changing home telephone number

BlushingRose

pippasdog wrote: »

thanks everybody for your comments as i stated she is going to tell her hubby . unfortunately oldhand we all dont all live in a perfect world taking the moral highground is not very constructive the situation is what it is its easy to prejudge i thought this site was for mutual support.my friend is unfortunately like a lot of people is not very good with money and to soft with her kids things just got out of hand.she feels she has let everybody down .she was in a desperate state hopefully now thanks to some of your advice managed to confront her demons and deal with the situation thanks again as i said SHE IS GOING TO TELL HER HUSBAND oh to live in a perfect world

Who lives in a perfect world, I certainly don't, and I resent the suggestion that I said I did.

I, like others, are merely saying that the sooner she tells him the better and then they can deal with it together.

Lensman_2

This forum IS for help and support.

So I think most of the posters have made their point and you (and hopefully your friend) know how important it is that she straightens things out with her husband.

So - forum members - how should she do that?

I think she should arrange to get him away from the family home to a place like a pub, park or somewhere independent from their normal places. And talk it through with him. She needs to put it firmly "on the table" and allow him to walk away if he needs to.

oldhand

pippasdog wrote: »

thanks everybody for your comments as i stated she is going to tell her hubby . unfortunately oldhand we all dont all live in a perfect world taking the moral highground is not very constructive the situation is what it is its easy to prejudge i thought this site was for mutual support.my friend is unfortunately like a lot of people is not very good with money and to soft with her kids things just got out of hand.she feels she has let everybody down .she was in a desperate state hopefully now thanks to some of your advice managed to confront her demons and deal with the situation thanks again as i said SHE IS GOING TO TELL HER HUSBAND oh to live in a perfect world

I am certainly not taking any moral ground and I agree with your looking for support on here but from my own point of view your friend has dug a very deep hole not only for herself but her husband also and by trying to change her phone number she shows she is still trying to delay facing up to her problems,perhaps hoping if her creditors dont know her number they will simply go away.If you really want to help her you need to convince her she MUST sit down with her husband,tell him the full details leaving nothing out and then between them if he agrees to stay start to work on a way out.
I doubt now she has much more to lose,im sure shes having sleepless nights but sometimes our worst fears are the ones we create in our own minds and if their relationship is strong enough they can sort their problems out but the next step has to be letting him know,I wish her and him the best in their future.

pippasdog

thanks again for your replies blushingrose i didnt know your name was oldhand if you read what i said "oldhand we dont all live in a perfect world" all im trying to say is ok she has made mistakes like a lot of people on this site things just got out of hand and she is at last sorting things out .cccs have advised her to tell her husband which for the last time is is going to do once the dmp is in place. personally i agree with you all i would definately feel let down .she would rather tell him and then advise him she has a dmp in place (meet a negative with a positive so to speak if you can call a dmp a positive ) its her choice . oldhand thankyou for your latest comment much apprecciated sorry about earlier post thanks lensman for your advice also