How to have good neighour contacts ?

nick2011

Hello all,
I am first time buyer hoping to move to our new property in mid Dec. When we rented we didn’t have much integrations with our neighbors as we tends to move often and away most of the weekend so we hardly had time for those.



Now with this new buy we intended stay at home most of the weekends and get on with local community and especially with our neighbors and would anybody have suggestions please . I mean do we need to introduce ourselves to immediate neighbors ? or do we invite them for a coffee?

Any thoughts would really appreciate

MelaBella

nick2011 wrote: »

Hello all,
I am first time buyer hoping to move to our new property in mid Dec. When we rented we didn’t have much integrations with our neighbors as we tends to move often and away most of the weekend so we hardly had time for those.



Now with this new buy we intended stay at home most of the weekends and get on with local community and especially with our neighbors and would anybody have suggestions please . I mean do we need to introduce ourselves to immediate neighbors ? or do we invite them for a coffee?

Any thoughts would really appreciate

Yes, the good idea is to knock on the door of the immediate neighbours jus to say hi and introduce yourself, depending on the situation of course but I wouldnt invite them for coffee straight away. Later on in the process if you see them being friendly you can always do that.

Werdnal

I would just say to settle in, introduce yourself to your neighbours over the fence or when putting out the bins and see how it goes. Ask them a little about themselves - how long lived there, any family/children, what area is like etc, but keep it subtle so you don't come across as too "needy" or looking like you are billy-no-mates desperate for a circle of friends!

Some neighbourhoods are a bit "clicky" and might not accept you into the fold immediately. The previous occupants could have left a lasting impression on them (good or bad) and you might be slightly "tainted" by that for a while, so just concentrate on a little friendly chat - don't rush in, inviting people for coffee, holding full street BBq's or setting up a residents social group too soon - some people may not be so keen to socialise as you are. Just be yourselves as you would when wanting to start a friendly relationship in any other walk of life.

If you go in too heavy too quickly, you might just drive away the very people you are trying to befriend, or have them whispering amongst themselves that you are the "life and soul of the party" and trying too hard to get on with everyone!

LEJC

I guess it depends how comfortable you are with knocking on the door of someone you dont know....you could always wait untui you see someone leaving or entering and pop out and say hi and take the conversation from there...

It is diificult to intergrate with neighbours,some people just dont seem interested to stop and chat....dont feel disheartened if the most you get from your neighbours is a polite hello as you pass on the drive,or go up the path...some people just dont want any more than that.

nick2011

Many thanks MelaBella. Will do that.
[FONT=&quot]I think it will be most important and when we spoke to current owners they mentioned that they have good community spirit and they had Jubillee lunch celebrations as well .So I suppose we do need to talk to many people but I feel bit apprehensive how people might react. Naturally we both are not chatty people but we do help and do voluntary work occasionally AND like to get on with people and be part of active community where we can contribute for the community[/FONT][FONT=&quot].[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]

MelaBella

Yeah it all depends on the neighbours..i was renting in one purpose built modern block some time ago and we had a few flats along the corridor, tpeople living in the building were mostly bankers and laywers (bacuse of the location) and they were the most unfriendly peopel I ever met, they wouldnt even say hi when we took the lift togather and when iwas trying to chat with 1-2 people in the lift they seem a bit reluctant to talk...

aileth

Agree with all above, but I have to say that no matter how nice you can be to neighbours, some of them just tend to hate the world and everyone in it, and I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about those sorts! Good luck though!

Werdnal

Well, if there is already a good community spirit, no doubt the existing neighbours will be introducing themselves to you, rather than the other way around! No one can give you a script or a set process on how to integrate yourself into the neighbourhood, so you have to play it by ear really!

Just be friendly, chatty and learn the communal "ropes" as you go, rather than trying to second guess what may or may not happen!

DaftyDuck

Easy... Christmas is coming. Drop a Christmas card into the neighbors, invite them round for a mince pie & a drink "sometime nearer Christmas", with a friendly "hope we can meet you there". With any luck, an ice-breaker like that will get you talking & chatting over the fence and on the doorstep. Since you haven't actually put a clear date or time on the card, you can always forget about it in the rush to get everything done - if they turn out to be horrible.

Frankly, I wouldn't put a phone number on, in case they are ... well... They know where you live, anyway! However, stick your first names on loud and clear. Much easier to start a conversation with new arrivals when you know their names.

nick2011

[FONT=&quot]Well may thanks indeed for all of your prompt inputs and it certainly gave me a wider view of picture and the role we have to play.[/FONT]

V_Chic_Chick

When I moved into my current house, a few of us went round and introduced ourselves to our immediate neighbours, and invited them to our house warming party.

We get on quite well now, and I happen to move in the same social circles as one of them (we're students) which helps.