Spending too much :-(

Fritter

Our incomings exceed our outgoings, not on things like mortgage and bills but just spending.
It's not even a lightbulb moment as the ease in which I've just got a loan and taken it in my stride is frightening. Every 2 years or so we remortgage to cover the exccess and carry on.
But I don't want to carry on like this. For all the money we spend we never spend it on anything in particular and the constant fear when I hand over my debit card is chilling. Will it be turned down?
My dad says that money burns a hole in my pocket and I think he's right. My husband's the same.

I've tried keeping a diary of what we spend but even then on weeks I feel like I'm being really tight we spend £300 on nothing. I'm considering cutting up the debit cards and only having access to a certain ammount of cash each month and when it's gone it's gone but I worry about emergencies and the kids. After 2 mths of keeping a diary we stop and are back to old habbits and the bank kindly offer us more loans.

I'm supposed to return to university this september but it would mean a drop in my income. On paper it looks tight but fine, but how are we supposed to do that when we can't even keep ontop of it all now with extra money.

Has anyone else been like this and managed to change their habbits. If my dad is right and this is the habbit of a life time (spend spend spend) then what do I do? How can I change this.

I think I understand why people talk about crippling debt now. I feel deflated and panicked.

Thank you for listening.

Fritter (as I fritter money).

pinkshoes

My brother sounds similar to you i.e. always spending more than he has, and doesn't have alot to show for it! He's sorted himself out now though!! (just about...)

Rather than working out what you do spend, work out what you NEED to spend i.e. make a sensible shopping list for an entire week, some money for a meal out, bus fares/petrol etc... then leave that amount in your account, and transfer the rest into a savings account where you'll get interest on it.

OR... work out exactly how much you need in a week, take it out in CASH, then put your bank card away so you can't use it. Only take cash out once a week, and ONLY that amount.

It's not a habit of a lifetime - you just need to ask yourself if you really need it each time you buy something!

immoral_angeluk

We were the same. We'd regularly be looking as a scary bank balance and saying where did it all go? It takes a lot of self control to change but you need to bite the bullet and be 100% commited or else it simply won't work.

Fritter

thanx,
i've read your diary IA and I've done what you did in your first week and spent hours listing loads of things on ebay.
i hate to think what it would all be worth at what i paid for it and so much isn't used.
in your diary you talk of challenges, were abouts are these on the site or did you set yourself them?
you seem so focused, i hope i can do this.
Fritter

Storm

Hi Fritter and welcome to DFW :hello:

I personally have found dealing in cash only has been a huge help, as I think far more about handing over a £20 note than I do using the card.

As for the challenges - there's loads on here you can join in with, either paying off a certain amount within a certain time, making money through Ebay etc or restricting your spending.

Is your OH up for this as much as you? If not it will make things more difficult as if he buys stuff for himself you're more likely to give up too & buy yourself a treat. You could always put it to him that you need to practise living within what your combined income will be once you go back to uni, and put the rest either towards debts you've got or in an ISA.

Fritter

WOW, you've made real head way on your debt, that's fantastic.
i don't think my H is as worried as i am about the debt. he keeps going on that with two small kids we're at our worst finanically and that it will improve as i return to work more hours, kids don't need shoes every 6 weeks etc. but i'm a little more worried.
the idea about keeping to the new budget is a brilliant one and i'll put it to him later. we need to sit and chat as i know he has cc debts but he plays them down to me but i can see the miniumum ammounts go out each month so i can guess they are pretty big.
have challenged myself to ebay enough to clear the Next a/c by the end of the month.

thanx everso means alot that people are taking the time to reply.

daphne_descends

double post, oops!

daphne_descends

fritter - that's exactly what me and OH were doing. no big spends, just a coffee and a paper here and there, cigarettes (we have both given up), a few drinks, books (guilty and still struggling with this) and food - wonder round M&S after work 'just for something for dinner' - £20 later and nothing for the following day! Expensive lunches, lottery tickets... it soon adds up. I started analysing my bank statements and discovered I was taking out about £300 cash each month - despite paying for most food, travel, bills, and all those luxuries by debit card. Where did it all go?

immoral angel is absolutely right, if you're not committed it will NOT work, but it is easy when you're doing it, and I think baby steps can help to get you there - start of by meal planning for example, then give up the coffees etc and before you know it, it all becomes second nature.

We were both terrible spenders but now we're doing really well. The motivation now is that I'm pregnant and a year ago we would've been completely panicked at the idea of losing one salary, now we are taking it in our stride and are quite confident that we can manage because we've learnt new habits. Anyone can do it

tealady

If its any help Fritter (love the name by the way, it's me to a T). Try something I read about called Tantric shopping. Basically if you see something you want you make a note of where it it and the price and wait at least 24 hours to see how much you really want it. I have saved loads that way (but I have slipped in the last 2 months though)

Mindy_2

You definitely aren't alone in this Fritter, we have horrendous debts which have all been caused by spending way beyond our means.

We have had holidays which we should never have booked let alone gone on, and then when the time has come instead of saying we can't go we've tried to do it on a budget - like last year when we went to New York - what a waste of money, we were so paranoid about spending any money that most nights we went to the Subway up the road and bought food, one for DH and one for me and DS to share! We did it on an absolute budget, couldn't do any nice things as the money just wasn't there. I wish we had just stayed at home, the holiday was no fun at all.

When I look round at my house, I would be hard pressed to be able to say where about £10,000 had gone, and of course what I bought then isn't worth the same money now.

Easy come, easy go. All our credit cards were maxed out, and panic had set in.

After LBM, we should be free from debt (except the mortgage) in 5 years, but it involves a lot of being strict with ourselves. Taking packed lunches to work, having to say to DS that we can't afford the things he wants.

You both need to sit down, work out where the money is going, look at all your credit cards and loans and just see how long it will take to pay off if you carry on paying the minimum.

Go to https://www.whatsthecost.co.uk and put up a snowball - you enter all your cards with the balances and interest rates, how much you can afford to pay in total for the month over all the cards, the snowball puts them in interest rate order and shows how long it will take to pay them all off.

Good luck!

chevalier

You say that you don't overspend on mortgage or bills. But are you sure. If you fritter away your disposable income, does that also mean that you don't check to see whether you can get cheaper car, building, contents, life insurance, that you are with the cheapest gas/electric/broadband/mobile phone provider.

Even if you don't want to post a statement of affairs yet (which would help us spot overspending:D )You can still check out whether you are overpaying on these, and the money you save can be put towards paying off your debts.

Sign up to https://www.quidco.com if you are not already registered as many insureres/utilities give cash back if you switch via them
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