paying csa until aged 20???

Takeaway_Addict

Marisco wrote: »

I didn't know this Kev!! You can see why though! Did this come about after that woman who was married to a PL footballer, got a % of his future earnings although they were divorced? I forget his name now, something like Parnaby? It was in the papers about 3/4 years ago, he doesn't play anymore as far as I know, unless he's in the lower divisions.

Ray Parlour...

his_wife

i am all for supporting the children, my sd , goes to college, as her mother said she had too, and she would give her x amount a week for going, if she didnt she would loose, tax creds, ctc, child benefit and of course the csa,,, she is still doing a first year course, three years on,,,,,,,her mum is actually on more money than us, with all perks of prescriptions , etc etc,,,,,

My 17 yr old had to come out of college, as we couldnt even afford to give her the bus fare , let alone dinner money, no i dont begrudge my husband paying for his "child" however, you are either a child or an adult, you cant fit into both camps. However, i do begrudge the fact that his child has gone to college, to basically waste time, to generate money, she has said she wont work , why should she????? when my daughter has to forsake a chance of being in college, simply because we can not physically afford it!!!

shoe*diva79

his_wife wrote: »

i am all for supporting the children, my sd , goes to college, as her mother said she had too, and she would give her x amount a week for going, if she didnt she would loose, tax creds, ctc, child benefit and of course the csa,,, she is still doing a first year course, three years on,,,,,,,her mum is actually on more money than us, with all perks of prescriptions , etc etc,,,,,

My 17 yr old had to come out of college, as we couldnt even afford to give her the bus fare , let alone dinner money, no i dont begrudge my husband paying for his "child" however, you are either a child or an adult, you cant fit into both camps. However, i do begrudge the fact that his child has gone to college, to basically waste time, to generate money, she has said she wont work , why should she????? when my daughter has to forsake a chance of being in college, simply because we can not physically afford it!!!

I your SD has no intention of working she will be in for a almighty shock when college finishes. She wont be able to just bum round doing nothing, the PWC will no longer receive child related benefits for her and I can only assume her mother will encourage her to get a job to support herself. Wen the SD can only get a low paid job as she didnt bother studying hard enough, thats when she will look back and wished she tried harder. And that my friend is Karma!
You will be living your life, no CSA worries.

Marisco

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

Ray Parlour...

That's the one!! Cheers TA

his_wife

thank you shoe diva, its an ongoing saga!! however, i am a firm beleiver in karma, its just a kick in the teeth when you pay well over the odds, everything is one sided, and its still not enough, then for them to say they are raising the age limit to 20 is gut wrenching. Before, anyone says, no i dont mind supporting her, we do mind supporting her mums life style, we offered sd money direct, however, after she checked with her mother who obviously said no, we had to pay more via csa.

Personally, all my children, have had to leave school and support themselves, if they want nights out, fancy clothes etc, then they need a job to support it, its just very frustrating supporting a child at 20, especially when they are able bodied, and more than capable of supporting themselves, ie, part time work to subsidise their own lifestyle.

clearingout

it is a tricky thing....I don't see why a PWC should have to continue to support a child into adulthood anymore than an NRP should...but the reality is that many parents do support their children above and beyond the age of 18 and do so without any benefits or other support. Even if a child who is studying goes out to work part-time, it is not going to cover their full living costs and the parents are expected to contribute - this is something that the Government is now saying, in a round about way, by cutting benefits for younger people. There are those who will argue 'well, I made my own way from 16' and I have nothing but admiration if that has been how things worked for you but I was helped out into adulthood by my parents, and have continued to benefit (not only financially or with a roof over my head but with in-kind contributions as well) as I have got older. I sincerely hope that I am able to make a significant contribution towards my children's futures in this way - and it will be only me 'cos the ex isn't going to bother - but if I can't, the idea that I will have to literally throw them out or have them avoid university doesn't sit very well. I do think the NPR should contribute as long as a child is studying - but probably to the child themselves after they leave 6th form.

his_wife

but, thats the thing clearing out, the pwc isnt supporting her, her dad is, and tax creds and child benefit. We asked her mum if she was going to give her the same more than substantial amount her dad pays, and she laughed in his face. I know not all cases are like this, three of my children have left school, and yes i support them to some extent ie, put a roof over their heads and food in their tummys, wash clean etc,,, however, the money we pay in csa, a week is what i run my household on bills wise and shopping wise a week for all of us!!!

I am not saying we wouldnt support her, however, at the age of all but 19 it should be a choice not a demand via the government.

his_wife

forgot to add clearing out,,,, did your parents choose to help you with hand outs or where they told they had to by the government, you are very lucky you have such supportive parents. We would be more than happy to support child, however, it should be a choice by her dad, to give her money for treats, college etc, as , she should also be willing to help herself, i really can not get my head round how you can be classed as a child at 20,,, it has baffled me.

clearingout

my parents helped me presumably because they wanted to but possibly out of a sense of obligation as well. The problem with separated families is that obligation seems to get lost down the middle somewhere.

You're right, a 20 year old isn't a child. But if they are in education and living in their parent's home and dependent on their parents financially for the roof over their heads, heating, food on the table, then there's really no difference between a child of 16 and the adult of 20, is there? and this is the reality of life for many young adults today. Again, I'm not sure that the NRP should be exempt from making a contribution towards that.

his_wife

I totally "hear" what you are reading clearing out,,, my eldest one put hisself through college, he worked more than part time hours to cover it,as i could not afford to do it, my eldest daughter had to leave, as i couldnt afford the bus fare as i have already said.

I am not saying nrp should just turn their backs on the children once they reach 18/19/20,,, however, once they are classed as as an adult, it should be a choice, not a demand.

In our situtation, the sd has only gone back to college,as her mum will loose money, and she has no intention of working.