Spending too much :-(

brainfreeze

Fritter wrote: »

i don't think my H is as worried as i am about the debt. he keeps going on that with two small kids we're at our worst finanically and that it will improve as i return to work more hours

Does your DH really understand the total amount of your debt?

I only had my lightbulb moment a few days ago and had tried talking to my DH about it but he had his head in the sand and said things would be okay now I'm back at work (was off long term sick). I typed up my first post on here and included our SOA and then told my DH to have a look and read the post. He knew straight away from my writing that it was our story of debt and he was shocked to see it all listed with aprs and amounts. He was mortified to read that we have total unsecured debt of over $64k. Huge wake up call for him. We have now talked and are working through everything together.

Perhaps if you put it in writing and put it under his nose it will make him think again.

Fritter

sorry for the delay in replying. not been able to get near the machine.

I do take on board what you say Chevalier, infact looking at my gas and electric bills (£75 & £89 for a semi) I do think I could shop around. But we seem to be carefull on the big stuff, we've managed to get 6mths free on our mobiles, we've got a fantastic mortgage rate but just let the rest of the money fall through our fingers.

I've been divvy up where we spend our money and this month we've spent £200 on gifts. I had no idea we spent that much. It was my OH's birthday but I seemed to get him lots of bits here and there and it was my neices birthday at the start of the month but I never knew we spent that much.

My OH appears to have taken out over £150 in cash this month but has no idea where it's gone, other than an ice cream here, lunch out at work there (he takes a packed lunch most of the week), that's a £150!

I seem to have handed my debit card over without thinking to the tune of £100, just £6 here and £3 there. No idea what I've bought.

Our food bill for this month, with one week to go, is £454.79, how'd that happen?

Bank charges of over £140 but they aren't responding to any communication about getting this back (total is over £1000).

Wanted to say thank you though. It's been an eye opener and we're divvying up the money better so that we both have pocket money and can't buy anything else. Lets hope it works.

Thanks again.

Sarah

Toto

Using cash is a great wake up call especially for the bigger nonsense spends (you know the browse around next which costs £80 on impulse). You say you are afraid of cutting up the debit card because of emergencies etc. How about freezing it in a tupperware of water. That way it's in tact should the need arise but not available for impulse spends.

Work out exactly what you need weekly for food etc and take that cash and that cash alone out of the bank. Be strict because while you are learning new habits it will be hard and the temptation will be strong. But soon you will find you could never understand mindless spending and you will walk around town feeling very proud of yourself watching people spending quite obviously pre-lightbulb.

roswell

4 words,

Pocket Money + Spending diary.

Give yourselves pocket money to spend as you wish, keep a spending diary to see where it goes, expect on the frist attempt to be pannyless in less than 2 weeks after pay day.

Fritter

i didn't realise how nerve racking this is writing all this down.

In - OHs wage £1870 mine £595 Tax credits/benefit £220

mortgage £575
supermarket £455 this includes clothes and is only for 3 weeks, not a months shopping
household bills £290 this includes NPower at £77 and £88 seems a bit much to me
£50 cable i've not included this in the bills as I can identify that it isn't essential although have just gone down to a lower package.
Gifts have cost £200 this month with two big birthdays
Car Loan £139
Credit Card minimum payment £140
Various store card/catalogues £40
Bank Charges £120
Annual subscriptions to kids play centres £100 annual cost
£80 clothes the girls needed some summer clothes and shoes.
£45 petrol
Car insurance is £50
£20 2 x union
Mobiles were £70 for 2 a month but now we've arranged deals where they are free for a while
Dining out £35 this is usually much much higher with two or three takeaways a week as well as going out for dinner
Then some misc
£80 cheques, random switch transactions £100, Cash £150, £160 spending whilst out on day trips to play centres and lots of other £20 here and £10 there.

We've basically been over spending by around £650 a month for the last year, sometimes more. Build in an extention and the costs over running and my husband using the credit card as a cash machine and not telling me, stir a little bit of "head in sand" syndrome and you have yourself what feels like alot of debt and a really disheartened couple.

Ta for reading this far I know it was long

Sarah -x-

Toto

Fritter wrote: »

i didn't realise how nerve racking this is writing all this down.

In - OHs wage £1870 mine £595 Tax credits/benefit £220

mortgage £575
supermarket £455 this includes clothes and is only for 3 weeks, not a months shopping this is really high, go over to the OS board, we feed a family of 5 for £200 a month
household bills £290 this includes NPower at £77 and £88 seems a bit much to me this is too high, shop around for cheaper deals and switch£50 cable i've not included this in the bills as I can identify that it isn't essential although have just gone down to a lower package. can you cancel? use freeview?Gifts have cost £200 this month with two big birthdays can you budget a set monthly amount paid into a savings account? failing that start saving £2 coins, join pigsback for vouchers and quidco for cashback
Car Loan £139
Credit Card minimum payment £140
Various store card/catalogues £40
Bank Charges £120 start claiming these back, hop over to the reclaim bank charges board
Annual subscriptions to kids play centres £100 annual cost
£80 clothes the girls needed some summer clothes and shoes. was this not already included in the supermarket spend? try ebay for clothes, charity shops, freecycle£45 petrol can you cut journeys, car share, give up the car?Car insurance is £50 is this the cheapest? check quidco for cashback deals
£20 2 x union
Mobiles were £70 for 2 a month but now we've arranged deals where they are free for a while how long is a while? go PAYG if possible
Dining out £35 this is usually much much higher with two or three takeaways a week as well as going out for dinner this has to go sorryThen some misc
£80 cheques, random switch transactions £100, Cash £150, £160 spending whilst out on day trips to play centres and lots of other £20 here and £10 there. start a spending diary and write down every penny you spend. All of this is likely to be mindless impulse spending and needs to stop
We've basically been over spending by around £650 a month for the last year, sometimes more. Build in an extention and the costs over running and my husband using the credit card as a cash machine and not telling me, stir a little bit of "head in sand" syndrome and you have yourself what feels like alot of debt and a really disheartened couple.

Ta for reading this far I know it was long

Sarah -x-

well done sarah, I have highlighted a few areas where you could easily cut some from the monthly spending. Make sure your SOA includes everything though, what about council tax, water rates, tv licence, car tax, mot etc?

Toto

Now, could you list all of your debts with APRs? have a look at https://www.whatsthecost.com this is a snowball calculator which will help you figure out how to start paying off the debt in the quickest time. To do a proper budget you should list all income, then essential outgoings, mortgage, bills, council tax, food, car stuff, tv, etc. Then all debts with aprs if possible, keep out the stuff which just random debit card spending because you are going to try and stop as many of those as possible, having a good budget is a great place to start.

Fritter

it'll be 2012 before I pay anything off keeping to the minimum payments. When I think about the ages of my girls they'll be teenagers :'-( I feel like such a faliure.

thank you for all your help, i will read all your suggestions again but feel like I need to raid my fridge right now.

thank you.sorry.

Sarah -x-

Mozette

Try not to just pay the minimum, have a play with the figures, if you can pay a set amount rather than just the minimum, see what a difference it can make to your debt free date. Don't be too hard on yourself, just decide that from now on you're going to do things differently, and choose to work towards being debt free, rather than getting further into debt. We're all in the same boat here; what's important is that you've seen the error of your ways. Mind you, a bar of chocolate doesn't half help sometimes...

iwilldoitthistime

your posts soooo remind me of myself. I too spend far too much in the supermarket - and then wonder why there is nothing in the fridge after the weekend! You have spurred me on to keep a diary for the next month, just to see where its all going to.

Also - your benefits seem high (and earnings are similar to my family) - can anyone give me the link to the benefits which Im allowed page?

thanks - and good luck - you are going the right way!!:T