Struggling to know what to do next

Dalglish

Hi
I would describe myself as an above average wage earner but with a repayment mortgage that eats up more than 50% of my net monthly income.

I am becoming increasingly anxious because like most parents, we have opted to privately educate our only child which costs us approx £500.
I know some of you will baulk at this and suggest takinghim out of his schoool into a comprehensive but that is not an option in our London area.

What I guess I'm looking for is to hear of like minded people who are faced with ongoing hardship - how do you handle the finances?
I'm thinking of extending the mortgage term back out to 20 years which will place me at 64 when I repay - this would be a 1 or 2 year arrangement only to bring down the monthly mortgage though I know of course it will cost us in the longer term.
Many thanks for looking in ...
Best wishes
Steve

LookingAhead

I think how you choose to educate your child is your business so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. IMHO.

Take a look at the "sticky" thread on the front of this debt free chat forum (it is by Southern Scouser) for first time posters.

It gives advice on what we need as a group to advise you.

Good luck!

skylight

Hi - and welcome to DFW!

Everyone here is like-minded - we want to be debt free.

The ONLY way to sort out debts is to change your lifestyle and cutback. And yes - private schooling is not the best outgoing you could have.

Post an SOA (Statement of Affairs). There is a post on the main DFW board showing examples. Then basically we here pick it to pieces to help with savings areas etc.

Extending a mortgage is an idea, but then perhaps could you sell up and downsize?? Extra room - perhaps a lodger?? Remember about lifestyle change! Its about finding a solution that will fit your family.

You can't keep up with the Joneses if you cant afford it!

LookingAhead

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

In fact here's a link!

For what it's worth, I wouldn't extend the mortgage unless there was no other option so let's see how you are doing with your income/outgoings first and take it from there.

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Welcome aboard, first thing to do is post an soa (statement of affairs) so the lovely people can have a look at any areas you can save money, its surprising what these guys can identify. You're in the right place for mutual support and advice no matter what your circumstances.
IDA

msmicawber

Hi Steve,

I for one, don't care how people got in debt, or why they want to moneysave, it's not about being judgemental. You have every right to pay for a private education for your child, or run a supercar, or buy Italian shoes, or whatever floats your boat.

I'm very careful about checking bank statements to ensure I don't overspend. I also keep an eye on insurance and utility bills and check regularly to ensure I'm getting a good deal. I budget for everything and generally keep in touch with my finances. That's just general advice. If you'd like more specific advice, then why not post a statement of affairs (see SouthernScouser's sticky post on this board for details), then we could give some specific advice.

lynzpower

My gut feeling here is that if you are paying over half your salary to the mortgage,that is more of an issue, than privately educating your son. I agree changing schools can be disruptive, and having worked within a number of comprehensives in London, I can quite safely say Id rather home school my kids ( when they arrive) or emigrate than send them to any of the schools I have witnessed. Im not a snob as many of you know, but when you see some of the things Ive seen in schools, I can certainly see the appeal of private education.

In saying that tho, Id lve in a mudhut to get my kids properly educated, and not in a house that is costing over the odds. Im presuming your income is somewhere around the 4k pcm mark if not a bit higher, if your mortgage is half that, then have you considered selling and renting or downsizing to something smaller so you can afford to educate your son more comfortably?

Dalglish

Many thanks to all of you and for the warm welcome ...
I'll post an SOA and talk again hopefully
KR
Steve

Mindy_2

We also send our son to private school, but you need to bear in mind that the fees rise at a horrendous rate, we didn't know that at the time he went in and would still have done it anyway but would have known what to expect.

He started in Year 3 and the fees were £1,000 a term - quite affordable for us at that time - or so we thought, DH had a massive salary and we weren't worried about debts (we had them but didn't care because we could pay them back at any time - not!!!). Now he is near the end of Year 10 and the fees are £3,700 a term and we have just had advance notification that they are going up by 8.5% for next year - he will stay until the end of Year 11 and then that's it - sink or swim, we've done our best for him. DH's salary is also half what it was then, and our debts are much higher now.

Vickicb

Without seeing an SOA, it seems either the huge mortgage or the school fees have to go. I can imagine your reluctance to put him into a London comp, we are not in London but were in catchment for one of the worst secondarys in the country. Primary school excellent, but son no 1 was in year 2 and felt it was getting closer and closer to secondary age.

We also had a large mortgage, and private school was not an option financially, especially with 2 kids. So we researched schools in a 20-30 mile radius of where we lived and settled on a town 20 miles away, schools fine, nothing special but a bit above national average. We moved into the catchment area, which was more expensive and had to downsize by 2 bedrooms (5 to 3). The way I see it is that losing one bedroom was due to the more expensive area and losing the other bedroom was to pay off debts. We paid off 80% of our debts and also downsized our mortgage by around 30K.

In order to let OH have a home office (he works half of his time at home) the boys now share a bedroom. They have a huge room and they love sharing at the moment. The property is extendable so when the remaining 20% of debts have gone in 2-3 years time we may increase our mortgage again to extend the property and give the boys a bedroom each again for the teenage years! The house needed alot of TLC and we budgeted for that in the move so we are not borrowing to do up the place, OH is doing alot of the work himself and so we hope we are increasing the value.

We will end up, in a few years, with a lovely home, comparable to what we left, if not better as it has a bigger garden, off road parking, a garage, etc, and our kids will end up at a fairly decent school. Even if we do not extend we can now breath financially, afford holidays, etc and are not scared of the online banking site!

I'm not suggesting you make such a drastic move as this - but if you can find an area where you are more comfortable with the state schools you may be able to continue living in a nice property, although you might have a longer commute (like my OH). Or you need to downsize your property and continue with the private education. I appreciate London living is expensive, you might need to move some distance and your son will need to change to another private school, but from friends who were privately educated I understand that in private schools there is alot of changing of schools from year to year and it's not really a problem for forming friendships, etc.

Anyway, that's our story and it's worked out for us, so far! Good luck and I hope you find a solution.

Pobby

Private education?Well it`s a right that can be exercised but with the 2 people in my family that had the ``benefits`` of it,I can`t see any advantage.One left without any qualifications and the other faired not much better.Have to say imho,getting kids into main stream schooling is introducing them to the hard,tough world that will encounter as adults.