Terrible Twos

mummytomoo&roo

I know there was a subject like this a while ago.

Having terrible trouble with my 2yo having temper tantrums. If anything they are getting worse (didn't think it was possible).

As soon as she wakes in the morning as soon as you ask her to do something she starts yelling and it's more or less constant til she goes to bed.

Have tried the naughty chair, shouting at her, smacking her hand.

Am consistant with punishment but it's not getting me anywhere.

It's really starting to get to me now. I can't take her anywhere without the shouting and tantrum.

Any advice?????

bluebell13

Hello. Its a really frustrating stage. When my son was doing this I was 7 months pregnant and at the end of my tether. DD is just at the start of this stage now.

How is she with talking? Is it frustration at not being able to express what she wants.DD is much better at talking than DS was and so far has not been anywhere near as bad.

Other than that just sympathy to offer!

Janepig

Never really had this problem with DD, the past four years have been really easy (she's saving it up for her teens!!!) but DS is 15 months now and has been having temper tantrums for the last few months. Not too difficult to control when he's small, but I'm dreading if this carries on as he grows.

I won't put up with any nonsense though - if he's lying on the floor having a tantrum then he gets ignored, and tonight he wouldn't eat his tea, he was spitting it out and throwing his spoon, so he had afew chances to eat then he got put in his playpen in the living room to calm down. Tried him again, he still wouldn't eat, so that was that. I didn't give him anything else to eat, it was just bath and bed. He was put to bed at 7.15 and hasn't stopped crying yet (overtired now) but he'll drop off soon I'm sure (crying is lessening).

Just as long as you are consistent, as you say you are, then you've just got to ride it out I think.

Jxx

Kantankrus_Mare

Ohhhhhh I really feel for you!!!

I went through this stage with both my kids and its draining and frustrating.

I found a book called "Taming toddlers" which was informative and funny at the same time. Had some great tips covering all the different subjects such as bedtime,eating,toilet training etc etc.

The best advice though was to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good, but you have to be really consistent with this.

Also I gave up shouting. kids turn off to it if you do it all the time. Save the raised voices for times when it really matters like if a child is going to run into a busy road!!

If its any consolation, my son who suffered the most with tantrums, seemed to carry on like this until he started full time school when he calmed down and it turned out he was really bright!! He's now a fourteen year old teenager and one of the most laid back kids Ive ever seen, doing well at school and loves playing his guitar sooooooo keep going and be consistent. I know it feels like it will be forever and their behaviour can drive you to distraction but remember its a phase. :rolleyes:

mummytomoo&roo

She talks ok and understands more than she says. She just doesnt like the word NO and is incredibly stubborn.

When she sits on the floor with legs out and arms folded I ignore her for as long as poss but depending on where we are I can't always just walk away and leave her.

She doesn't have buggy very often now but if we're out and she has tantrum she's straight in the buggy and at home if she's naughty she gets a warning and then is put in her highchair.

Sometimes she can be so sweet and tender but most of the time she's a little animal who tries to kick, bite and shout lots!

ickster

I have a 2 yr old too but he is not too bad...yet. I suppose you just need to keep reminding yourself:
1. It's not your fault
2. It won't last forever
3. Everybody understands (and sympathises)

I am reading a great book at mo ..."We need to talk about Kevin". Read that and I'm sure you'll realise your little one isn't actually that bad!
Good luck, it sounds as though you are doing everything right!
x

rainbowrisin

One of mine is going through this stage ATM - from angel child to monster virtually over night. I find with most things it's easier not to force the issue - like getting dressed is a nightmare if i ask straight out, so i tend to say something like "when you're dressed we're going to the park" (treat) and in the end the dressing isn't an issue as going to the park is more important.

I also find it's helpful to give choices - do u want the pink or the green top - so wearing a top is a given, but because there's a choice it's less of a power struggle. I get what i want (dressed child) and child gets what they want (choice).

Along with everyone else i say ignore the bad and praise the good, and as ever, with tantrums, never, ever give in.

It is wearing though - if there is piles of screaming i zone out, or switch some music on really loud for a minute or two...or say "you're nice", which always makes me laugh and stops me getting wound up.

Shouting and smacking do not work as children just blank it. Refusal to give attention to inappropriate behaviour makes far more of an impression.

Hope some of that is of use, best of luck and hopefully our monsters will be back to angels in a few months time.

Kantankrus_Mare

I also vaguely remember that toddlers tantrum to get attention and they don't care what that attention is

They start off wanting their own way, which of course they don't get and continue to turn up the tantrum until they get shouted at or smacked (ashamed of it now but I did both at various times in the heat of the moment)

The thing is, smacking or shouting is STILL attention and a toddler has got a responce out of you so the golden rule is ignore, ignore , IGNORE.

Morglin

It will pass - my youngest grandaughter is going through a phase of only wearing pink, which limits life a bit, as this includes all her underwear!

There are massive tantrums if my daughter tries to dress her in anything else - most 2 year olds are full of it, but they suddenly seem to calm down a bit after that.

The best bet is to just try and ignore her when she does it - she is only doing it for attention.

Lin