I'm very close to rehoming our puppy. :(

tango

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

It's not the trainer that's the problem. It's not that the dog is incapable of improving.

I believe it's because neither you or your OH want to believe that whatever you did, it wasn't right for your puppy.

One assessment session does not make a miracle cure. To expect him to suddenly become perfect, when you are both already convinced there is no hope for him and it would be better to get rid, well, you're sabotaging him.




If you do decide to get rid of him, promise that you will never have




another dog as long as you both live. As it's not the dog's fault

they have not learned the acceptable behaviour. And it's not the


dog's fault everyone has lost interest in him and are looking for the
bad rather than the positive - the trainer said it would take work to
teach you how to be good dog owners so he can learn what to do.
The trainer did not say dump him. Don't subject another newer,
sparkly, trendier pup to that.

Harsh , true they may have made mistakes , but they are trying which is more than a lot of people would do . Sometimes a dog and it's owners just do not work. If the OP can't see beyond this then maybe the best thing would be to rehome

MurphytheLabrador

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

If you do decide to get rid of him, promise that you will never have another dog as long as you both live. As it's not the dog's fault they have not learned the acceptable behaviour. And it's not the dog's fault everyone has lost interest in him and are looking for the bad rather than the positive - the trainer said it would take work to teach you how to be good dog owners so he can learn what to do. The trainer did not say dump him. Don't subject another newer, sparkly, trendier pup to that.

This is just ridiculous. A newer, sparkly, trendier puppy? Really?

We got a labrador puppy because everything said what great family pets they were. Before that, we got a retired, rescue greyhound. We have done what we thought is best for our family in the pets we have got, we have 2 youngish children, so we went for dogs that would fit in with this.

We would not just "dump" him. We could obviously contact the breeder, and if we had to find a rescue, we'd keep him here until they found any suitable homes. We would not be dumping him for no reason, no matter what you think, we have tried for over 7 months with Murphy. We have wanted it to work out and wanted him to be a part of the family.

I know people think we have clearly done something wrong, or not done enough, but everything that has been suggested, we have already tried it. I know one training session would not solve all of the problems, but I didn't get a very positive vibe from the trainer when she was speaking about him either. The trainer was fine, it's just that nothing seems to work for him. We are still going to try and do what we can.

This morning though, my youngest daughter (6) was in the kitchen getting a yogurt, he was prancing about and getting worked up, and she was trying to ignore him - but he did his usual, and ended up giving her a sore bite on her leg. How can anyone excuse this - he is not mouthing anymore, definitely not. I am not blaming him for one second, I know he is a dog and this is just him, but if he doesn't work for us as a pet, why should we feel we have to keep him? Is that fair on him?

krlyr

I don't think anyone is saying mouthing is fine - but ultimately it is up to us as owners to teach a puppy what is appropriate - he is just doing what he has learnt gets a reaction. The more he practices this kind of behaviour, the more he will learn that it works.
My suggestion to avoid situations like that - buy a houseline, it's a lightweight lead without a handle (so doesn't catch on anything) and leave it attached to his collar. If he starts to get worked up, go and grab the houseline and lead him out of the room. This is step one - teaching him that this behaviour does not work. Step two is to then teach an alternative behaviour - so your daughter goes in the room, gives him a command to lie down or go to his bed/a mat, gives him some fuss and then gives him a chew, for example (keep a stash within everyone's reach - natural, tough chews like pizzle sticks or pigs ear strips or tripe sticks, something natural to avoid e-numbers and so on in commercial treats). He then learns that attention is on your terms and calm behaviour gets him a reward.
Did you check out the videos on my first post about teaching a puppy not to use its mouth? Dogs do find it hard to generalise so it won't be a complete fix but if you can continue to teach him not to use his mouth in a variety of circumstances, he will eventually apply it to other situations.

You don't have to keep him, but he isn't unfixable and you decided to take on the responsibility of a puppy, so you did sign up for this. It may not be quite how you imagined it but that's the gamble you take with a living, breathing pet as opposed to a stuffed toy. If he was showing true aggression towards your children I would certainly not object to you wishing to rehome him but his behaviour is not that unusual for a 'teenage' puppy of a high energy breed.
Maybe you could put a time limit on it - get everyone to promise they will do everything they can and reassess the situation when he reaches 12 months. Take videos of his behaviour now, start a journal on what you're doing and how he's improving - he may not be cured in 3-4 months time but looking back you may be shocked on how the improvements have crept up on you, enough to persevere.
You say you've tried for 7 months with him - but what have you done? I don't mean it as a dig but if you explain what methods you have tried, people can suggest other options. E.g. you mention him nipping your daughter in the kitchen but not what management strategies have been put in place to try to prevent incidents like this, or how you dealt with it as it happened.
You've only just explored 1-to-1 training, I would say continue with that for at least a month or two. If you have doubts about the trainer, find anything - go through the APDT website linked earlier. If you're still unsure, consider a behaviourist, who tend to deal with tougher problems than most trainers.
Watch the videos I posted, work your way through those - browse the channels I posted for other exercises that may help. You may find that giving him an outlet for his energy in the form of trick training may help take the edge of his behaviour, and it may help the kids bond with him again after his undesirable behaviour.
I think you still have plenty of avenues to exhaust to deal with something that is, yes, very frustrating, but not ultimately a giant behavioural issue in the long run.

thorsoak

MurphytheLabrador wrote: »

This is just ridiculous. A newer, sparkly, trendier puppy? Really?

We got a labrador puppy because everything said what great family pets they were. Before that, we got a retired, rescue greyhound. We have done what we thought is best for our family in the pets we have got, we have 2 youngish children, so we went for dogs that would fit in with this.

We would not just "dump" him. We could obviously contact the breeder, and if we had to find a rescue, we'd keep him here until they found any suitable homes. We would not be dumping him for no reason, no matter what you think, we have tried for over 7 months with Murphy. We have wanted it to work out and wanted him to be a part of the family.

I know people think we have clearly done something wrong, or not done enough, but everything that has been suggested, we have already tried it. I know one training session would not solve all of the problems, but I didn't get a very positive vibe from the trainer when she was speaking about him either. The trainer was fine, it's just that nothing seems to work for him. We are still going to try and do what we can.

This morning though, my youngest daughter (6) was in the kitchen getting a yogurt, he was prancing about and getting worked up, and she was trying to ignore him - but he did his usual, and ended up giving her a sore bite on her leg. How can anyone excuse this - he is not mouthing anymore, definitely not. I am not blaming him for one second, I know he is a dog and this is just him, but if he doesn't work for us as a pet, why should we feel we have to keep him? Is that fair on him?

I do understand and appreciate all that you are going through .....having owned labradors for over 50 years, I know that they are boisterous adolescents .....I have one just now.

However, they do grow into steady easy-going family dogs - provided that the family is prepared to put in the work.

Let me see if I can paint the picture of your kitchen this morning ....your daughter went into the fridge, puppy rushed up "ooh good - fun time - food time!" Your daughter ignored him, turned round, so that she wasn't facing him - and held her yoghurt up in the air - so that he couldn't reach it ...pup thinks "ooh - got to jump for it, got to jump for it" - daughter still tries to ignore him, turning herself around again so that she doesn't face him - he gets more and more exited - nobody talking to him, so that he thinks he can continue in his actions -until your daughter gets bitten

Am I right?

It's a great shame that this pup is being allowed to get away with his behaviour - but you're not the only family that fails with labradors - sadly there are a great number of good, well-bred adolescent lab pups in rescue. Most of them bought by well-meaning families who have expected to own a lovely family dog but who haven't realised how much hard work is needed to get a pup to this stage. It's not just the puppy that needs to be trained - you need to train the family too!

Please speak to the breeder now.

Caroline_a

Let me see if I can paint the picture of your kitchen this morning ....your daughter went into the fridge, puppy rushed up "ooh good - fun time - food time!" Your daughter ignored him, turned round, so that she wasn't facing him - and held her yoghurt up in the air - so that he couldn't reach it ...pup thinks "ooh - got to jump for it, got to jump for it" - daughter still tries to ignore him, turning herself around again so that she doesn't face him - he gets more and more exited - nobody talking to him, so that he thinks he can continue in his actions -until your daughter gets bitten

I have seen this with other people's children so many times, this is just spot on. Children should be taught that when a dog comes up to them they do not put their hands up in the air, as it's an immediate 'come and leap at me' command. And that is what will happen, hence why we get children scared and apprehensive of dogs.

OP, I personally think you have already reached the point of no return. I don't think you or any of your family want the dog by now, and no amount of cajoling from us on here is going to make any difference. See what the breeder has to offer.

xnikkix

At about seven months our pup was a complete nightmare and I did wonder how on earth we would get through it. Six months later she can still be a pest but she has changed enormously in this time. She's much calmer around my niece and we can eat in the same room as her. I would never let either of my dogs be around children who have food. It's just too much of a temptation for the dogs.
Can you separate the dog from the kids when they eat? Maybe a tall stair gate?

I'd really urge you to give it more time. I'm so glad that we gave it time as there are just of many dogs on gumtree and in rescues of a similar age. If you're going to do it though you need to be more positive it really can get better. Dogs are clever and pick up a lot fom body language and if your negativity is as clear as it is on here I bet the dog is more than aware!

zaksmum

The thing is, if for whatever reason you have decided you are unhappy with the dog, it's really just not fair to keep him.

Maybe you should call it a day now and go ahead with rehoming him, possibly to a family where children will not be a concern and the new owner can concentrate on the training he so obviously needs.

gill5blue

Hi,
For the good of the dog please speak to the breeder about them having him back.
You have been advised(which is what you came on here for) many times to go back to training classes, by people who advised well, they care about dogs and people honestly.
You have chosen not to listen to the advice.
So please please contact the breeder and return him.
Cheers

MurphytheLabrador

I appreciate peoples replies. However, I am not ignoring anyones advice. Maybe I have come across as dismissive, but that's not the case - it's the fact that have tried all of this already. Our daughter was definitely not doing anything to make it okay that he bit her. We have told them to go in, get their food, and just walk out. This is all that she did, she walked in and got her food and as she was ignoring him he started to do the usual, spinning in circles and panting, before coming over and biting her leg. I'm sorry if people think I'm not doing enough, but this is not the first time he has given our 6 and 8 year olds sore bites that break the skin. I wouldn't even mind so much if he was younger or if it was to me or my husband, but is it fair to keep letting him bite the kids.

People don't seem to realise I wouldn't be putting an advert on anywhere like gumtree - he would go back to the breeder or if not, a decent rescue, but the breeder would definitely have him back. I'm thinking of him too, like said above he obviously needs more training and maybe a home with children isn't working for him, I don't know.

We have definitely tried very, very hard to work with him though. We've asked the breeder for advice, researched online, the vet for advice, tried the training class.

Dollardog

gill5blue wrote: »

Hi,
For the good of the dog please speak to the breeder about them having him back.
You have been advised(which is what you came on here for) many times to go back to training classes, by people who advised well, they care about dogs and people honestly.
You have chosen not to listen to the advice.
So please please contact the breeder and return him.
Cheers

I think that is a tad unfair, the OP did try a trainer for a one to one session. I don't think necessarily that the trainer sounded up to it to be honest and I would find another.

When I had the dog I rescued, one of the problems he had was that he had never been socialised with dogs, because of what I do, I needed a dog that was sociable. I tried taking him to dog training classes, unfortunately, it didn't work out, they had about five trainers all working with the dogs, I was told to let him off his lead with some of the more steady dogs and experienced handlers. Two of the 'trainers' were so scared of him that while he was loose, they went and shut themselves in a portacabin!!
I then had a one to one session with the head trainer, who went for a walk with us with his 3 GSD's, he said that it was fear aggression with him but that he wouldn't dare to attack his dogs as they had more 'presence' and would teach him that he could be around dogs. That didn't work either because he got a bit braver and decided to go for one of his dogs who then went to bite him, luckily the trainer's dogs were very obedient and responded to the 'leave' command but I dare not try that again as I didn't want him the get a 'thing' about GSDs. I was told the best thing to do would be to have him put down as I would never do anything with him and one day he would attack me - no way was I giving up on him!!
A behaviourist even said I should take him into the woods, let him go and walk away and that was a person who taught classes for dog behaviourists in a large local college!!
I tried a few different classes with different trainers none of whom could do anything with him and eventually sorted him myself, he was never any good around other dogs though, but that was something I learned to live with.

In the OP's situation, if they really feel that they can't do anything with the dog and are not prepared to put more time and effort into it then yes, it would be best if they contacted the breeder. The breeder might even have the dog back and do some training with it, then show them how to handle it when it returned home.
Giving it more to do, something to exerise its mind might help, take away the need for attention all the time, it is a working breed at the end of the day.
I wouldn't give up on it, but I can see the OP's problem with having children in the house.