Well, that didn't go down well!

virgin_moneysaver

Broached the subject of a contribution to the household finances tonight with the eldest - boy, that wasn't well recieved

Background: eldest has returned to the family pile(!) after 3 years at Uni & passing his degree. Has student loan of which repayments won't kick in until he earns £15k as I understand it. He went straight to uni from 6th form so now is working at 3 jobs to earn funds to do a bit of travelling before hopefully starting on a career & maybe co-renting a place with uni pals - his take home pay from the jobs is roughly £750 p.m

When I dropped hints a few weeks ago about 'keep' his comment was ' if I pay you it'll take me longer to save the money to get a place so you'll be stuck with me for longer than I want'

I sort of checked what other people were 'charging' their adult kids, & it seemed to be around £50 a week, I didn't want to appear harsh so suggested £35, he thought I meant 'per month' & nearly choked when I said weekly.

Out joint income is only around £30k, & we're about £130 short now each month as our youngest son has just left for Uni so our Child benefit & Child tax credit has stopped

am I being unreasonable?

Own_My_Own

Stop doing his washing and cooking his meals.

When he complains, tell him when he pays his way, you will start again.

Did not hve this problem with my DS but I have heard it works.

I did once stop doing his washing, as he was not putting it away.

balletshoes

no you're not being unreasonable at all, he's left uni, he's an adult, time for him to realise the world doesn't owe him a living and its time for him to start paying for the roof over his head, the meals on the table, and all the home comforts he gets staying with you.

In your shoes, I'd be saying its £35 per week, payable weekly or monthly, whichever is more suitable for him, but its in advance, and it starts next week (beginning of the month, perfect timing). If he's not happy, he can start looking for an alternative roof over his head, and the home comforts stop until he pays up.

*max*

No, you are not. £35 a week is incredibly generous of you, he should count himself lucky tbh. I'm assuming you provide food as well as his room? He's being a selfish brat. I don't particularly condone taking money from your children when they are not earning much, but £750 a month is plenty for him to save AND contribute that little bit to his household.

daska

Ask him for help with wording an ad - to rent out his room

westy23

Evening.
My 26 yr old son pays £40 per week.
Your son could not live as well as he does at home for £35 a day elsewhere.
He is taking the p¥ss.

Brighton_belle

Agree with the others. I would also stop 'dropping hints'. Clearly communicate that you will be charging £35 from next week and you will no longer be doing his washing (assuming you are, I so hope you aren't already). It's not really up for discussion/teenagerish whining is it? £35 is a very very cheap board and lodging. You are not ripping him off.

He's not a teenager, he's a man of 21 now and you are not flush. If he really wants to get a place of his own, I am sure he can find ways of saving that extra £35 a week from his own out goings not yours!

FatVonD

£5 per day for food AND lodgings, where do I sign?

1940sGal

virgin_moneysaver wrote: »

Broached the subject of a contribution to the household finances tonight with the eldest - boy, that wasn't well recieved

Background: eldest has returned to the family pile(!) after 3 years at Uni & passing his degree. Has student loan of which repayments won't kick in until he earns £15k as I understand it. He went straight to uni from 6th form so now is working at 3 jobs to earn funds to do a bit of travelling before hopefully starting on a career & maybe co-renting a place with uni pals - his take home pay from the jobs is roughly £750 p.m

When I dropped hints a few weeks ago about 'keep' his comment was ' if I pay you it'll take me longer to save the money to get a place so you'll be stuck with me for longer than I want'

I sort of checked what other people were 'charging' their adult kids, & it seemed to be around £50 a week, I didn't want to appear harsh so suggested £35, he thought I meant 'per month' & nearly choked when I said weekly.

Out joint income is only around £30k, & we're about £130 short now each month as our youngest son has just left for Uni so our Child benefit & Child tax credit has stopped

am I being unreasonable?

I'm on JSA and i contribute to the household. At £750 a month he should certainly be doing so. Perhaps he should get his priorities right.

moneypuddle

I'll be your new lodger! He really is getting it easy on £35/week especially if you're also doing everything for him! He needs to cough up!

Fire_Fox

virgin_moneysaver wrote: »

Broached the subject of a contribution to the household finances tonight with the eldest - boy, that wasn't well recieved

Background: eldest has returned to the family pile(!) after 3 years at Uni & passing his degree. Has student loan of which repayments won't kick in until he earns £15k as I understand it. He went straight to uni from 6th form so now is working at 3 jobs to earn funds to do a bit of travelling before hopefully starting on a career & maybe co-renting a place with uni pals - his take home pay from the jobs is roughly £750 p.m

When I dropped hints a few weeks ago about 'keep' his comment was ' if I pay you it'll take me longer to save the money to get a place so you'll be stuck with me for longer than I want'

I sort of checked what other people were 'charging' their adult kids, & it seemed to be around £50 a week, I didn't want to appear harsh so suggested £35, he thought I meant 'per month' & nearly choked when I said weekly.

Out joint income is only around £30k, & we're about £130 short now each month as our youngest son has just left for Uni so our Child benefit & Child tax credit has stopped

am I being unreasonable?

Why are you tiptoeing around or justifying it to anyone? Don't drop hints or suggest or broach the subject, inform him his lodgings are £50 a week (yes £50). You are not stuck with him, you can ask him to leave at any point. This is YOUR house yet at present you are effectively paying him to live in it! If he wants to pay £35 a week he needs to earn his keep with chores.