Do I just quit?

thelittlestranger

Apologies in advance for the long post.

I currently work in admin and whilst at first I did love it, I now detest it. Massive changes have made it an awkward and tension-filled place to work.

For the past few months now, I have been signed off with severe anxiety and depression. My anxiety is probably the worst thing - I suffer panic attacks, I get almost claustrophobic when I can't 'get out' and I just can't begin to even think about going back to somewhere that I believe has fuelled a lot of my anxiety and depression.

I found out last night that there have been more changes made, and I will now be somewhere I'll hate even more. I've also lost responsibility for a couple of projects I was particularly responsible for. That responsibility meant the world to me, it gave me a reason to go in each day to think that despite my mental health issues, I was trusted with something so big.

Last night, I was in tears. The thought of going back to absolutely nothing, people walking on eggshells around me, and I won't have anyone I can confide in or talk to due to these changes just scares me if I'm honest.

I know this might sound pathetic to some, but my anxiety has really cast a dark shadow over my work capabilities. I'd love nothing more than to go back to college to retrain, but know it's not possible. I just don't want to go back, but I know quitting might mean I get a bad reference and I can't afford for that to happen.

Any advice please? x

Meadows

If you really can't cope to the extent that it is making you feel ill you could just resign, but in today's economic climate you might be a long while (if at all) getting another job and even then it might only be part time.
Can you afford not to work? What would make you more anxious the job or no income?

My daughter feels exactly the same but you have to weigh up what is better for you, go talk to your GP it may be that other issues are making work issues seem bigger or worse than they are.

davenport151

Hello little stanger- not sure I can help much but just wanted to reply.
They can't in effect give you a bad reference I dont think. What sort of notice would you have to give though? A week or month?

Sambucus_Nigra

davenport151 wrote: »

Hello little stanger- not sure I can help much but just wanted to reply.
They can't in effect give you a bad reference I dont think. What sort of notice would you have to give though? A week or month?

Yes, they can. what makes you think they can't?

OP - only you can decide whether to quit or not. but as a boss, if a staff member wasn't there to take responsibility for some projects and was signed off for months, then you can only assume that:
a - the project still have to continue so would have to be taken over by someone else
b - the stress of being responsible could have contributed to them being off sick for months.

Have you been to see HR or had an Occupational Health meeting?

thelittlestranger

Meadows wrote: »

If you really can't cope to the extent that it is making you feel ill you could just resign, but in today's economic climate you might be a long while (if at all) getting another job and even then it might only be part time.
Can you afford not to work? What would make you more anxious the job or no income?

I would love to work part time, I feel like it would be better for me, but I do worry about the money as I'm getting married next April. A lot of people say I should put my health first but I just can't seem to do it.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yes, they can. what makes you think they can't?

OP - only you can decide whether to quit or not. but as a boss, if a staff member wasn't there to take responsibility for some projects and was signed off for months, then you can only assume that:
a - the project still have to continue so would have to be taken over by someone else
b - the stress of being responsible could have contributed to them being off sick for months.

Have you been to see HR or had an Occupational Health meeting?

I completely understand someone else has to do it, and of course I'd encourage that someone else take over. I think my worries are is that I will go back to what? If you know what I mean? I have lost customer relationships, responsibilities, even colleague relationships. I feel like I'll just be starting all over again which just hurts me as I've worked through all my mental health problems to get here. I hope that doesn't sound too sad!!!

Meadows

thelittlestranger wrote: »

I would love to work part time, I feel like it would be better for me, but I do worry about the money as I'm getting married next April. A lot of people say I should put my health first but I just can't seem to do it.

Yes your health comes first but if you then stress about not being able to pay the bills this also contributes to ill health and it is easy for others to say this to you but they do not then face the worry of not meeting financial commitments, you need to talk to some one who can maybe help you through this (a professional).

You also say " I think my worries are is that I will go back to what?" Until you go back to work you don't know that these worries are unfounded, you have to at least try and see what the new job will hold, them from there make an informed decision before you decide either way.

We all get anxious when going back to work whether it be from a long holiday or illness, but you just have to go back and often it is a case of what on earth did I worry about! This does not address the claustrophobia but that is another issue.

Can you talk to HR and ask to be allowed to come back to work on a part time basis initially until you feel more confidant?

Dexie

I know it seems daunting returning to work after a long period away and especially so if you suffer from anxiety. But it might be an idea to return and give it a month or so with an open mind. It might not be as bad as you expect - and you will be going in with low expectations, which sometimes can be a good thing!

I also think you will find it easier to get another job (if you ultimately decide that's what you want) if you are looking from the basis of being in work/having recently worked, as opposed to being signed off sick.

*Scarlett

If you have been signed off sick for a few months - would your doctor recommend a phased return on reduced hours? It would probably be easier for you.

jollymummy

I was in the same boat 14 years ago, staff numbers had been cut, new aggressive management brought in and I still had to make the same targets, My doctor signed me off work for a month and said I'd burnt myself out. (I was also doing a p/t degree while I was working full time). He told me to take the time off to rethink my life and said that if I'd left it longer I'd have had a full breakdown.

I ended up going for counselling and resigning from my job - I was VERY lucky to be able to take a part time role instead working for a really lovely man, who happened to be a counsellor.

If I were in your situation, I'd look for another job while you're off work. It is easier in my experience to find a job when you are already working.

Good luck and by the way the company I worked for that put me under all that pressure was Action For Employment - it seems some things never change !!

davenport151

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yes, they can. what makes you think they can't?

Sorry that was always my impression that employers cant be negative in a reference. Though the point little stranger was making was more to do with the quitting part looking bad.

Dexie gives good advice re returning & possibly having a word with the right people.

Buellguy

davenport151 wrote: »

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yes, they can. what makes you think they can't?

Sorry that was always my impression that employers cant be negative in a reference. Though the point little stranger was making was more to do with the quitting part looking bad.

Dexie gives good advice re returning & possibly having a word with the right people.

They can - they just have to be able to prove the points in the reference