ESA tricky situation...?

microserfs

I went to the JCP today because the last I've heard anything was about a month ago when ATOS cancelled my appointment, and I wanted to know what was going on with the transfer.



I had to call three different departments, all of which knew nothing and put me through to someone else before I got through to income support who told me there was nothing on their system saying anything. I'm still getting paid from IS but my transfer has not happened yet, and god knows.


My partner got a letter this morning for his medical. He doesn't have any evidence to help his case and he's on my claim as I'm the main claimant but he is the main caregiver for baby, and I am unable to look after myself or baby due to my depression reaching an all time low and my dyspraxia and mental stability. (I have other health problems too with my bowels, bladder, acid reflux and anxiety)



Okay so my problem is that I want to break up with my partner as nothing is going well anymore and hasn't for a long time, I don't feel the same and we don't get along the same… however we have shared finances due to our claim being a joint claim, and if he leaves (with baby), I don't know what will happen with this claim which is currently in limbo… or if it was even going to be a joint claim or if they were only giving me an answer after assessing partner because they still have no clue about my decision.
If I broke up with him (he would obv move out) would I have to go on assessment rate or would my IS just drop to single person rate (what it was before I got with him) and the transfer would go ahead as single person claim to ESA? I know nobody is likely to know, or have been in my situation, but ATOS said they had no need to see me for a medical so I have no clue what this means for me and why its taking so long for the decision. I'm worried that they'll have to restart the whole process again and I'll be without money for a while or on assessment rate which wouldnt cover my bills at all.


I'm still elegible for IS and still getting paid but obviously atm its at the couples rate (with disability/sick premium). So I'm hoping it would just switch, but I can't be sure of this… I can't afford to be in debt but I know my partners claim would be quicker because of a) the baby and b) his would be a new claim.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

i think what is best here, is that instead of making any harsh decisions, i take it youve been diagnosed with Post natal depression?.

whilst things may seem hard and difficult and home life not the same as it was before, making this decision is going to change your life your OH life and baby's life forever and the harsh reality is is that if you get the treatment you require to help you through this, then the light at the end of the tunnel may not be so bright for you in the aftermath of your possibly ill decisions.

i suggest that you seek your GP and tell him your intentions, how your feeling, and what home life is like for you, perhaps your OH can also go with you to give his side, perhaps there maybe a short term treatment while you access more longer term treatments and support from refurals.

i would say not to worry at the moment about benefits and let them run their course untill your written to, perhaps the GP can also support you via a letter to ESA or IS explaioning what is happening aswell.

i think you need to seek help and support whether you split up with OH or whether you dont, have that support network there for whatever you decide, by seeking GP help or health visitors help.

microserfs

I've had depression/anxiety for many years since I was fifteen and the depression has hit harder since having the baby, so I was always prone to what could be PND I suppose, but I'm also seeing secondary mental health care anyway, have a care-coordinater, therapists, psychiatrist etc.

My health visitor is aware of current situation, as is GP, and ESA have had supporting letters from GP and mental health teams already which is why my medical was cancelled and my case was sent to DWP as my case is quite severe (I've been having suicidal tendencies etc)

It is something I need help with on the decision I guess, I don't like to rush into decisions but I've been feeling this way for a while and want to bring it to an end after trying so hard for so long.

As for my decision regarding the baby etc.. I have been unable to care for him since birth (also due to other health issues too) and I still feel that although I want the baby to be in best care possible and happy etc that I am not able to do this as I've always had issues like this, I just want the best for him.

Thanks though, hopefully I'll be able to work out the best decision for everyone.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

microserfs wrote: »

I've had depression/anxiety for many years since I was fifteen and the depression has hit harder since having the baby, so I was always prone to what could be PND I suppose, but I'm also seeing secondary mental health care anyway, have a care-coordinater, therapists, psychiatrist etc.

My health visitor is aware of current situation, as is GP, and ESA have had supporting letters from GP and mental health teams already which is why my medical was cancelled and my case was sent to DWP as my case is quite severe (I've been having suicidal tendencies etc)

It is something I need help with on the decision I guess, I don't like to rush into decisions but I've been feeling this way for a while and want to bring it to an end after trying so hard for so long.

As for my decision regarding the baby etc.. I have been unable to care for him since birth (also due to other health issues too) and I still feel that although I want the baby to be in best care possible and happy etc that I am not able to do this as I've always had issues like this, I just want the best for him.

Thanks though, hopefully I'll be able to work out the best decision for everyone.

believe me you not alone in that i too suffer MH issues, somedays are better than others, and strains the family to an extent, what support is your OH getting in all this, i suppose the focus has been on working with you, to get you better in your mental state, but what about your OH, the added pressures of looking after the baby aswell the house and income, and trying to do best by you, eventhough it may seem that its the opposite my be bearing him down also this is where friction comes into it and the arguments start and that vicious circle starts and it seem the only way out it to eliminate one to concerntrate on the other. my MH almost tore me and my wife appart but we worked on it together after we both sat down and laid it all out on the table about we both feel mentally, how we can focus on repairing what is broken and then not returning back to that stage and put it behicnd us, and get the support we both needed.

theres alot to think about but explore all avenues before you can definately say that the end of the road.

i suppose your thinking its best they move away from you because you feel like your a burden to them and want them to have a life thats better than now because you feel helpless, but that would be a selfish decision, if thats the way you feel you must talk and include your OH in let him know how you feel and you should listen to his side also. then work around it from there, perhaps both of you push for support to be included form the GP, MHT, and perhaps many other organisations such as MIND can help you.