Dogs on Laps, Sofa, beds?

markelock

We recently adopted a second dog (M) from a local (and very nicely run) rescue home. The new dog gets on fine with the existing one, they lie together, but are different ages, so he is more playful that our current dog (F), but equally loving.

However he's normally desperate to get on my lap (when I'm working), or anywhere close to where I sit. He doesn't do it when I'm eating, and once he's there, he just settles down to sleep. So am I right in thinking he just wants to relax with me, rather than showing any dominance?

krlyr

Dominance doesn't really work as many old-fashioned trainers would have you believe. Usually a dog trying to climb on your lap just means that the dog wants a cuddle!
While sometimes, enforcing rules on a dog can help with behavioural issues - for example, preventing a clingy dog from following you around the house or sleeping on your bed to promote some independence - I don't believe dogs are plotting to take over your household/the world and often behave a certain way simply because it works. If a dog has always growled and been allowed to hog the sofa because of it, then they'll keep growling, because it works! If putting their chin on your lap gets them attention - even if you just try pushing their head away - they'll do it to get attention in the future. Dominance-based trainers will come up with all these fancy explanations for it, but a dog is a dog! They do what works.

Raksha

Domestic dogs showing dominance over their owners is an outdated idea. Yes, he probably wants to be close and warm and comfortable.
You need to decide what you would like him to do while you're busy, make it easy for him to choose by giving him a warm comfortable alternative and making it rewarding for him by throwing him occasional treats (if your current dog already has 'his/her' place, make sure you reward him too). Young fidgetty dogs can be encouraged to settle down with a long lasting chew toy, bone or 'Stag bar'

gettingready

Hope it is a small dog.. just trying to imagine Zara wanting to climb up on my laps

markelock

gettingready wrote: »

Hope it is a small dog.. just trying to imagine Zara wanting to climb up on my laps

He's a staffie cross, but a very small one!

Sounds ok then. The only pain is he's pretty relentless in his attempts to get close (so going to bed without him on it, doesn't mean we'll wake up without him there) The older dog must be bemused, but I ensure she always gets the same level of fuss.

Raksha

He may settle more quickly if he physically can't reach you - perhaps use a house line to restrain him - tied to a door or heavy piece of furniture.

zaksmum

Poor little fella probably only wants a cuddle and a bit of reassurance that he's found his forever home now.

Was he a stray? He's had a tough time and if you're happy to have him on your lap, where's the harm?

I used to love a sweet doggy cuddle with my dog snoozing happily on my lap...sadly my two now are just too big to fit on!

antw23uk

Personally i dont think its a good idea to let dogs on laps, sofas, beds or even upstairs to be honest.
I do think you should stop giving in to him as this could lead to seperation anxiety in the future. Reassure him there is nothing wrong with sitting by your feet and being fussed on the floor and that its ok to be left and not have to be with you in any room you are in.

Good luck ... and pics? :T

ariba10

We have an eleven year old Lab that has never been upstairs or (Not to our knowledge) on any of our chairs.

If you want to play with him you go on the floor with him.

He will not go though a door way before you.

moggymutt

I dont know who would be more upset if they didnt sit on my knee or snuggle up in bed, me or my dogs!

They keep me warm at night, and when ill I have always had dogs snuggle up to me in bed in a very protective way. I wouldnt have got through some of my worst mental health illnesses and suicidal times without them, its as simple as that. They've always looked after me even when I thought I wasnt worth being looked after. I cuddle up around them if they are ill. Cant see anything wrong with it.

markelock

I don't think I can upload a picture correctly, I guess it might be size related?