Please help me if you can

Shnookina

Hi,
I'm so upset right now im shaking as i type this, im going out of my mind.... me, my partner and 3 kids live in a private rented house. My partner worked and i stayed at home with the kids, plan was i would find work when the kids are all in school.
Anyway my partner has had to leave work because of mental illness and im so scared of coping money wise. so far we have had lots of dif advice off lots of people and sooooo far I have this:
We will be able to claim esa, housing benefit, child tax credit and child benefit. Instantly we have a £300 drop in income and what makes it distressing for me now is that ive been told we cant claim esa as a couple? i cant go out finding a job while my partner is off ill as he cant look after the kids in his state! the worry is making me ill and please if you know anything that can bring some comfort please share with me

trailingspouse

I just want to quickly offer you my sympathy and understanding. My OH has periods of depression leading to times when he is unable to work for longish periods. You will survive, but you will need to take control of the situation very very quickly. And look after yourself too. I don't have any easy answers to your questions, just wanted you to know you weren't alone.

Yorkie1

I am no expert in benefits, but if you go over to the Debt free wannabee board on here, you can post a statement of affairs (details of what you spend) and get help in reducing your outgoings, which should help tackle it from the other end.

cabbage

Hi

If there's a gap between your housing benefit and rent you may get discretionary housing payments to top it up a bit. You apply at your local council office. Have you had a proper benefit check? If not, it would be wise to do so. They will be able to tell you about passported benefits ie free prescriptions etc

pmlindyloo

Shnookina wrote: »

Hi,
I'm so upset right now im shaking as i type this, im going out of my mind.... me, my partner and 3 kids live in a private rented house. My partner worked and i stayed at home with the kids, plan was i would find work when the kids are all in school.
Anyway my partner has had to leave work because of mental illness and im so scared of coping money wise. so far we have had lots of dif advice off lots of people and sooooo far I have this:
We will be able to claim esa, housing benefit, child tax credit and child benefit. Instantly we have a £300 drop in income and what makes it distressing for me now is that ive been told we cant claim esa as a couple? i cant go out finding a job while my partner is off ill as he cant look after the kids in his state! the worry is making me ill and please if you know anything that can bring some comfort please share with me

Could you please tell us how old your children are? This may make a difference.

Edit:

Have just reread this and see that not all of your children are at school.

I believe that this is one of those cases where you might need some expert advice (CAB/Welfare & Benefits advisor) as regards making a joint claim.

I do not understand why you have been told that you cannot make a joint claim for ESA and then not given any other advice.

I suspect that this is complex because your OH is eligible for contribution based ESA but also eligible for income based ESA.

I also suspect that you may be better off with a joint claim for Income Support rather than ESA.

However, this is an area that I am not confident about so unless anyone else can advise then I would get an appointment with a specialist.

The good news is that you will be entitled to Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit, Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits.

I also would recommend visiting the Debt free Wannabe board (not just for those in debt) for some ideas for budgetting during this difficult time.

princessdon

Why are you stressing out?

Depending on the ages of your children the worst that can happen is you find a job within school hours.

Given how everyone says there are no jobs, then clearly you are not going to get one tomorrow if you have been out of work so long.

Just sign on - get the support and hopefully your OH will be better by the time you find a job which is likely to be at least a few months away unless you are lucky.

FBaby

You can't expect to receive the same income on benefit than what you would had working, otherwise, where would be the incentive for your partner to get better and back to work (or better enough to look after the children and you to get a job).

What you need to do is look at the whole picture. Your priority long term is to support your partner to get back to better health. The shorter the time in unemployment, the better he will be to cope. Already it seems that a significant error was made with him giving up his work rather than going off sick. You need to accept that.

In the meantime, you will need to review your budget and make serious sacrifices. See which you can make short-term, medium term, and long term if unfortunately your partner is not getting better. The more you will understand your position at each stage, the less frightening it will be even if will be hard to cope with a reduced income.

miduck

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Could you please tell us how old your children are? This may make a difference.

Edit:

Have just reread this and see that not all of your children are at school.

I believe that this is one of those cases where you might need some expert advice (CAB/Welfare & Benefits advisor) as regards making a joint claim.

I do not understand why you have been told that you cannot make a joint claim for ESA and then not given any other advice.

I suspect that this is complex because your OH is eligible for contribution based ESA but also eligible for income based ESA.

I also suspect that you may be better off with a joint claim for Income Support rather than ESA.

However, this is an area that I am not confident about so unless anyone else can advise then I would get an appointment with a specialist.

The good news is that you will be entitled to Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit, Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits.

I also would recommend visiting the Debt free Wannabe board (not just for those in debt) for some ideas for budgetting during this difficult time.

The OP has no entitlement to IS, unless her partner is in receipt of DLA MRC or HRC. They need to make a joint claim for ESA.

Shnookina

Thanks for your comments, I have 3 children.... 18months, 6 and 10.

The option for me looking for work right now is not there as my partner is ill and cant leave him to look after the children. I have researched into this as much as possible and yes i know we have to make changes for low money, if we can claim joint esa then i think we can scrape by. we are going to see citisans advice tomorrow.

benefitbaby

I think (but please check this with an advice agency) this is a joint claim for ESA your partner would be lead claimant as the person who is unwell and you would be the primary carer of the children (and ignored for the purposes of the ESA work capability assessment).