Child being 'punished' for a choice I made

valk_scot

barbarawright wrote: »

Really? I swim at a club where all the kids can swim well (all better than me :rotfl:), some to a very high level (teenagers training for Channel relays). I've certainly heard it many times. What better way to explain breast-stroke movements?

I distinctly remember it from ante-natal aquafit classes too and thinking it hilarious. :rotfl:I certainly felt pretty froggy-like at eight months pregnant! I personally think of it as a fun way of adding in a bit of encouragement and I certainly didn't feel patronised. It's a lot better than what my school swimming coach used to shout at me when I was training for our school swimming team, lol! (I swam butterfly, there's a lot of scope for being patronising there. )

andygb

Lifeisbutadream wrote: »

I think its still going because there are a few that seem to be getting a thrill out of making me out to be a pushy, difficult parent. The comment about and the link to an old thread which has nothing to do with this one shows that !

The reality is that I asked for views, which I got a variety of, I still havent decided what to do, but that doesnt matter, because I dont have a time limit

It is a difficult position for you, but if you let your son attend the school swimming classes and also keep going to the club, then he is bound to become confused and stressed with the different coaching methods, particularly if two different methods of stroke production are being taught, with regard to breathing, leg kick and arm/hand movement.
It is a shame that the school is taking this line, because they should recognise children who take part in organised sport outside of school.

mikeykw

Hi Lifeisbutadream. We had a similar problem with our child, albeit not with swimming.
We were paying for additional lessons for our child and there was a difference and disagreement with what the school was saying and what the private tutor was saying (the private tutor was a specialist in her field and with the particular conditions we were managaing).

We arranged a meeting between us, the school and the private tutor and discussed the way forward. The school and the tutor now work in perfect harmony because at the end of the day it is what is best for the child and not about the adults pruning their feathers.

If you dont fight for your child - who will???

The Chair of Governors is unlikely to help you at this stage unless you have been through the proper procedures for raising an issue. Governors tend not to get too involved in the day to day management of a school unless all other avenues have not resolved the problem.

Hope this helps

Lifeisbutadream

duchy wrote: »

This thread is bonkers !

OP your child is not being "punished" he's getting asked to participate fully in a school activity if he wishes to represent his school.

You're coming across as a pushy parent who wants their child to be in everything regardless of whom they displace. I rather like the school's ethos that if you commit to their lessons and participate you get to represent the school and that "ringers" are not invited to participate. Gives a clear message that it's the taking part and not the winning that is the primary concern. Good for them !

Either it's a deal breaker and if you want your child to swim for his school that badly-you change his school OR you accept they have a policy that those who support the swimming programme are those who get selected for galas ....and they don't believe that in sport winning is everything !

Hardly rocket science is it

I would add that all your comments seem to be about what YOU want and little mention of what your son thinks or wants to do.

Only just seen this.

I find it a little worrying that some people see sport in this way

Competitive sport is about winning. Yes sport is fun and of course it should be seen in this way, but in the whole, its about winning. Can you imagine 2 teams playing football and not keeping score? and what is the point in an athlete running 200M without a reason for being the fastest?

Let me turn this around. Can you imagine if they started teaching Maths or English 'for fun'? dont worry about whether you get the answers right or not, and we wont bother moving on from addition and subtraction, we will just have fun doing it

There are loads of careers in sport, and to to them well you need to be the best that you can. You dont have to be olympic standard to have the drive to win and be the best at what you do.

I dont see at as being a pushy parent because I want the best for my kids. Would you say the same to someone who pushed for the best for their child in an academic subject?

balletshoes

Lifeisbutadream wrote: »

Only just seen this.

I find it a little worrying that some people see sport in this way

Competitive sport is about winning. Yes sport is fun and of course it should be seen in this way, but in the whole, its about winning. Can you imagine 2 teams playing football and not keeping score? and what is the point in an athlete running 200M without a reason for being the fastest?

Let me turn this around. Can you imagine if they started teaching Maths or English 'for fun'? dont worry about whether you get the answers right or not, and we wont bother moving on from addition and subtraction, we will just have fun doing it

There are loads of careers in sport, and to to them well you need to be the best that you can. You dont have to be olympic standard to have the drive to win and be the best at what you do.

I dont see at as being a pushy parent because I want the best for my kids. Would you say the same to someone who pushed for the best for their child in an academic subject?

but you don't "win" at maths or english, and its not a competition. Those subjects in school should be about helping a child attain the best level they can, while trying to do the same for every child in that class. Its a very difficult balancing act, even with children who are streamed into similar ability levels. And at primary school with non-streamed classes, all the kids do tend to stay on one subject until the majority have "got" it, before they move on to another subject in the syllabus.

Even more importantly with swimming - the point of school swimming lessons is to have as many of the children as possible swimming as confidently as possible. This doesn't mean doing speed trials if not all the children are confident swimmers yet.

OP your son is not going to get what you/he wants from your school swimming lessons with its current teacher and current set-up. If you've already made suggestions etc, I don't honestly think theres much more you can do, you're fighting a losing battle, and its not like your son doesn't get to swim, he does, its just you've chosen not to have him swim at or for the school.

barbarawright

It's competition in school sports that ensures 70% of school-leavers vow never to do any exercise again. There's plenty of ways to encourage keen children without making every class a race. The club I go to have plenty of fun relays and handicap races so it isn't just the same people who win every race and even the Channel swimmers enjoy this aspect of it where cups can be won by octogenarians against 30 year olds

Lifeisbutadream

balletshoes wrote: »

but you don't "win" at maths or english, and its not a competition. Those subjects in school should be about helping a child attain the best level they can, while trying to do the same for every child in that class. Its a very difficult balancing act, even with children who are streamed into similar ability levels. And at primary school with non-streamed classes, all the kids do tend to stay on one subject until the majority have "got" it, before they move on to another subject in the syllabus.

Even more importantly with swimming - the point of school swimming lessons is to have as many of the children as possible swimming as confidently as possible. This doesn't mean doing speed trials if not all the children are confident swimmers yet.

OP your son is not going to get what you/he wants from your school swimming lessons with its current teacher and current set-up. If you've already made suggestions etc, I don't honestly think theres much more you can do, you're fighting a losing battle, and its not like your son doesn't get to swim, he does, its just you've chosen not to have him swim at or for the school.

I agree with you! im not disagreeing, just making the point that if I were a 'pushy parent' in an academic subject then it wouldnt be seen as an issue, there just seems to be some tabboo about sport, where its sometimes seen as 'showing off' to be good at it !

I know I am fighting a losing battle with the school, TBH I gave up months ago, its only been brought up again because of the current situation. I was trying to help all kids not just my own, having helped at lessons for a long time there was a lot I would not be happy with as a parent of any of those kids. There is little point in going into detail about every little issue, but there were kids who were given 5 armbands at a time, kids were given armbands when they could swim but were struggling, rather than being encouraged in the shallow end, they were taught to climb out at the steps rather than the side (surely its a basic of learning to swim to be able to climb out unaided, there are no steps in a river or the sea if you fell in) I always got the impression the teacher didnt want to really be there and most certainly didnt like kids !

Lifeisbutadream

barbarawright wrote: »

It's competition in school sports that ensures 70% of school-leavers vow never to do any exercise again. There's plenty of ways to encourage keen children without making every class a race. The club I go to have plenty of fun relays and handicap races so it isn't just the same people who win every race and even the Channel swimmers enjoy this aspect of it where cups can be won by octogenarians against 30 year olds

70% of people do no excercise? where did you get your figures from? also where did you get that competition in schools has made this happen? those figures are shocking if true !

I didnt suggest for one minute that every class needs to be a race, read my post again.

Dunroamin

balletshoes wrote: »

but you don't "win" at maths or english, and its not a competition. Those subjects in school should be about helping a child attain the best level they can, while trying to do the same for every child in that class. Its a very difficult balancing act, even with children who are streamed into similar ability levels. And at primary school with non-streamed classes, all the kids do tend to stay on one subject until the majority have "got" it, before they move on to another subject in the syllabus.

Even more importantly with swimming - the point of school swimming lessons is to have as many of the children as possible swimming as confidently as possible. This doesn't mean doing speed trials if not all the children are confident swimmers yet.

Which highlights one of the wrongs of modern education!

(And also why the UK has such a low level of success in competitive sports as well.)

We really have to do something about this lowest common denominator attitude to education.

barbarawright

Lifeisbutadream wrote: »

70% of people do no excercise? where did you get your figures from? also where did you get that competition in schools has made this happen? those figures are shocking if true !

I didnt suggest for one minute that every class needs to be a race, read my post again.

That isn't what I said. Admittedly my figures are made up but school sports do put off a lot of kids from healthy activities. It definitely wasn't just me that did nothing for years after leaving school because in my school, it was all about the teams.