Feeling so down and like such a fool :(

katy_ann

I suffer with depression, a lot from the money troubles and a lot from health problems Ive got, anyways I got some extra money this payday which was going to go straight onto my debt. However yesterday I was so down and just felt so low and wasnt thinking straight, I just went into town a blew about £150 on clothes and shoes Now I feel so stupid and foolish and the first thing I am doing today is heading straight back to town to return these things! Luckily none of them even made it out of their bags or got tried on. It was like I just needed to spend and in the back of my mind knew that the items would be back in the shop the next day.

I just feel so foolish

McKneff

Dont feel foolish, you have at least realised that you did the wrong thing although it probably felt good at the time.
Dont take them all back, keep one or two things that you would really like to keep and take the rest back. We all need a treat now and again.

Good luck.

loubie_lou

Don't worry Katy, at least you have seen sense and they are going back today. If you ever feel like doing it again just come on here and blow off some steam. We're free self help if you like.

You'll be fine

jubilee14

Katy_ann i think you should be very proud that you recognised that you over spent. You are in the right direction. My debts are huge and i dont have much to show for it. i start my DMP on the 1st too and i am feeling nervous and anxious about spending but there are some things we just do need, feeling down or not. good idea to pick something out ( if you can afford and not too expensive to keep) Next month we will be on the road to reducing our debt.

katy_ann

Thank you everyone I think I will just be taking everything back as I dont need any of it, its nothing that I really want! I knew as I was tapping my pin into the machine that the "dress" would be back on a hanger in the shop by 3pm the next day! x

PHYTHIAN

Katy-ann,

So what if you've treated yourself? you got extra money and just for once, you've rewarded yourself, good for you!

The important part to me is that you have recognised that you have a debt problem and are taking action to resolve it. A treat once in a while ain't a bad thing and maybe makes the painful weeks/months seem a lot easier.

loubie_lou

Have you got a lot of clothes you never wear anymore? Maybe you sell a few bits on ebay and with that money either pay off some debt or use it to buy something you really like. You'll be making some space and then maybe you won't feel as guilty.

The guys on here are right, we all need to treat ourselves sometime

antonic

You know waht my treat to myself is ??

On a friday, spending £2.80 on a cumberland sausage and crispy bacon, with red sauce on brown toast.

Katy - Ann YOU are allowed to treat yourseld and I detect positive signs in that AFTER you bought the clothes/shoes you realised you didnt need them and will take them back.

Well done and good luck !

JayC1987

Most of us have been their and done that. Shopping is addictive, it makes you feel good. I've been a sucker for it. You're not alone. As many people have said you can treat yourself!!!!

FBaby

PHYTHIAN wrote: »

Katy-ann,

So what if you've treated yourself? you got extra money and just for once, you've rewarded yourself, good for you!

The important part to me is that you have recognised that you have a debt problem and are taking action to resolve it. A treat once in a while ain't a bad thing and maybe makes the painful weeks/months seem a lot easier.

The problem is that it seems the shopping treat wasn't a conscious decision but a compensing reaction which is exactly what get people in trouble. Justifying later by saying that it is ok to treat oneself is what takes people into the doom of debt. Shopping is an addiction, and like telling yourself it is ok to have a drink because you had a stressful day, you deserve it and it is only one anyway and won't do any harm. Considering the OP is depressed because of her money troubles in the first place, impulsive shopping trips to make her depression better is only delaying feeling worse.

OP, don't beat yourself up. It doesn't matter that you went and spent the money as you are now going to take it back. No harm done at all, your bank balance won't show sign of it

PHYTHIAN

FBaby wrote: »

The problem is that it seems the shopping treat wasn't a conscious decision but a compensing reaction which is exactly what get people in trouble. Justifying later by saying that it is ok to treat oneself is what takes people into the doom of debt. Shopping is an addiction, and like telling yourself it is ok to have a drink because you had a stressful day, you deserve it and it is only one anyway and won't do any harm. Considering the OP is depressed because of her money troubles in the first place, impulsive shopping trips to make her depression better is only delaying feeling worse.

OP, don't beat yourself up. It doesn't matter that you went and spent the money as you are now going to take it back. No harm done at all, your bank balance won't show sign of it

Does giving oneself a treat once in a while always cause people to get into further trouble as you seem to claim? It can have the exact opposite effect to what you say. Many people get depressed because they cannot 'see the wood for the trees' and in this instance the depression could just as well stem from the fact the OP is working for little or no immediate reward as from the guilt of making a purchase.

Having said that I see the point you are making in that this was an impulse purchase and can lead to more. The quicker the debt is paid off the better the OP will feel however, I see no harm at all in having short terms,realistic targets where the person can say ' For every £1000 I clear, I'll give myself a little treat'. Hopefully the depression of seeming to be stuck in a rut will then be alleviated.