The psychological effects of an IVA.

Sluggy

My Wife and I have recently entered into an IVA with Payplan.

My question is about the psychological effects of an IVA.

Let me explain.

Having met my wife some 11 years ago, both of us were coming out of messy divorces, we enjoyed our time together building a new home and expanding our family.

Times were good, the spending, whilst never exuberant began to slowly but surely rely on the use of credit cards and loans to get us what we wanted.

Eventually not realising (or indeed ignoring) the warning signs, more and more of our income was getting swallowed up in monthly repayments. This would have been ok if the spending stopped there, but it didn’t.

Over the last couple of years, we have lived hand to mouth. Paying the minimum amount on our Credit Cards and then spending on them again to get the basics. Mentally it was exhausting, financially it was crippling.

Finally in July this year I had my light bulb moment. I realised that things couldn’t go on as they were. Our minimum monthly repayments were over £2k a month on over £83k of debt. I think two more months and we wouldn’t be able to pay the mortgage.

I approached Payplan after reading about other experiences on this site. The process so far has been pretty painless and the monthly payments are comfortable, even allowing us to save a little for a rainy day, as it should.

Now we get to the crux of the problem. Having struggled so hard for the last couple of years to keep our head above water, that pressure is now gone. We’ve actually got more spending money than we’ve had for years. We’re actually saving!

My problem is, where’s the euphoric moment? I expected the moment the Creditors meeting was over and we learned that the IVA had been accepted, a massive weight would lift from our shoulders. I thought as the months roll by, it might turn up eventually, but it hasn’t.

Has anyone else had this anti-climax? Or is this the way I’m supposed to feel?

FavDaughter1

hi, we did a Full &Final IVA about 18mths ago with my parents help,we are repaying them monthly.

it takes a while to sink in. it is bizzar to feel you've actually got more money in a way because you can REALLY pay for things like food isn't it? be careful to put allowances for dental etc away.

IVA's/BR whatever way your settling your debts isn't a quick fix,i find the long term-ness of it depressing even though it's so,so much better than where we were. could you be a bit low?? if yes talk to your Dr. i've only recently talked to mine&feel better for it.

perhaps it is the realisation that getting the IVA accepted is only the start? there is also admitting to yourself the mistakes made,maybe counselling might help?

Christmas is coming,save what you can so you can enjoy some nice treats, my hubby loves a certain larger,i love Thorntons chocolates.there is such a thankful feeling to have food,heat,the tv on with a good film with a roof over your head. like you we couldn't have gone on paying the mortgage. hang in there x

dancingfairy

Hi. I haven't got through an IVA or bankruptcy but here's my thoughts on it for you. Everybody deals with things differently, for some they might feel shame, fear, relief, whatever. It will be different for everybody depending on what led to the circumstances. Also there may not be a massive euphoric feeling ,what if maybe you just feel a little better everyday until one day you realise you are no longer worrying? Also it tooks years to get to this point so it might take a few years for your brain to process things the other way.
Basically, I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. Try and chill, look forward to the future, give yourself a few treats. If you are really struggling with feeling a certain way/not feeling a certain way then perhaps a chat to the doctor/some counselling might help?
df

RangersPete

My wife and I finished our payments in April this year, I think our eureka moment was being accepted for our IVA and the thought of no more letters or phone calls . I am hoping that receiving the completion certificate sometime and checking our 'blank' credit reports next year will at least match that feeling?
Good luck to you :beer:

FiatFan_2

Our situation wasn't too different from yours. Their was a fair bit of relief having the creditors agree our iva. There is still some guilt/shame/embarrassment, especially when some annoying adverts come on tv/radio.

The biggest relief's for me so far are not having to worry where the shopping money will come from, how to afford other necessities and the biggest is knowing when we've underspent we save a little and treat ourselves to a meal out which we had given up on when the debt was piling up.

jsmith9156

When I started my IVA back in 2006 I didn't really feel any relief at all, Yes it was nice not getting demanding letter or phone calls any more, But all I could think about was how money was going to be tight for 5 years.
I have to say that the 5 years seemed to pass very quickly for me, I started to forget about the IVA and just left the payments to come out of my account month by month... Actually having money to buy food/petrol/clothes was a strange feeling. I still couldn't believe I got an allowance for clothes within my IVA as before it was accepted I could afford to buy such things!

The felling of relief came in September 2011 when I made my last IVA payment, Suddenly I didn't owe anybody money, It was all mine!!

The next happy milestone is when all the defaults and IVA drop off your credit file.

James

ciderwithrosie_2

I guess because although you are now managing your debt, 5 years is still a long period of time before you see the end of it. The same bills still need paying during this time, items still need to be replaced (e.g. the washing machine packs up). We are 8 months away from finishing ours and I keep praying we make it - we both work full-time but there's no such thing as a safe job these days and my OH long-term health is always a bit of a worry (diabetic for 43 years).

There will be a lot of relief when we make that last payment but we will still be credit black listed and that has to be repaired and we then need to start spending some of the money left over each month on doing up our house - been sadly neglected for the last few years and it shows. I did say to our boys though, this will be the last of the frugal Christmases, providing everything goes to plan, we'll be able to spend a bit more next year and I shall look forward to that most definitely.

Best of luck with your journey!

milliemonster

For us, 18 months in, the euphoric moment never comes, I guess it probably does when you get to the end, after the initial relief of acceptance, it is just the thought of the slog to get through the next 5 years, I try to think of it as a loan I'm paying each month, but because I earn unsocial hrs payments on top of my salary I have extra to pay across every month on top so it doesn't feel like a straightforward loan repayment that I can just forget about.

I always feel like I'm counting down and wishing our lives away and urging the day to come when it's over, life in an IVA for us isn't hard though so far, it's much easier being able to budget properly and save for things we want and need, although we have had the odd month where things have been very tight!

We're actually hoping after xmas to save hard next year (by me saving all my unsocial that we're allowed to keep) and put forward a F&F at the end of the year to finish early, but it will mean a year of extreme frugalness and luck that nothing goes wrong that needs replacing which we all know doesn't happen in real life!, we'll let you know how we get on

FavDaughter1

our debt came as a huge shock to me,my husband had been taking cards out in secret & even a £15k loan:eek:. he admits he can't control himself with credit cards - big admission for him. he'd arranged things in secret & then lied telling me i'd agreed to them i.e a overdraft on our bank account. this worried me because i couldn't remember. he now admits he set these things up on line without my knowledge. i was so terribliy hurt that he could have let me worry like that. there was so much secrecy. he said he was desperate.

our Full & Final IVA went through almost 2 years ago. he keeps telling me how well we're doing paying my parents back the £ they lent us for the IVA. the more he's gone on about it the more down i seemed to become. i realised i'm frightened of "getting straight",he's promised me "no more cards,ever again,i promise" before,it's very hard having heard it all before.

i felt so ashamed of the mess we were in(i had a small balance on a card too) that i told no one except my parents. in the end i went to see my Dr & poured it out to her. we went together to see her today. i feel so much better for talking to her & it gave me hope because he admitted it all out loud. She told him he is like a alcholic who shouldn't ever have a drink - she told him he should not EVER have a cc again. he's agreed to go & talk to someone about it. this has really given me HOPE.

perhaps i've given him the shock he needed,i've opened a basic bank account for just me - told him about it & my Dr,i will have my £ paid in there if he starts it all up again. i can't go through the terror of no £ for food again. i will go BR if he does it again.
i can't live my life in debt.
he's good to me in every other way & i love him dearly.