Atheist sending kids to a church school?

Mojisola

alinwales wrote: »

I was brought up christian, and went to church etc when I was a kid (not often though), but now I think I know better (in my own opinion... - everyone's allowed one).

I don't know how I would handle a situation if my son comes home from school with beliefs that I don't believe in.

In the same way that your parents let you find your own way, you have to do the same with your child and, if he decides to follow a religion, accept his choices.

hayleyc_2

I can identify with the OP because my husband and I are Athiests and our son has just started school. His school is CofE so probably less religious than some, but they have quite close links with the local church. My mum is always telling me that going to a CofE school was successful in turning me in to an athiest, so I shouldn't worry The only thing that makes me a bit uncomfortable is knowing how to answer my son's questions and comments. For example he said something the other day about Jesus dying on the cross, and then said about god making the world. I think I said it was a story, then he said his teacher thinks it's real.. wasn't really sure what to say to that because I don't want to undermine the teachers. Equally I want my kids to know the truth, rather than a bible story. My son is only 5, so it's also hard to know what's best to say for his level of understanding. If there had been an equally good non-religious school nearby I'd have sent him there.

thatlemming

Me and my brother got sent CofE all the way through school until we left for college (had no choice, only one school at each stage in the area, unless you wanted to travel 15+ miles each way) and we both came out strongly atheist.

EDIT: and to be honest, I don't ever remember my mum or dad saying anything against religion or that it wasn't true etc, they let us make up our own minds. Of course, me doing biology at uni and him doing physics, it was kinda clear that we'd never be religious.

steve-L

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

You could argue, however, that that's a reason to teach French, Spanish or Mandarin at primary age. Would seem to most people to be more useful than learning to speak Welsh.

It doesn't matter what the second language is.
Its developing the ability to learn a third and fourth that is important.

I also missed out at school and in later life had to learn a second, third and fourth language. Despite living in England I wouldn't mind my child being taught Welsh because later when they need to learn Mandarin or Spanish it will make it a lot easier.

Welshwoofs

Frith wrote: »

My sons went to a Church of England primary school. We are atheists but all the village schools locally are C of E. I would have had over a 12 mile drive to find a non-religious school.

That is the position in our town. There is one school for 5-11yrs and one secondary school. They are both CofE and if you wanted to make a moral stand and send your kid to a non religious school they'd be travelling over 10 miles to get to one.

There's an awful lot of rural towns and villages around where you basically have no choice but to go to a religious school, because that's all there is within a reasonable distance!

I'll hasten to add that I've never been a believer; used to be extremely obstructive in RE lessons and was never 'turned' by prayers and hymns in assembly (I'd stand there resolutely saying nothing whatsoever and getting glared at by teachers). I'm still an atheist...so any attempt at putting me on a religious path at school clearly failed.

steve-L

hayleyc wrote: »

The only thing that makes me a bit uncomfortable is knowing how to answer my son's questions and comments. For example he said something the other day about Jesus dying on the cross, and then said about god making the world. I think I said it was a story, then he said his teacher thinks it's real.. wasn't really sure what to say to that because I don't want to undermine the teachers. Equally I want my kids to know the truth, rather than a bible story. My son is only 5, so it's also hard to know what's best to say for his level of understanding. If there had been an equally good non-religious school nearby I'd have sent him there.

Exactly..... I don't mind them learning stories, be it about Jesus or Lord Krishna so long as they are stories.

What disturbs me is that I know a few Hindu's and Bhuddists very well and they always say "We believe" not "This is fact".

Interestingly the word a-theist was originally used against Jews and Christians (and Zoroastrians) by the 'pagan' (whatever that means) Romans to mean people who denied the existence of other people's gods.....

So when they get their compulsory 'other religions' presumably the teachers tell them 'this is just a story' vs 'this is what really happened'.

I guess exposing my kid to other influential figures who are non Christian might help.... ????

Gloomendoom

MX5huggy wrote: »

Go on do start......... Whats your thinking? Any 2 languages from early on seems to be generally a good idea. I wasted 5 years plugging away at French in secondary school to get an F, (abc's in everything else), because I started too late (11).

My nephew went to a Welsh language primary school. He struggled with the language and it held him back educationally and, to an extent, socially. He hated going to school.

He has since moved to Australia (with his family) where he is now taught in his native tongue. He is a changed boy. It is as if his intelligence has increased. As a consequence his self confidence and general outlook on life has improved immeasurably.

lobbyludd

Op - live in wales and had to chose between 2 very local schools - neither CofW (nor CofE - but then why would they be? lol) one is nearer and had better estyn (the welsh ofsted) reports so we applied for that and didn't get in despite being 65yards from the school gate - go figure.

they instead go to the other which is half a mile away and both jave thrived, it is a wonderful school, and in the meantime, my neighbours who do go to the "better" primary school have some worries about the new head-teacher and the changing ethos of the school (becoming more rigid). Our school is so lovely, just walking around it makes me happy and all the kids and teachers are great.

interestingly both are very religious, my son self-identifies as a christian, and constantly tells me what christians believe (I'm an atheist, but have been to religious schools and both methodist and baptist sunday schools). there was a time when all he seemed to learn was hymns, but I've supported him in this, because he gets to choose his own beliefs, but I'm clear about mine. the only difficulty we have had is that the school places a great emphasis on respecting all faiths but not on respecting those for whom faith has little meaning, and playground talk had got round to how non-believers would burn in hell (nice!) worrying my son about me. I brought it up with his teacher and a class discussion addressed it that day, with a school assembly the next week.

Try and work out the "feel" of the schools.

FYI - you talk about "feeder" schools - that isn't how it works in Wales, it's purely done on catchment, my daughter had no greater prioritisation to go to her current primary school even though she was in it's nursery, than other people in the catchment. both kids will go to a different secondary than most of their classmates because we are in a different catchment to the majority of them.

luxor4t

MX5huggy wrote: »

............. Any 2 languages from early on seems to be generally a good idea. I wasted 5 years plugging away at French in secondary school to get an F, (abc's in everything else), because I started too late (11).

I started French at 11 and gained 'B' at GCSE and a 'B' at 'A' level. I started German at 14 and gained a 'C' at GCSE. Scary, strict 'old fashioned' teachers seemed to be the key, as well as learning by heart.
I had to do Latin and Welsh as well aged 11- 13, so at one time I was learning 3 languages as well as English.

Good luck in your choice, OP.

JimmyTheWig

hayleyc wrote: »

The only thing that makes me a bit uncomfortable is knowing how to answer my son's questions and comments. For example he said something the other day about Jesus dying on the cross, and then said about god making the world. I think I said it was a story, then he said his teacher thinks it's real.. wasn't really sure what to say to that because I don't want to undermine the teachers. Equally I want my kids to know the truth, rather than a bible story. My son is only 5, so it's also hard to know what's best to say for his level of understanding.

I've always tried to say "Christians believe...", "scientists believe...", etc. Now our eldest is 8 I'm happier to have discussions about what I believe (which, as it happens, matches what the "scientists" believe).