gambling debt help needed my story

mynameisjoe

Hi all, seeking some help here as i have messed up big time and don’t know what to do….
Here is my story, im 27 years old and im a betting shop manager who earns 17k per year. I have had a gambling problem (online casinos & poker) for the last 5 years which has now caused me to get into a serious debt. 2 years ago i admitted this to my parents after losing my whole wage & a payday loan before i even paid any bills. They bailed me out and i set up a standing order to pay them back monthly, I stopped gambling on everything except poker which I tried to control. Then last year I started gambling again on roulette and lost £6000 within a few days , overdraft, credit cards, payday loans you name it I had it maxed out, I knew after I done it that I couldn’t afford to pay back the payday loans and pay bills, I kept it quiet this time from my parents and confided in my partner who helped me pay back the payday loans and told me if it happened again I was putting our relationship in jeopardy. I swore I would sort myself out and stopped everything again except the odd game of online poker. 6 months ago I managed to get a consolidation loan of 10k over 5 years as the overdraft & credit card bills were crippling me, I paid all my debt off with this loan, cancelled overdraft & credit cards & everything was perfect, finally had some spare cash aside each month even managed to start a savings account for the first time.
UNTIL 3 weeks ago, I won a poker tournament, played a few spins of roulette and won £3000. This triggered my gambling off again I ended up losing it all plus a £4000 overdraft & £2000 of payday loans & my savings of £1000, I panicked and phoned the bank and got a £7000 loan to cover it, I paid off the payday loans but ended up losing the £5000 for the od on roulette and poker.
I feel sick , terrible, ashamed, embarrassed and don’t know what im going to do, I cant tell my partner or parents. Bank wont give me another penny (don’t blame them) I basically now have £21000 of debt which i cant afford , the overdraft charge alone is £3 per day! I don’t know why I done this, I have self excluded from everywhere possible online and installed gamblock. I WILL NOT GAMBLE AGAIN!!!

Thanks for reading, I know it was a lot but I just wanted to get it out. I hope I can get over this debt and don’t end up losing my family... any help/views/ideas would be very grateful..
Thanks again.

sistafromanothermista

Firstly you need to get help for your gambling addiction. You cannot do this alone.
Are you getting any professional help for this right now?

rising_from_the_ashes

Hi Joe, please don't feel ashamed .... we all have our vices (believe me!)

I can't advise on gambling at all I'm afraid but I have seen a support thread on the diaries board and sure there will be loads of support on there:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1090463

Sure others will be along shortly who can help - best of luck

mynameisjoe

sistafromanothermista wrote: »

Firstly you need to get help for your gambling addiction. You cannot do this alone.
Are you getting any professional help for this right now?

no professional help as such, i dont think my work would be too happy if they found out i was attending gamblers anonymous meetings, plus i know it may sound ungrateful but i really cant imagine myself being at one. Im going to do it this time cold turkey , no poker no nothing! will power!

sistafromanothermista

mynameisjoe wrote: »

no professional help as such, i dont think my work would be too happy if they found out i was attending gamblers anonymous meetings, plus i know it may sound ungrateful but i really cant imagine myself being at one. Im going to do it this time cold turkey , no poker no nothing! will power!

That is called DENIAL and until you realise you have a problem you cannot even begin this journey.....

Heffi1

Joe,

You are addicted to gambling the same way an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol.

You must NEVER gamble again not even once for the REST OF YOUR LIFE can you do this alone, if not then you need professional help.

The sooner you realise you are not in control the sooner you can get out of this mess.

Go to gamblers anonymous and get the help you need, you cannot do this alone. If you don't believe me, then read your opening post and tell me how many times you have said you have given up, apart from the poker. How many times have you made a mistake and gambled again and then lost the lot plus a lot more.

Click this link today and read it!

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

On the front page in case you do not click it.
1. Have you tried to stop gambling many times before
2. Are you worried about facing up to your problem
3. Are you scared to tell loved ones
4. Do you feel you have no one to talk to

If you answered yes to any of these questions then you seriously need help right now to get you through this and offer some support to you.

LadyV2508

Your story reminds me of my brother in law....he was in a similar position as yourself and £20,000 in debt due to a gambling addiction. He refused to seek any professional help or go to meetings as they "werent his sort of people". He believed he could do it on his own and go "cold turkey".

Five years on he is now in £100,000 of debt and cannot afford to pay his bills or his mortgage.

You have to deal with your gambling problem first and foremost - please seek professional help and get the support of others who are in a similar position. There are some excellent people out there who can help you if you let them - and it can all be done discreetly.


Good luck to you.

pauletruth

sorry to say but you have gambling problem and the last place you should be working is in a bookies i doubt they will want you there when they find out. you pose a security risk.

unless you resolve this and any other under lying problems your future is black.

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/index.php/live-operator
please give them a call.

mynameisjoe

i know what your saying is right, i will give them a call and try build up the courage to go to a meeting. Its the financial mess im in just now that i dont know how to get out of..

Heffi1

I am sure there will be people there at the meetings who will be able to advise you about the debt side of things, it will not be new to them, I am sure there are people there Joe who you would never guess had a gambling problem, but the beauty of it is everyone of you is there because you need help. Once the issues around why you gamble are taken care of, you can then tackle the debt, it isn't going anywhere, and hopefully you will be in a better frame of mind to deal with it.

We are here to offer support, but I do think you need to speak to people who know more about this type of addiction.

We can advise on the money side of things once you are on the road to recovery.

mynameisjoe

pauletruth wrote: »

sorry to say but you have gambling problem and the last place you should be working is in a bookies i doubt they will want you there when they find out. you pose a security risk.

I would never steal from loved ones or from work to gamble, i dont feel the need to gamble like compulsive everyday cant stop thinking about it kind , i hate it! The problem starts if i lose money il continue to chase it, not because i like it. Its hard to describe... When im in work i dont even think about placing a bet, its when im at home at night on the laptop at 1am and decide to have a flutter on roulette with £20 which turns into much more