my situation, IS, HB and student, advice ?

Dunroamin

specialkthefirst wrote: »

Yes I have known him for a year but only been together a few months

It seems the best thing for us to do is move in together even though there's no way we can afford it

Being a grown up is not fun! Lol

Shacking up with someone who you've only been in a relationship with for a few months is hardly being grown up!

FBaby

Good for you for doing an SOA, that is indeed the first step to your planning to move together. However, it does very much highlight how you are not ready at all to do it. You are massively down each month on the budget you've set yourself for. High cost for the car/driving, mobile, entertaining, I assume most of this being your boyfriend's costs. Does he realise that these would have to go to be able to afford to be with you? Is he really prepared to do so? You might have to take on an evening jobs whilst he looks after your child, are you both prepared to do it? In the end, if you are to make a go of it, it will come to that anyway, but it is a very big step and one you are best to build yourself up mentally before you are faced with the consequences. As it is, you guys will be in significant debts in 6 months time, that's not a way to start a serious relationship, especialy with a young child.

DaisyFlower

Surely if you have only been dating a couple of months your partner is rarely at your house and certainly not staying over as you have a child therefore you would have nothing to fear from the benefits office.

Moving in with practically a stranger and expecting him to provide financial support to yourself and a child is sheer madness.

specialkthefirst

I am in such a mess I am getting all the numbers and costs of everything messed up ,I need to sit down and do it all properly

I was nervous to post in the begining because people would say about him moving in too quick, I really wouldn't even think about it but I know its right and somehow we will make it work. Please don't be angry at my decision ,we have both thought long and hard about it

Thanks for everyones replys I have read all of them carefully and we both have a lot of sorting out to do about how much money we will have to live on.

specialkthefirst

I can't risk being done for fraud and he knows that so best he moves in, this is how I feel but most of u don't agree. And also we won't get into debt because I am good with spending and saving ect

skintmacflint

For someone so young you seem to be fairly sensible in most respects and are making the time to study and have a career.

However have to say, my G. Daughter's friend was in a similar postion to you. A single parent in her own accomodation with a 2 year old, doing a college course in hospitality management with the aim of securing decent employment and secure future for her and her child.

New boyfriend in full time work moved in after going out together maybe 7 to 9 months. He previously lived with his parents. All went well until a few months later she had to announce she was pregnant again ( despite the usual precautions ), following which within 3 months loved up new partner had abandoned ship.

A very messy period followed. DNA test to prove paternity which was a real slap in the face to her. Also left her with the first child having contact and maintenance , christmas presents etc from her Dad, and the 2nd child having no contact .

Took years for her to rebuild her life, and she never managed to finish that course.

So take care and think carefully about this, you already have a fair bit of responsibility on your shoulders for your age as it is.

Children are for life , partners unfortunately don't seem to be these days.