Seperated and wants to take kids to Scotland for holiday

pag78

I have been seperated from my partner (never married) and have two young boys 5 and 2, both born after 2003 and im on both birth cirtificates, i have plenty of access to the kids (3pm till 8pm four days aweek plus 3pm till the following 3pm one day aweek).

I live in manchester about a mile from thier mother and school but have family who live in Stranraer Scotland and want to take them on holiday there during the half term. I have asked thier mothers permission (3.5 weeks notice) to take them away (not that i need it in england or wales) without telling her where i was planning to go, she has agreed to let me take them away but knowing i have family thier and presuming so has refused to let me cross the border to scotland with our sons (even just for four days!!!)

Please con someone help with advice or explain my rights!!!
Thanks. Paul.

clearingout

why would you simply not tell her where you were intending to go and make sure she had the address and contact details?

pag78

clearingout wrote: »

why would you simply not tell her where you were intending to go and make sure she had the address and contact details?

She knows all the contact details, wasnt trying to be devisive but the law is different in scotland (i think) and i knew she would be as awkward as possible if she knew, she is trying to be controling, nothing more, i have had to practically shut my life down to stop her interfearing.

kelpie35

You seem to have a good relationship with your ex regarding access, would it be possible for your relatives to either phone your ex or your ex phoning them to discuss the visit.

It might help to put your ex's mind at ease.

Hope you manage to work something out.

pag78

kelpie35 wrote: »

You seem to have a good relationship with your ex regarding access, would it be possible for your relatives to either phone your ex or your ex phoning them to discuss the visit.

It might help to put your ex's mind at ease.

Hope you manage to work something out.

no we dont - i have all that access essentialy because she doesnt want them all that much, shes too concerned about her social life (dont get me wrong, she does love her kids), she does work but if it wasnt for the benefits, shed let me have them and would be happy for access at weekends!!!

clearingout

kind of works both ways the control thing? You not telling her where the children will be taken is controlling in itself, perhaps?!

yes, the Law is different. I doubt she's got a leg to stand on, however, if you are up front and honest and put in writing that you intend to take them to X address to see family from A to B date and that you will return them, traffic permitting, by C time on B day. In same letter/e-mail note that she has already agree to you taking the children away.

If you do that, you're covered, I should think, if she were to take it into court and accuse you of kidnapping. It would be best, however, to get her 'permisson' (approval?) and to try and negoiate..at some point she'll want to go away herself and it is worth a gentle reminder of this.

As an aside, personally, 3.5 weeks notice wouldn't be enough for me. Holidays need to be planned several months in advance with agreement on both sides as you both need to be able to organize your lives and have quality time with the children. Another reason for planning in advance is the court system will support you if your ex refuses to allow you to take the children away. You could simply go to court for a Specific Issues Order which, unless you have previously made threats not to return the children, would ordinarily be granted. You wouldn't need a solicitor for this. See Families Need Fathers and wikivorce for advice and support on self-repping in court.

so, assuming you've not been daft enough to say that she'll never see the children again (it does happen to the best of us!), I can't see a problem. I'm not an expert, however, just someone who is incredibly long in the divorce tooth.....

kelpie35

pag78 wrote: »

no we dont - i have all that access essentialy because she doesnt want them all that much, shes too concerned about her social life (dont get me wrong, she does love her kids), she does work but if it wasnt for the benefits, shed let me have them and would be happy for access at weekends!!!

Oh sorry my mistake.

Not too sure I have any other advice to offer.

I am sure someone with more experience in these things will be along shortly to help you.

Jinx

We're all part of the UK (Im in Scotland) so although its a different country I dont know what law stops you taking your children across the Border - especially since it doesnt require passports etc (well yet, as I keep telling my English hubby lol) Certainly no legal bod though..... Sounds like shes just being stupid!

Seanymph

The law affecting you and your children doesn't change when your location does.

You and they are subject to English law, even if they are in Scotland.

As to taking them to visit family - she can't dictate what you do when you are with them.