Getting married without the ceremony at the Registry Office?

JMC39

Hi,

My partner and I are planning on getting married, however being atheists we were planning on having our own unofficial vowels/ceremony at our own property and then just going to sign the official documentation the next day.

Having looked online, it would appear that we have to go through the process of having a formal ceremony in the registry office even if we don't want to? Is there anyway we can just turn up with witnesses and sign the relevant documentation?

Thanks

cats2012

Hi, I'm sure someone will have better info, but I'm fairly sure you have to actually have some vows etc to make it legal.

Torry_Quine

Yes you do have to say the vows before the registrar but there is no religious aspect to it all so it shouldn't be a problem for you as atheists.

podperson

Unfortunately you can't just show up. You have to give notice - I think it's about 3 weeks now - and then you have to make specific declarations in front of the registrar and your witnesses. There's genereally a 'basic' version with just the parts you need in order to make it official or you can add more personalised parts if you want to. There is no religious element to it though if that's what you're worried about.

t_obermory

The registry office is completely non religious, you can choose your vows which range from traditional to modern or I think you can have your own, however there's no religious element to them. You can't have religious readings or music either.

My husband and I are both atheists and were perfectly happy with the service.

You can just turn up in your jeans and just do the most basic ceremony (with witnesses) but you still have to book and meet with the registrar before hand.

ellay864

The minimum notice period is 16 days and there are certain things that you have to say in front of witnesses, who sign the register.
Normally the registrar will do a nce introduction etc to set the scene in a wedding ceremony but I guess you could ask them to keep it to a minimum. The legal bit is the declaration:
I declare that I know of no legal reason
why I, I]your full name[/I, may not be joined
in marriage to I]your partner's full name[/I.
and the contracting words:
I, I]your full name[/I, take you, I]your partner's full name[/I,
to be my wedded wife [or husband].
There are slight variations possible but that's the bascic minimum. You don't need to do any of the 'til death us do part' stuff - you can put your own wording in there and make it as flowing or basic as you want. In a register office wedding you're not allowed any religious music or reading anyway so you could have a ceremony with no religious content at all

continualdiamond

We had a registrar location wedding for the reason that we're not religious. We didn't want to have to go to them cos the venue for us we didn't like, so we chose our own licensed venue.

We were more than happy with the choice, you could choose your own vows from suggestions and circle them when you submitted the form or write your own. We had no readings or poems, nothing like that.

Pinzy

Some friends had a humanist wedding at some local grounds, then nipped up to Gretna for the legal 'ceremony'.

We're having ours at a licenced venue, and with registrars you do have to make sure there's no religion involved whatsoever, down to no lighting of candles during the ceremony and no Robbie Williams' "Angels" playing!

You will have to do the basic vows as the legal requirement, but if you pick the minimum wording you could still be in and out in little longer than half hour!

ladymarmalade

JMC39 wrote: »

Hi,

My partner and I are planning on getting married, however being atheists we were planning on having our own unofficial vowels/ceremony at our own property and then just going to sign the official documentation the next day.

Having looked online, it would appear that we have to go through the process of having a formal ceremony in the registry office even if we don't want to? Is there anyway we can just turn up with witnesses and sign the relevant documentation?

Thanks

Any service that doesn't take place in a place of worship, ie a registry office is ideal for people who don't believe in God because they are not allowed to mention anything to do with religion at all either in the service, the readings or the songs.

ellay864

Pinzy wrote: »

Some friends had a humanist wedding at some local grounds, then nipped up to Gretna for the legal 'ceremony'.

We're having ours at a licenced venue, and with registrars you do have to make sure there's no religion involved whatsoever, down to no lighting of candles during the ceremony and no Robbie Williams' "Angels" playing!

You will have to do the basic vows as the legal requirement, but if you pick the minimum wording you could still be in and out in little longer than half hour!

It does vary with different registrars. At our one not only would Robbie's Angels have been fine, but they'd done a wedding the week before and allowed Ave Maria. Some are realy strict, Chester must be one of the most relaxed. Not that it's an issue for OP but anyone else reading may want to check to see just how strict their own registrars will be

seashore22

Certain words (vows) have to be exchanged for the marriage to be legal. We wrote our own vows 28 years ago, but had to include certain passages from the official marriage service.

I'm afraid that you can't just turn up and sign a piece of paper.

Others are also right that there is no religious element to a registry office marriage service.