What would you do???

mrsmather1

Just wanted some other prespectives really.

Hubby and I are with payplan and have approximately £36000 worth of debt that we are clearing. With our payments staying the way they are we will be debt free by April 2012 so only 4 years. We are likely in this time to have pay rises & bonuses so could realistically pay off all debts in 3 years.

Now here comes my dilema.....

We would like to have a family. This would mean one income plus maybe some benefits and more expenditure.

In my logical mind I know it would be better to wait and be debt free before having a child however my maternal nature really is getting the better of me and I will be 30 by the time we could start trying!

What would you sensible people do?? Have any of you been in a similar position???

Thanks

Mrs M x

helping_hubby

I'm 27 and I've told OH we're not having kids till we're debt free. I'll be 31.

I don't think that's old.

lynzpower

It depends really on how "turbo" you are.

Some people are quite satisfied with thier DMP ticking along, and having a life outside of it. Me personally, ( not that I had a DMP, but just my approach) was the real "suffering" style, really really slicing right back until there was nothing left to slice back - living "at the bone" if you like.

I dont know where you are up to, but are there ANY more cutbacks you can make to get your DMP date down further? eg if you could create some lump sums to do F&Fs then that could be an option to get rid sooner rather than later.

Saying that, babies and toddlers are relitavely cheap and there are many of us here that have babies and carry on in debt. It when babies turn into kids then teenagers :eek: that they become super expensive :eek: so youd be out of the woods by then

Spendless

I'd pay off the debt first. Being 30 isn't too old;) and still leaves you long enough, should you have say fertility problems or it takes you a while to conceive. How nice it will be to be debt free before starting a family and the choice being yours as to whether you continue to work or whether you move to a larger house say rather than going in for a baby earlier, where you have the strain of a baby and debt to pay off.

kinkypixie

Hi there,

It was so relieving to read this post. I have a similar prediciment. I have about £11k worth of debt, my boyfriend has debt, of what amout I have no idea. I also am thinking about a family but have no idea which would be best, do I pay my debts or start a family and grin and bare it. I'm 27 in May and hope to be debt free before my 30th.

I really don't know how comfortable you'd feel loosing an income while you take time off to have the baby?

Do you both have well paid jobs? Will your OH's wage cover you?

Spendless

lynzpower wrote: »

Saying that, babies and toddlers are relitavely cheap and there are many of us here that have babies and carry on in debt. It when babies turn into kids then teenagers :eek: that they become super expensive :eek: so youd be out of the woods by then

I'd also say babies and toddlers are cheap but the expense comes from having to give up work or childcare costs.

lonely_2

Hi, I'm also with Payplan - just started this month. Debt will also take 4 and a bit years to pay (although I hope it will be sooner). Just got married - less than two years ago. DMP is mine only, hubby knows nothing about it and is really good with money. I DEPERATELY want a baby and I AM 30!! I have to pretend I'm not ready yet but really it's just because I know we can't until I clear my debts. So I will be 34-35 when I can have one, which seems like an eternity.

BUT - if you did have a baby, Payplan can accomodate this. They can make changes to your plan on a temporary basis, they do realise that these things happen. But there wouldn't be the option to not go back to work - the debts would always be hanging over your head.

Also, practically speaking, I could not raise a baby in a small, two-bed flat in central London (I know people do but I wouldn't want to). So moving to a bigger place would be another expenditure...you need to consider all of this if it applies to you too.

Perhaps if you gave it another year or two, hubby will get a pay rise. From my calculations, you and him must be paying about £300 each - am I right? £600 on a good salary is not a HUGE amount to pay towards the DMP, so maybe you could do it.

I really sympathise because I know exactly how you feel. And unlike you I don't have as much time on my side!

helping_hubby

lynzpower wrote: »

Saying that, babies and toddlers are relitavely cheap and there are many of us here that have babies and carry on in debt. It when babies turn into kids then teenagers :eek: that they become super expensive :eek: so youd be out of the woods by then

When you say relatively cheap, could you elaborate? How much does it cost having a baby?

My biggest concern is the cost of looking after the baby. If I quit my job we couldn't afford to live on one salary. If I stayed in work, 90% of my earnings would go on child care. I've been hearing nightmare stories that childcare can cost £1000 a month! Is this true?

How much is maternity pay? Is it fixed? Or is it based on your salary.

chevalier

Okay I would like to say that babies don't HAVE to be expensive, it is just your mind set. When I got pregnant with my first we got
family bassinet from my dad
my old cot from my mum (only cost were two new mattresses to meet health regs)
moses basket, baby chair and bath from a friend,
two loads of baby clothes from two of my friends
signed up for every freebee going so didn't buy baby bath, shampoo, nappy cream etc for about 6 months
The only things I bought for my first was bedding (all in the sale in mothercare with 75% off) and nappies. Even then I could have done this cheaper if I had gone for reusable ones, but just couldn't face it!
I was lucky enough to be able to breast feed both of mine until they were 11 and 10 months respectively
When it came to solids I home prepared pretty much everything so I knew what was in my sons food. Saved me an absolute fortune on jars (though I did have some as signed up again for all the freebies and had about 2 dozen jars for nothing).

My baby didn't have shoes until he was walking. They only cramp the feet anyway.

The only thing I did buy new was the baby car seat and even then we got the last one of the design half price in mothercare:D

I then go more clothes from said friends up until DS was about 18 months and then had to start buying some for myself.

If you are not proud and say yes to everything, and be really assertive with the midwives etc about getting breast feeding right, a baby doesn't have to cost a lot. It only costs a lot if one insists on everything new, from Next or Gap or something.

Having said all that I had my first DS when 33 and the second when 35, so 30 isn't old.

hope this helps
chev

jenjen1

Hi I hope this helps.

I am 23 with a 5 year old boy and a two year old girl.

We have debts of £17k.

With one income we can only manage to pay a tiny percentage of our debt. I can not work as we can not afford the childcare costs. We wont be clear of debt for years.

I tell my children every day that they can not have the things they want.

My son asks for an ice cream from the ice cream van, he doesn't get it. My daughter thinks the ice cream van is 'the potatoe man'. I tell her this so I don't have to see the look on her face when I say I have no pennies.

They are much loved children who never go without emotionally but when you can't give them the things they want it breaks your heart.

My advice, clear your debt and enjoy children when you have financial stability behind you.

Batgirl

I have 2 boys and we had debt when we had them and now don't. I would really try and wait as that is obviously the sensible thing to do, but on the other hand I probably wouldn't have been able to wait if it was me.

What I would suggest is do as my mum did.............. when she married my Dad they knew they wanted kids so decided to live off one wage from day 1 as when they baby came they would only hbave one wage. So I think you should cut your wage out now! That way you will get used to not having the 2nd wage before you get the extra expense and also your debt should go down all the quicker, and you will become much more thrifty within this time which would be handy in the long run.

Also I would strat trying 6 months to a year before your debt free date as it may take a few weeks to fall and also you then have another 9mnths of being pregnant.


This is all just my opinion and I can completely see both sides of the arguement but sometimes you should listen to you head and the other times to you heart.

Hope you make the right decision for you.

Batgirl.