Homeless and Out of A Job

pdarc

Hi All:
I hope someone can please help with some advice, and apologise for a rather intense situation but I need help.
I have a good friend who is a British Citizen and has worked and lived most of his life here in the UK.
He met a girl here in the UK and started a family, they then decided to move to another country as that's where the wife's family is.
Unfortunately, the relationship has broken down after many years and he is returning to the UK alone until he can figure out what to do.
Ordinarily I would let him stay at my place, but I have a young family and as much as I care about my friend he is unstable, very paranoid and has attempted to harm himself, I travel for work a lot and I can't have him at my place with my little baby. I have asked him to see a doctor but he refuses. We have given him money to try and get him our of his situation and on a job but we can't afford to give any more.
He now has no funds, no job, and no family (other than the one he is leaving).
He called me yesterday and said he is coming, I have no idea what to do.
Self Harm Issue - I wish he would go to the Doctor and get help, but he won't, and I don't believe he is in imminent danger of self harm so long as he has a plan to focus upon. If he was in immediate danger I would call 999.
Homelessness - I can't have him at my place, I can probably afford to give him some more money but would the council give a single male housing? He has a pride issue and would not admit he has issues to the council so I don't think he would get priority.
Job - He isn't interested in going to the Job Centre, he s such a clever guy but a total liability.

I have two questions:
What can I do to get him council accommodation as soon as possible before he gets here or the day he gets here?
How can I get help with his psychological issues. He won't see a doctor, he won;t admit he has an issue.

Mojisola

pdarc wrote: »

Self Harm Issue - I wish he would go to the Doctor and get help, but he won't, and I don't believe he is in imminent danger of self harm so long as he has a plan to focus upon. If he was in immediate danger I would call 999.
Homelessness - I can't have him at my place, I can probably afford to give him some more money but would the council give a single male housing? He has a pride issue and would not admit he has issues to the council so I don't think he would get priority.
Job - He isn't interested in going to the Job Centre, he s such a clever guy but a total liability.

I have two questions:
What can I do to get him council accommodation as soon as possible before he gets here or the day he gets here?
How can I get help with his psychological issues. He won't see a doctor, he won;t admit he has an issue.

There's a limit to what you can do if he won't help himself.

It would be worth contacting Shelter to ask about housing.

paddedjohn

Before he can access any benefits he may have to take a residency test.

Mojisola

pdarc wrote: »

Unfortunately, the relationship has broken down after many years and he is returning to the UK alone until he can figure out what to do.

paddedjohn wrote: »

Before he can access any benefits he may have to take a residency test.

As above, he can hardly expect to come back to the UK and immediately claim benefits and be given housing.

He should get to understand the reality before he comes back otherwise he could find himself on the streets or banging on your door wanting to stay with you.

Pippin12

IIRC to be housed by the council he has to be homeless or threatened with homelessness but also in priority need (because of a diagnosed health problem for example) and also have a 'local connection'. The latter means that he has a history of living in the area, has family/friends living there etc etc.

From what you've said he wouldn't satisfy all of this criteria. Even if he did he would probably have to go into a B&B whilst more permanent accomodation was found for him.

All things considered I think there's very little you can do to get him housing in the social sector that he can just step into on arrival.

sleepless_saver

To access government help e.g housing, benefits, he'll need to establish that he is habitually resident here, which won't be possible immediately. More info at link: http://www.housing-rights.info/habitual-residence-test.php

pdarc

Thanks all. I've never had to deal with any of this and hope I never will but for now I have some useful info I can go and research. Thanks again.

Mr_Pitiful

Pippin12 wrote: »

IIRC to be housed by the council he has to be homeless or threatened with homelessness but also in priority need (because of a diagnosed health problem for example) and also have a 'local connection'. The latter means that he has a history of living in the area, has family/friends living there etc etc.

For interim accommodation the initial tests are :

Homeless, threatened with homelessness within the next 28 days or unreasonable to continue to occupy. - If he still has the legal right to occupy his address abroad, he may not even be considered homeless.

Eligible - As said, would have to be considered to be habitually resident.

Priority need - The step that most single people stumble on.

Local connection comes after the interim duty and wouldn't be a problem in this case as if he doesn't have a local connection to any area, he can apply to any area.

earthbound_misfit

If he has MH problems this may qualify him as "priority need" for housing, although as has been pointed out it could be a very long wait for a flat (I was once told 20yrs when I was in this situation!)
But his problems would have to be diagnosed for the necessary proof. Might this push him to get treatment?
Do not give him money and do not let him stay if he cannot stay for long. (Because it will be much harder for you and much more upsetting for him to have to ask him to leave).
I know it sounds cruel but if he isn't willing to try and sort himself out - going to the jobcentre, seeing a doctor - then you will just wear yourself out trying to do it all for him.
You can certainly support him in doing these things, but he has to want to do it in the first place.

I have MH problems myself, actually made much worse by experiences at the hands of abusive professionals in a messed up MH system (several years ago in a different area), so I can understand his reluctance to get involved. I'm just mentioning this in case he's had these problems a long time and has sought help before, he might have good reason not to want to go back.
However, if this is the case, things have changed in MH care. Or at least in the guidelines of what they are supposed to treat, so it is easier to push for treatment. Also they have cut inpatient beds so don't admit people unless they absolutely have to (and one has to be in a REALLY bad way), so if he is scared of being 'locked up' he needn't worry.
Getting MH help would be an area where your support could really make a difference, as people can realy benefit from having an (unofficial) advocate - to stand up for them if they are ignored/dropped by services etc. This would be especially important if he's homeless.

Also it may sound silly, but the best thing you can do is be his friend. That doesn't mean putting him up if you have good reasons not to, and it doesn't mean giving him money/helping him if he won't help himself - it just means little thing like maybe cooking a meal, having a chat, catching up, having a giggle togther, the sort of thing you'd do with any friends.

PippaGirl_2

pdarc wrote: »

What can I do to get him council accommodation as soon as possible before he gets here or the day he gets here?
How can I get help with his psychological issues. He won't see a doctor, he won;t admit he has an issue.

It's virtually unheard of for councils to provide homeless people with council accommodation, they usually help them source either temporary accommodation, or private sector rented. The issue of his entitlement to HB would be the first hurdle, if entitled I would think the council would advise him wrt B&B accommodation in the first instance. Or perhaps a hostel or supported accommodation but they will advise.

As to finding him help, he needs to seek this for himself and unless you believe him to be in danger of harm really you cannot make him. Hard though to watch I am sure.

pdarc

earthbound_misfit wrote: »

Also it may sound silly, but the best thing you can do is be his friend. That doesn't mean putting him up if you have good reasons not to, and it doesn't mean giving him money/helping him if he won't help himself - it just means little thing like maybe cooking a meal, having a chat, catching up, having a giggle togther, the sort of thing you'd do with any friends.

This is really good advice. Thank you for responding.

He has been to the doctor before, and they medicated him rather than spending time with a professional talking through things. He says that the medication made him soft and someone else. He now refuses to see them again. Then about a year ago I was on business in another country and I got a call from him, it was really distressing as he was harming and I was so far away. I had to send my pregnant wife to convince him to go hospital. Doctors were concerned and told him to stay in, but he refused and left. He then left to live with his family abroad, and has just got worse over time.

I still don't know what to do when he arrives other than meeting up with him regularly and the other points you suggested, but I don't want him to live on the street. He also can't stay here at mine.