Joint accounts - do you use one?

nearlyrich

We pay a set amount into the joint account for bills and split the shopping bill, works for us, I have almost grown up children, one works and pays board the other is a student and is still costing me a bit but nor much and he is finishing next month.

Eels100

We always planned to get a joint account for bills and pay an equal percentage of our incomes into it monthly, but having recently found out I'm expecting, our financial situation is facing a bit of a wobble anyway.

Once baby arrives and we're on level ground with me working again I'll pay for everything and OH will have to have some sort of allowance - a kept man I guess!

brazilianwax

No kids or joint accounts for hubby and I. Monthly bills are split between our accounts (roughly in line with our salaries) and other major purchases we sort out between us in the same way.

Don't tend to bother tallying food or petrol shopping, and I certainly don't monitor his spending.

We both save a bit, and buy what we like/need without worrying.

MJMum

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Nenen

I grew up watching my mum and dad argue continually about money... who paid for what, mum hiding new purchases and lying about them to dad etc etc etc. I grew up believing everyone behaved like this... with bitterness and a constant attitude of trying to ensure the other partner wasn't 'robbing' you :eek: or that you weren't paying more than your fair share. :eek:

In retrospect (I'm now in my 40s) I can see how the pattern started from when they were first married and that there were reasons why they both developed such bitterness. When they first married they were very hard up and both went out to work. Mum was expected to hand her unopened wage packet to dad and then he paid all the bills etc and gave mum weekly housekeeping. Mum wasn't even allowed to know how much dad earned! According to my mum, she even had to account for every item she purchased and was humiliated to have to ask for extra in the weeks she needed sanitary towels.

My dad then got ill with TB and mum was the only earner for a long time while he convalesced. After she had me (an accident) she had to go back to work and leave me in a nursery when I was 6 weeks old (very unusual for those days) which only made her feel more bitter that she had to do this and despised dad for not 'being man enough' to look after his family (these are all her attitudes by the way and certainly not ones I share).

Eventually, when dad was better and went back to work, mum was able to stay at home. Dad had to take all the responsibility for paying the household bills (mum considered that a 'man's job') and then he gave mum monthly 'housekeeping' ... huge arguements if she asked for more!
When i got a little older, Mum ran a livery yard (looking after other people's horses) and all the money she earned was now completely hers to spend as she liked (either on herself or the family) for 'luxuries' and she never failed to remind us that if it wasn't for her we wouldn't be able to have any new clothes, days out, holidays and even have small treats like chocolate biscuits. She managed to 'forget' that if it wasn't for dad slogging away to pay for all the necessities we wouldn't be alive to enjoy the luxuries 'her' money bought!

I had to witness endless arguements and scenes where they sat working out how my mum owed my dad 'rent' for putting some of her horses on his land but my dad owed my mum money for having a few bales of hay for his goats (he ran a smallholding as well as holding down a full time job). They were both constantly afraid that the other one was getting a 'better deal'. I really hated it and swore that I would NEVER be like that with my husband... we would share everything or I wouldn't want to get married at all. Mum scoffed when I told her that! She insisted all wives lie to their husbands about their purchases as all husbands are tightwads! Dad on the other hand struggled to earn enough to keep her happy (despite holding down a full time job, doing extra freelance and running the smallholding).

Fortunately I met a man who believes that if you love someone you want to share everything with them and give them as much as you can... my husband is so generous I have to nag him NOT to buy me things and I have therefore never wanted to take advantage of his wonderful generosity of spirit. We have only ever had joint accounts... all our money is shared regardless of who is earning the most at any given time. It is such a relief to be free from the awful arguements about money in my past.

Sorry this is so long... it's been good to get this off my chest... never realised how much it all mattered to me until I read the OP! Most important thing of all IMHO, is that each couple develop their own way of dealing with money that avoids any bitterness or tension on either side.

Moonbeam

Pretty much all of our accounts are joint (except for ISA's of course, and a credit card each) - we just added each other to our individual accounts when we met although salaries go into two separate accounts and bills come out of a third. Hubby still has trouble with online banking, because I normally do it all, but I'm slowly training him. Bizarre as he's the one who's better with IT and technology!!!

brummiebabe

Bean_Counter wrote: »

Wife and I have one joint account, which I opened not long after getting married. Everything in and out of one account. We have a large difference in earning potential, and this way we have no arguments over money. Either we can afford something as a family or we can't. We've never had an argument over my money this and your money that.

Works well for us, anyway.

AND US!!!! I couldn't be doing with all this "I'll pay this bill..you pay that.." etc. We both earn..pool it together...spend what we can afford. We have 3 children...can't see that any other way would work...although I know people that do have kids and totally separate accounts. I have 1 friend whose DH doesn't even know what she earns...she even saves loads of money that he doesn't know she has!! He's not a big spender himself......can't see the point of being a 'couple' if everything is kept secret/separate!!

Mark7799

We have an amalgam of options - we each operate our own accounts but they are actually joint accounts. That way, if anything happens to any of us, the other can easily step in and access the account.

Alleycat

We have two joint accounts for bills and groceries, then we have our own accounts which our wages are/were paid into. We transfer the wages straight to the joint bills account then they are dished out at the start of each month. We are both given the same amount of spending money, though if one goes over its not major.

We've done this for absolutely ages. We've been together 7 years and lived together for 6.5. Dd only came along two years ago and we were sharing money before that.

System

In 22 years of marriage we only had a joint account for 2 of those years and did nothing but argue about the finances. We went back to seperate accounts and my husband pays me housekeeping. I get to keep the family allowance and any tax credits which i use to buy what the boys need.