Anxiety Sufferers?

mrcow

I've not suffered myself, but my OH certainly has and was off work for a while too.

We tried several things including a psychiatrist for 6 weeks (which didn't really help), sleeping medication (which he was very anxious about taking), councilling (he hated that too!).

The most important thing that we did though was talk. Just all the time about how things were going and making sure he was happy with keeping me in the loop. I couldn't leave him at home alone as it got too bad (especially with the kids) so making sure we had a plan for each day helped.

I also made sure that we did something positive each day (maybe go for lunch or a walk if he could face it). He used to go out walking at night when the restlessness was at its peak as he couldn't stay still.

But talking was the main thing.
That and making sure he got enough sleep - as that was a major trigger.

We also made sure that there was nothing that he needed to make decisions about as that added to the whole problem. He was lucky as work were understanding and we coped pretty well overall.

Just keep trying different things - some will work and some won't.

I do agree with the above - it's unbelievable how common this is. It's only when you start talking to people that you realise how many people are affected by it at some point in their lives.

Talking to people and sharing how things are going is so important. It is through doing this that we were able to get the support we really needed.

My OH go through it all about 5 years ago now and has been fine ever since. It 100% is something that you can through, but you need to discover and work through your triggers and worries.



Depression on the other hand, I can talk about first hand as I've been as near to the bottom of the pit and as anyone. Again, it's about talking. Leaning on those that you trust and sharing what you need to share, keeping those close to you close - don't push them away.

Courgette

I lost a baby in July and it has triggered all sorts of problems for me, mainly anxiety, flashbacks and a complete inability to deal with any kind of stress even the things that probably wouldn't normally register as stress. I'm fine when I can hide in my own little world but cried twice at work yesterday and have a pins and needles feeling at the thought of going in tomorrow. None of this makes logical sense as I enjoy my job and my colleagues are lovely. I just have no idea how to take control of this and find myself again.

Sometimes I can 'see' the children I lost, I see them running up the garden with my toddler, again makes no logical sense because I'm not even up to my due date yet. Last night they were waiting for me at the end of the bed. DH held me really tight and they faded. I often have the feeling of being watched.

I so much want to be myself again and just crack on with my life. I have found a sympathetic GP but really it seems my options are anti-d's and/or the pill to settle my hormones down ( still feel pregnant for at least a week a month adding to my distress) but both of these options would mean putting trying for another baby on hold which I just can't imagine will help.

mrcow

I don't think that there is much you can do about flashbacks, as terrifying as they can be, as they happen at just random times. I went through a period of 17 months of them, and yes, they stopped after my third child was born.

I know what you mean about work though. It's just hard to face people when you want to hide from the world, no matter how nice they are. Not going into work however can just make it even worse as it adds to the pressure when you finally return. If however you can't actually be in work without crying, then perhaps it really is time to think about anti depressants - you don't have to be on them forever and they may just be enough to get through for now.

Taking control back is also about making plans and making them start to happen. Even just something little in the first instance. Maybe have a think about that too.

thelittlestranger

Courgette wrote: »

I lost a baby in July and it has triggered all sorts of problems for me, mainly anxiety, flashbacks and a complete inability to deal with any kind of stress even the things that probably wouldn't normally register as stress. I'm fine when I can hide in my own little world but cried twice at work yesterday and have a pins and needles feeling at the thought of going in tomorrow. None of this makes logical sense as I enjoy my job and my colleagues are lovely. I just have no idea how to take control of this and find myself again.

Sometimes I can 'see' the children I lost, I see them running up the garden with my toddler, again makes no logical sense because I'm not even up to my due date yet. Last night they were waiting for me at the end of the bed. DH held me really tight and they faded. I often have the feeling of being watched.

I so much want to be myself again and just crack on with my life. I have found a sympathetic GP but really it seems my options are anti-d's and/or the pill to settle my hormones down ( still feel pregnant for at least a week a month adding to my distress) but both of these options would mean putting trying for another baby on hold which I just can't imagine will help.

Hi Courgette, I am so sorry for what you're going through. Sending hugs.

Have you spoken to your GP about counselling? You could pay for it yourself, but if this isn't possible, some doctors surgeries have a counsellor who come and visit once a week. This would mean you could talk through how you're feeling and perhaps regain a bit of confidence?

I know you're not keen on the idea of anti d's but have you spoken to your GP to see if there's any you can use that won't affect fertility? I'm sorry if that's not possible, unfortunately I don't know how much they affect pregnancy.

If anti d's aren't possible, what about other natural remedies? I've even visited a herbalist before to help with my IBS and they might be able to provide you with something to soothe you, even if it just helps with the sleep.

I'm sorry if my post wasn't much help but just didn't want to not respond. x

Metranil_Vavin

Courgette, only just read your post above.

I'm in tears, I am so sorry. I do have some idea of how you are feeling. I have had horrendous night terrors the last few weeks (something I tend to get when I am anxious and stressed).

I don't know how to deal with my feelings either. My mother told me this week that I needed to get a handle on things though or I will end up destroying what I have already, and that 'my glass is half full and I should be grateful for what I have'.

I really am, but it doesn't stop it hurting.

Courgette

I'm on a very slow phased return to work. First day back for example I just had to be in the building for half a day and my nerves were pretty shot after just that. I taught one 6th form lesson on Weds and tomorrow I'll do 2.

Work have been fabulous, so supportive. I think just admitting to myself and others that I'm actually tipping over into serious mental illness rather than just being fed up has also really helped.

I've also been taking massive amounts of vitamins esp B vits which help with anxiety and depression and energy levels and also some oils to help with the PMT. Bit early to tell what's working but at least I'm starting to feel like I'm taking back some control

Racheldevon

Hi
Re the counselling- it sounds like you another child under 5? If so, you don't need to wait months to see a counsellor on the NHS or pay - your local sure start children's centre will have a counselling service available for you to access free of charge. The centres provide a whole load of services, support, activities etc for families under 5, and all communities have access to their services. Have a look on google to find the ones in your county/area