My husband loves spending money! Help!!

Any

I think there is some very usefull advice so far.
I might be off the mark, but from your post it seems to me that you are VERY worried about money..

It seems that he likes to spend some money he earned, at the end of the day before you have commitments such as children he wants to enjoy some good life.

Whilst you might want to rather forgo any fun until the money is stashed away.

I think you need to compromise. Sit down with him as others said and talk about goals. House. Children. Emergency pot. Bigger house. Car. Longhaul holiday. What ever that is. Explain the importance of having savings. Devise plan.

And then - both up contribution to joint account (or set up standing order) to a saving account/s. Monthly. Not for all or nearly all the remaining wages after bills. Leave some for fun, for having to spend how you like, without question asked. To be still able to feel like you don't live and work just to... work.

Tamsin_Temrin

Why do you think it is going to get better. Hes told you that your attitude to money is silly, hes no incentive to change and no doubt will rely on you to bail him out. This is how your married life will be, you need to get used to it.

however I would suggest that you lose the joint account and all joint financial products and do not let yourself get financially linked.

LisaJane

Woaw some great advice and some people way off the mark! I feel though it's my fault for not explaining everything fully! I feel I need to set a few things straight cos I feel so bad as if I feel I have painted a terrible picture of him!!

-We are only spending to the limit in our joint account, not our personal accounts.
- We have a year to pay the £1600 before it starts to charge interest and I have been paying off £200 a month on this out of the joint account therefore it is not something I'm worried about.
- The car we have is a car I bought before I met him. He is the one keen to change it and is willing to use the savings he has to buy a new one whether I can contribute just now or not.
- We are happy in our current home, buying our own home is a long term dream we both have for our hopefully future family. It isn't just me!!
- Everything for the wedding was paid for 50/50. He just happens to have more savings that me because he earns more and also he lived with his parents rent free for 5 months before the wedding whilst I had the full amount of rent/bills etc to pay on my own in our current house during that 5 months.
- He saves £375 each month into an ISA from his current account, it is the rest of the money that I would love him to be a little more careful with! However Any I think you have hit the nail completely on the head! I think he just wants to have fun before he has any real major financial commitments!

Stir_crazy, great advice! I could probably do with taking some of that myself!!

cherrypie363

Sounds like me and my partner. When we met he was £10k in debt (partly through spending and redundancy). He loves spending whilst I'm counting every penny. Every time he goes into town I dread he'll come back with another £75 pair of jeans or trainers. He's an impulsive spender!

We had a few rows over money - well me moaning at him and him getting annoyed with me and resenting me for wanting a better future for us.

So I took the step of spreadsheet budgeting, and budgeting our life - It did put my mind at rest as I worked out all bills and accounted for savings and then looked at what we had left over. Divided it by 2 and thats our monthly allowance each. He knows he can buy what he wants to his limit and I can relax and know the spreadsheet will balance out!

P.S. 2 years on and the debt is down to £2k and he thanks me for moaning at him now!

LisaJane

Had a small victory this evening...he wanted me to meet him in town for dinner after work as he is going to see Dara O'Brian tonight. I said no, because we have leftover lasagna in the fridge that is lovely and needs eaten so I told him to just come home for dinner plus it meant he could collect the car to drive to the gig. So we saved the money we would have spent on dinner + money he would have spent on a taxi home + money we have saved because he will now not be tempted to drink because he is driving. Yay! Baby steps...

stir_crazy

What is it they say? Slow and steady wins the race. Well done!

January20

LisaJane wrote: »

Woaw some great advice and some people way off the mark! I feel though it's my fault for not explaining everything fully! I feel I need to set a few things straight cos I feel so bad as if I feel I have painted a terrible picture of him!!

-We are only spending to the limit in our joint account, not our personal accounts.
- We have a year to pay the £1600 before it starts to charge interest and I have been paying off £200 a month on this out of the joint account therefore it is not something I'm worried about.
- The car we have is a car I bought before I met him. He is the one keen to change it and is willing to use the savings he has to buy a new one whether I can contribute just now or not.
- We are happy in our current home, buying our own home is a long term dream we both have for our hopefully future family. It isn't just me!!
- Everything for the wedding was paid for 50/50. He just happens to have more savings that me because he earns more and also he lived with his parents rent free for 5 months before the wedding whilst I had the full amount of rent/bills etc to pay on my own in our current house during that 5 months.
- He saves £375 each month into an ISA from his current account, it is the rest of the money that I would love him to be a little more careful with! However Any I think you have hit the nail completely on the head! I think he just wants to have fun before he has any real major financial commitments!

Stir_crazy, great advice! I could probably do with taking some of that myself!!

This is totally different to the picture you painted in you first post! I thought this was a man who had no savings at all, did not save ever and just squandered his money!

In view of what you have added, the fact he has savings, he regularly saves a nice amount of money and contributes his fair share to the bills and the debts, I don't think you should complain about how he is spending the rest of his money. After all, tomorrow may never come!

Perhaps you should accept that he will spend his money the way he wants and you will save your money to replenish your savings? I'm assuming he is not asking you to go 50/50 on the things he wants to buy?

Are you feeling especially sensitive about this issue because you have no savings left and you feel financially vulnerable?