Withholding ashes over payment.

Random_Bloke

My sisters partner of 4 years recently died. The total funeral costs are £2600. She and her partner were not married but do have a young child together. He died a few weeks after his son was born about 6 weeks ago.

The problem comes in that his parents are the people who legally signed for the funeral and as of now havent paid a penny for it and are refusing to. As a result my sister has been told she cannot have his ashes until payment in full is recieved. She doesnt have this kind of money, she is a single mum.

He got backpaid some disability for his lat days but his father, who he had not seen for years managed to get this transferred into his bank as he is next of kin and so this couldnt be used for the funeral. A fund raising event was held to pay for the funeral but his parents have also taken this money.

Can a funeral home withhold ashes until they have recieved payment and if his parents have no interest of paying can my sister get the ashes without paying the funeral costs?

mountainofdebt

Gosh as if your sister needed kick whilst she's on the floor

hardpressed

Did his father get the money transfered from his son's bank account after he died? I think the account should have been frozen and then the funeral should have been paid out of that. Perhaps if you post this on the CAB board someone there might be able to give you advice.
Just a thought is his father next of kin if he has a child, wouldn't the child come first in the inheritance line?

Fire_Fox

Your sister needs legal advice. The estate should have paid for the funeral, the bank should not have released the money to the father without a will or other documentation. They certainly should not have taken donations, there has to be some sort of fraud or deception that can be claimed.

Isn't the baby son the next of kin not the father? AFAIK the ashes should go to the next of kin, which is not your sister unless a will specified this?

Mojisola

hardpressed wrote: »

Just a thought is his father next of kin if he has a child, wouldn't the child come first in the inheritance line?

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Isn't the baby son the next of kin not the father? AFAIK the ashes should go to the next of kin, which is not your sister unless a will specified this?

Definitely! His father has basically stolen the money. Contact the bank.

What a nasty pair his parents are! I'd also be making sure the people who contributed to the fund for his funeral knew that the parents had taken the money for themselves.

Mojisola

Random_Bloke wrote: »

Can a funeral home withhold ashes until they have recieved payment and if his parents have no interest of paying can my sister get the ashes without paying the funeral costs?

In answer to this, yes they can. If the parents signed the contract with the funeral directors, the firm will pursue them. They usually deal sensitively with relatives - in this case, I would make sure the firm knows that the parents have had two lots of money and are in the "won't pay" camp rather than "struggling to pay".

There won't be any help from anywhere else because the DWP's Funeral Payment is a last resort payment - if there is anyone else who can pay or any money belonging to the deceased, the DWP won't pay out - https://www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/specialist-guides/technical-guidance/sb16-a-guide-to-the-social/funeral-payments/

[Deleted User]

Random_Bloke wrote: »

A fund raising event was held to pay for the funeral but his parents have also taken this money.

Report this to the police, as obtaining money by deception and/or misappropriation of money.

ETA: Why didn't the person organising the event, pay the money to the funeral directors :huh:

NAR

Random_Bloke wrote: »

She and her partner were not married but do have a young child together.

Is the partner named on the Birth Certificate as the father? That should be sufficient proof to show that the child is next of kin. Either give parents last chance to hand money over or go to police as advised above.

Random_Bloke

Thank you for your messages and the help you have given. Thankfully another relative has stepped in and paid the funeral bill in full.

On the issue of the money we will be looking into this as like you both me and my sister believe any monies left should have gone to his child.

Thanks again.

RAS

Random_Bloke wrote: »

He got backpaid some disability for his lat days but his father, who he had not seen for years managed to get this transferred into his bank as he is next of kin and so this couldnt be used for the funeral.

Sister needs to write to the bank and advise them that the father was not next of kin. Send a copy of the child's birth certificate as proof that the child is next of kin and in the absence of a will is the only inheritor (unless the deceased had other children).

She needs to do this very quickly (like today)

They need to reimburse the deceased's account immediately and pursue dad for the return of the fraudulently withdrawn money. The bank can then pay the funeral costs straight to the funeral provider. The rest of the money goes to pay any other debts or to the child.

Random_Bloke wrote: »

A fund raising event was held to pay for the funeral but his parents have also taken this money.

This is straight fraud and the only place to go is the police.