CSA - Income, stuggling to pay bills etc...

wayne0

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

As previously, is there any reason your wife cannot work to support your household?

yes, UK legislation is in place at the moment preventing her working - as she is currently without a visa as its being renewed ...

wayne0

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Also, after your rent and council tax your saying you have £243ish left over. Yet you quibble over £35 to your child which would still leave your £208 left in your household. I find your logic very odd.

ok i have a car (which was purchased in previous employment) which costs £150 month (loan)... insurance, tax, fuel for this ...
public transport is not very good whre i live (1 hour buses, which do not turn up on weekends etc and def not on the night)
i also require car for commute for son.

i then have to pay gas / elec/food for kids/wife.

if the law says i require £258 quid to live on, and im on £243 quid... why do i pay a higher rate than a "scrounger" on benefits...

also, there are many ways for me to "loose" my job. Ever heard of "Gross misconduct" i could simply walk up to a customer and tell them to go f... off. and ive been sacked... this would not result in a sanction

but again, considering i have plenty of sicknotes, i wouldnt need to do this... and i could be "made redundant" on medical grounds...

- edit -

also,£208 minus £40 travel to work costs = 168. minus 50 travel to see son costs = 118... so im left with 118 to feed a family of four, pay the gas and elec. etc? thats cool...

i already cancelled tv license, sky, ETC to be able to live. only reason i have internet is because i am in contract until next aug...

i have looked into selling car, but i owe over 6 grand on it, and would only get 2-3 grand for it. hardly seems sensible, considering i will still have to pay even half the payments of 75 a month (19 a week).. i therefore "refinanced" and "consilidated" with a bank loan (which reduced my payments from 210 / mo)

shoe*diva79

If you are genuinely unable to work then of course ESA isn't benefit scrounging, in fact, i don't think anywhere on this thread have you been accused of benefit scrounging.

Maybe you can look for a job better suited to your needs as you obviously can work, but maybe the job your doing isn't suitable for our health.

Hopefully your wife's visa will allow her to seek work very soon. Im sorry, but I do stand by my previous comment. If you would have known money would be a issue then why have another baby knowing you couldn't afford it. Especially with your wife prevented from working with her visa restrictions.

Ad yes, I am a PWC, and have also been a NRPP so can see from both sides of the fence. Your posts are all about your new family and altho you want to provide for your first child, you want it to be after your new children have been put first. Just my take on things from what you have said..

Good luck with it all. I hope it all works out and all your children are treated equally.

clearingout

wayne, we all feel very strongly about these issues and much depends on where we sit as to just how strongly we feel.

You can't possibly know who pays for what in your ex's household, it doesn't work like that. My ex hasn't a clue what money I have or how it is spent - he will make assumptions, and sometimes he'll be right and sometimes he'll be wrong. Kind of works the other way - that he has a new car doesn't necessarily mean he's had a pay rise but could be an indiciation of a win on the lottery, new girlfriend earning significantly, change of job means he gets a car...list is endless really. That your ex cheated on you has nothing to do with the need to support your children. That you may or may not be too ill to work or that you married someone who needs a visa to be allowed to work is also redundant.

We can debate the rights and wrongs all day but the the simple fact is either you stop working and go onto benefits, or you continue to work and pay the amount the CSA says (after checking it's right - there's a calculator on their website which will give you an idea if you're in the right ball park).

shoe*diva79

Being sacked would result in a sanction BTW

shoe*diva79

Sell your car and buy a cheaper one to run and no more loan repayments. Why should your child suffer because of your debt?

wayne0

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Sell your car and buy a cheaper one to run and no more loan repayments. Why should your child suffer because of your debt?

sorry, updated post above ,,, looked into that... would of still been left high n dry... i would still need a car (no getting out of the fact) - it actually is cheaper to own a car than use trains etc for me... so to reduce a debt by 2 grand isnt going to help really...

but thats the things i did to be able to afford to live before on a £15 arrangement buying clothes etc...

kevin137

clearingout wrote: »

this is an interesting point, Kevin. Men can go around having babies with as many women as they want, promising whatever the woman concerned needs to hear....and then what? The relationship breaks down? Children living in absolute poverty because they have a !!!!less NRP who can move on...and on...and on.....Very worrying move for PWC who are genuinely left 'holding the baby'.

Oh i agree...!

But it is not always better to stay in a relationship if it is wrong, but then it is not always good to have more children by a different mother either...

I have 2 by different mothers, and i took the sure step of making sure i didn't have any more...

Maybe it was a selfish thing for me to do, maybe it was a sensible thing to do, but i took that choice as the right thing for me...! I did not want more kids by more mothers, i never wanted 2 by different mothers but sometimes that is how things work out...

I would gladly of had my children living with me, and i fought for years to get access to the point where my daughters mother was told she was being sent to prison..! At that point, i withdrew my application as it would not of achieved anything but bitterness animosity and ill feelings... From both her, her family and the child... Did i suffer yes, did it make me bitter, a little, but the main cause of the arguments where because of the CSA, as i had an agreement with her (private) and the mother of my son was through the CSA, and i could not afford both the way they where set up, so the CSA had to choose, allow the consideration of the private, or she would have to move to the CSA...!

I have not seen my daughter since...! and that is 8 years...! I blame the mother yes, but i also blame the CSA and there incompetence and the government for getting the system soooo wrong...!

ALIBOBSY

People will have opposing thoughts on your situation OP. Putting them all to one side you need to look at practical ways to manage your budget.

Check all you benefit claims are up to date, you say your get HB, but do you get some council tax benefit as well?

Then post a SOA on the debt boards and people there can give you ideas on cutting your bills. You as a couple have one advantage. You are money poor but time rich in that your OH has the time to cook and bake from scratch and check out threads and sites online for bargains. If we have to 6 of us can eat on £50 a week fairly easily, we mostly spend around £60-£80 and live very well. BUT I rarely use the big stores accept for the discounters like aldi and lidl and certainly never go around a big supermarket throwing stuff in.

There are ways to live well, but a more frugal life.
Good luck
Ali x

shoe*diva79

wayne0 wrote: »

sorry, updated post above ,,, looked into that... would of still been left high n dry... i would still need a car (no getting out of the fact) - it actually is cheaper to own a car than use trains etc for me... so to reduce a debt by 2 grand isnt going to help really...

but thats the things i did to be able to afford to live before on a £15 arrangement buying clothes etc...

Sorry, it is worth it. You would be saving £150 per month. You can buy a cheap runaround for a few hundred pounds until your in a better financial position. I agree you need a car, but there are cheaper cars.