Help - struggling to get money back!

noodlepoopsie

Please move this if you feel there's a better place for it, wasn't sure of the best place to put it.

Basically, January 2011 one of my best friends was on the verge of having to drop out of uni after struggling to pay.
I offered to pay it knowing she'd pay me back eventually; she explained that it wouldn't be until October at least, when she got a job, and after many 'Are you sure you can lend it?' we agreed.

I had the money sitting in my account, didn't particularly have any plans to use it anytime soon, so paid 3 monthly instalments. (Totalling just under £3500).

She kept asking for more money for this and for that (I too flippantly used the 'If you ever need anything, just ask' line) and after giving her another £100 to get her car fixed, I started saying 'NO' as I started to realise that she was spending a lot, while I was scrimping and really saving hard.

After December 2011, I learn that she's finally got a new job and is working on a cruise ship leaving Jan/Feb 2012 - getting paid a fortune, tax free, all living expenses and food etc paid for.

We agreed that she'd pay me 50% of what she was earning, monthly, from March, which should've all been paid off within the year.
I got back from holiday (newly engaged!) and checked my account, and nothing. Sent her a message asking if there was a problem, why, etc and that I now need the money as we're saving for wedding/house etc.

She says 'I'm sorting it, setting up accounts etc' which I accept. Another week goes by, I send another, to which I pretty much get the same response.
She starts getting a bit angry saying that I'd said there was no hurry - I explain that there wasn't a hurry, but I was supposed to have received several payments by now and had none, and did need the money now.

Feeling like I'm running at a brick wall, I messaged her mum and explained - she was living at home before she left so was incredibly suprised to hear that she pretty much didn't give a hoot!
Explained that she's 'notoriously bad with money' and has her own debt management plan in place and would not be giving me the money on her daughters behalf (well Well Done for raising a daughter with such a good attitude for money!).

STILL waiting.
It's now the end of September. We made a fresh agreement that she'd start paying me from Sept 5th - she's in a new contract now and admitted having spent the entire lot from the last contract (We're talking about £4000 - after lying to me that she'd given it to her Grandad).

So the Sept 5th payment didn't arrive and I'm still asking and asking.

I just don't know what to do now.
Reading this post whilst I'm writing it makes the whole thing seem very playground, but it's over £3000 and that's a third of my salary.
I don't know who to turn to to be honest. I feel incredibly stupid for lending it. I've learnt not to give out a penny to anyone ever again.

Any advice?
Friends have recommended going to a small claims court - does that cost me money? Will it work if she's working on a ship?!

Thanks for reading, I know it's a bit of a headache

xxx

19lottie82

Do you have proof that you gave her the money? And proof that it was a loan and not a gift?

Even if you do, there’s no point in taking her to court if she doesn’t have the cash to pay you back.

Personally I’d say it sounds like a lost cause, especially as she is working on a cruise ship half way round the world!

Take this as a lesson learnt and move on.

noodlepoopsie

Yes, I have all my bank statements which show the transactions, plus the receipt from her uni for the final fee (I was originally paying the money into her account buy she asked for the last payment early so I paid her uni directly to stop her spending it).

As for proof of it being a loan, I have every single Facebook message which clearly states dates and amounts in which she is agreeing to pay back - the whole situation has been communicated through Facebook messages apart from the initial agreement to lend the money as this was done via phone and in person x

DCFC79

OP im with lottie on this, if the OP is on a dmp then she wont have the money to pay you back. Im sorry you find yourself in the situation as you did a nice thing re lending the money to help out a friend. Worst case scenario is can you face up to not getting the money back, write it off and put it down to experience ?

pineapple123

With your so called friend its not a case of cant pay it back more like dont want to pay it back not even a small amount to start with.

Sorry but I also think you may have to write this off and chalk it down to experience, as the saying goes never lend to family or friends unless you can afford for it not to be paid back.

scottishblondie

DCFC79 wrote: »

OP im with lottie on this, if the OP is on a dmp then she wont have the money to pay you back. Im sorry you find yourself in the situation as you did a nice thing re lending the money to help out a friend. Worst case scenario is can you face up to not getting the money back, write it off and put it down to experience ?

I read it that it's not the "friend" that is on a DMP, it's the friend's mother.

geoffky

Find out who she works for, I am 99% sure it will be a agency and go for a attachment of wages via the small claims court..

noodlepoopsie

It's the friend that is on the DMP not the mum, sorry for making that unclear.
She's working for Disney.

Not getting the money back isn't an option for me, like I said, it's a third of my salary so it might not seem a lot to some but to me it is. Really hate myself for this, it's getting me so down.
People who get through life by trampling over others, tut.

terryw

noodlepoopsie wrote: »

It's the friend that is on the DMP not the mum, sorry for making that unclear.
She's working for Disney.

Not getting the money back isn't an option for me, like I said, it's a third of my salary so it might not seem a lot to some but to me it is. Really hate myself for this, it's getting me so down.
People who get through life by trampling over others, tut.

I have to agree with the posters above. Whilst it is theoretically possible to go the County Court route this is unlikely to be fruitful if she is outside the UK and paid by a non-UK company. This route is likely to be a case of putting good money after bad.

In your shoes, I would take a "softly softly" route - keeping in touch, and trying to obtain even a few quid now and again if you are lucky. Obviously keep all the Emails and letters acknowledging the debt so that when she does resurface in the UK, you can then take the legal action ifyou so wish.

Best of luck

dealer_wins

Unfortunately you wont see a penny of this money. Chalk it up to experience and never lend to friends (or family LOL) again, no matter how desperate or pretty they may be.

Tixy

If she is in a DMP then she will be living to a pretty tight budget and is unlikely to be able to pay you anything, even if she wanted to.

Sounds like you have a reasonable case for obtaining a CCJ.

If you did then she'll probably still not pay - and you would then have to take enforcement action. The most likely to be possibly effective would be an attachment of earnings - but it would be a slow process getting the money back.

Or after obtaining a CCJ then she might offer very low payments as part of her DMP.


Getting a CCJ isn't expensive - but don't do it and assume you will definitely get the money back, you might get something but you might not (and it might even push her into deciding to go for bankruptcy).

Personally if I had a friend who'd done this to me I might go for getting a CCJ for the principle of the thing, but would accept there is a good chance I wouldn't be repaid.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/ManagingDebt/Makingacourtclaimformoney/DG_195118