When to call it a day

blinkingbank!

Me and my OH live an hours drive away from each other have been together for 3 years when we get on we get on great when we 1st met it was like we had known each other for years and we make each other smile, but lately, well since the begining of the year we have been getting on ish but not great-we dont argue as such we disagree with most things and we had a massive heart to heart the other night which was emotional as hell where he told me he just wanted to look after/care for us (me n my kids) but not anything sexual, I told him my emotions had gone-not that i dont love him cos i do but like when he hugs me i get nothing, so we decided to split but now hes saying he didnt mean what he said and still wants us together.

but i think hes scared just incase i wont let him see the kids and that i may not move to his neck of the woods and on both counts I would and still am doing.

he is a massive rock in my life and whenever i need him hes there, hes my best friend and will always be in my life. I dont really know what I am asking really. Do you know when its time to part really ? thanx

bella4uk

From what you've written you've got a good thing going but things have just got a little bit boring and it just needs spicing up. Do you go out, without the kids and have some fun times. It's easy to fall into the comfort trap and get a bit lazy....suprise each other occasionally.....
Work at it.....we all seem to forget that we have to,,,that goes for the pair of you.
I would add more but just about to log off....wish you well x

erewyn

hi there,

im sorry to hear your situation, i think my first reaction is that you both care about each other a lot, and friends you will always be.

i think if he has said he doesnt want nothing sexual, then maybe he sees u more as a friend than lover? i dont want to upset you, sorry if this is harsh. you also have said u feel nothing when he hugs you. which maybe confirms that you too maybe love him as a friend more than a lover.

maybe you would both be happier as really good friends? you could both then get the chance to find love with other people.

E

Morglin

I think your life together as lovers/partners is at the end, but as a previous poster said, you can always be good mates.

Sometimes these things just end, and it's best to move on.

Lin

northern_star

It's sometimes difficult to know when something is 'over', and letting go of something comforting and familiar can be scary. I speak from experience having had a similar relationship that was allowed to continue for over 12 years :eek: It was safe and predictable but we were more 'mates' than partners. It was hard to finally let go but - as an earlier poster said - it gives you both the opportunity to find real love elsewhere. And happily this is what has happened.
Think carefully and all the best for the future.
NS

MUSLIMAH_MUMMY_TO_BE

I hope everything works out for you!! I think when you are in a relationship these things happen. But my advice to you is remember how you met and try and focus on the positive things!! He sounds like a lovely man and believe me if you find someone who is supportive and kind then you both should try and work it out. sometimes people just need a few moments to get things in perspective and when we are emotional we can sometimes say things that mean alot at the time but later we thing why did we say that.

Anyway thats just my views on the matter take care xxx

blinkingbank!

Thanks all for the advise-we havent talked proper since we had the h2h but OH said as the pressure is off-even tho there wasnt real pressure he wants to be with us more, I feel fine at the mo about it but maybe thats because we only see each other once a week so maybe I will feel different in a months time. Again thanx for all ur advise they have been great