How Far is TOO Far..Longish one this...

vansboy

Hi All!!

Really like your thoughts here - I've duplicated it in House Buying & Relationships Forums, so I'll only expect an answer, on one of them, if you think you can help!!

OK, so we've been house hunting for ages it seems - around 6months in reality- haven't found anything except the one I was on about weeks ago & trying to get the seller to agree an amount he'd accept.

Anyway, yes the house is potentially what would suit us, I won't say fell in love with it, but it certainly ticks plenty of boxes, EXCEPT.....

After doing a few trips to see it & timing our journeys, it's only 68miles, or around 1 1/2 hours, on good roads, from there, to Mr's V's Mum n Dad & her friends.

Her parents are late 60's & in OK health, fortunatly & near where we live, now, so easy to visit & around 20minutes in case of emergency. They are in warden controled council bungalows, all in good repair & quite settled, but we do realize anything can happen, as we all appreciate. Obvious concerns there, then.

Her friends are local to here - going out with or meeting them maybe 3 nights a week, would mean a LOT of miles & time, in reality, so not too good for her, to loose contact & it'd end up being a chore, rather than fun, I'd guess.

The new place is in a small village - no services, very neat n tidy, mostly retired, very few young families - were 40something & no kids, ourselves, so would be VERRRRY quiet, compared to what we're used too!!

No problems for me, work wise, 'cos I'm mobile in my job buying vehicles, can manage WHEREVER we end up & am OK with the semi rural idea - it's only 2 miles from a reasonable sized town anyway!!

I really don't want to get this wrong for her, as we can do without moving again, for a loooooong time!!

So to ask the Q's, anyone done similar & lived happily ever after - or gone crazy, living in a small village, after being minitues from friends & not really wanting to be there?

Or do you think it's not too far to meet your current pals & would you do the travelling, for your nights out?

Hope this makes sense!! Really ANY input greatly appreciated!!

Thanks in advance!

VB

[Deleted User]

If you have a choice then my advice would be not to opt for somewhere that is going to entail lots of travelling back. You might not mind, but your OH will probably get fed up - especially if her close friends are not prepared to come and visit her sometimes and leave her to do all the visiting.

I once moved 12 miles from my closest friends and NONE of them were ever prepared to come over to see me. (Some friends!) We've drifted apart - it seems distance DOES matter if people are not willing to make an effort to maintain the friendship and if you are the ones to move away then you may end up being made to feel you have to do all the running to maintain friendships.

As someone who has no choice at all but to drive to work at all different times day or night, I have really had enough of having to travel. The roads are just so congested. For a 22 mile journey it can, depending on time of day, take me over an hour.

I am looking to work locally but until something comes up I have no choice. If you really don't have to contend with the travelling then don't.

Thinking ahead, when road pricing or whatever comes in - you may find it will cost even more.

Spendless

vansboy wrote: »

So to ask the Q's, anyone done similar & lived happily ever after - or gone crazy, living in a small village, after being minitues from friends & not really wanting to be there?

Yes I have. Moved to mr Spendless' flat when he was my boyfriend. Couldn't find work there and had discovered I was pregnant. He lived in a flat, so all neighbours were elderly or out at work so I was very lonely. It was a beautiful place to live but it drove me stir crazy and I moved back to our home town, thankfully he followed.

What does mrs vansboy think, does she work for example, so might in time find new friends thru that.

Justie

I think if you move that far away then you'll find friendships dwindling and unless you make an effort you'll find it harder to make new friends in a village of that sort of demographic... If the town is close by though that could give you a lifeline but you'd need to put work into building new friendships.

gingercordial

What has she said about the idea so far?

mum2kathryn

I've read through your post and can't see what is actually drawing you to this house?
It isn't near your family of friends
It isn't any nearer your work
It isn't a better community
There aren't any nearby facilities
It's only OK not great

If your other half isn't working (and I don't know whether she drives and has access to a car or not) she is likely to feel very isolated. I don't think buying a house just because its the best of a bad bunch is a good enough reason.

Pink_butterfly_3

This is my own personal experience.

When I first moved to be with Mr Pink, we lived in a small village (I lived in London before). I hated every second of it there. It put a huge strain on our relationship as I was so unhappy.

We eventually moved to a nearby city and its made such a difference. We've since got married and now we've got two babies but i can't imagine still living in that village as a stay at home mum. I was able to make friends here, their are tonnes of facilities and theres lots of places for us to go and things for us to do.

vansboy

Thanks to you all for your comments, looks like it might be the wrong place for us, after all.

& regarding Mrs V's thoughts - pretty much what you all say!!

& yes she does have a car & would work from home, so could make the journeys back, but probably end up knackerd, at the end of them!!

Thanks again!

VB

Savvy_Sue

i will never forget reading the "Which" guide to buying and selling a house, years and years ago.

It pointed out that there was one thing, and one thing only, which could NEVER be changed about a house.

And that is its location ...

I think if you have to ask the question, the house is in the wrong place ...

Poppy9

Agree with Savvy- trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, even if you don't know why, then don't do it.

Morglin

"So to ask the Q's, anyone done similar & lived happily ever after - or gone crazy, living in a small village, after being minutes from friends & not really wanting to be there?"


I lived in London for 50 years, and loved it.:j

Then, I met a man who lived in East Sussex, by the coast, and so I moved down here. We lived there a couple of years, and now live 20 miles inland, in a tiny hamlet about 50 miles from the family and my friends.

I don't drive, he does and both of us are (medically) retired.

I hate it - totally hate it.:rolleyes:

It's rural, isolated and I miss London, and all the people I know there, every day.

I want to get back to seeing my family and friends at least a few times a week.

I can't get used to the so called "country idyll" - and OH has finally caved in and agreed we can move back to London as soon as possible.:T :T :j

But, it really depends on the type of person you are - I am gregarious and chat to anyone - many villagers consider you outsiders until you have been here about 50 years.

There is also the issue (for me), that so many want to know so much about you (and what they don't know, they invent), so that they can chew the cud at the next "Post Office meet".

I find the local WI formidable - I don't want to join it, but they appear unable to accept that lol:rolleyes:

Buses and trains are crap - no buses after 6pm and none weekends.

Taxi's are expensive (and it's hard to get them to come out).

15 Miles to the local supermarket and any other proper shop. The village shop is very expensive and limited in what they sell.

Sorry if I sound bitter here - probably at least half of the problems I have here are down to me, but I've accepted that I'm a townie, and will never take the view that looking out on glorious countryside is sufficient compensation for living out here.:rolleyes:

Lin