I'm still a problem!

Motoko_2

Hey all,

I can't believe it's 3 years since I posted on here, even then not very much, but reading the posts on DFW really got me going and I feel like I have rehad my light bulb moment!
Really looking forward to being debt free but I am still a problem and need help (hoping this is the right place).
I can't stop spending still - I have no cards, overdraft avadable to me its all the money I have left once bills are paid.
Because of the spending I have no savings and have had to rely on OH to pay for my car repairs on more than one occasion (he can't drive).

I have to spend something tells me to (the voices in my head justyfying everything - yep my voice!)
I have to have stuff anything the complusion is so great, I can't really describe the overwhelming feeling I get, the justification that makes it all ok to part with money I dont really have to.
It's still the only thing that make me cry because I really don't know what to do.

I have made changes that control some things and now spend less on -

I put a £5 limit on sanie vans per week (I was spending £25 per week)

Toiletries - really big weakness - at one point spending £75 per month, only for them to sit there and be given away as I had something new! Now it £20 from Avon every 6 weeks and £10 for superdrug, boots..

2 days away from pay day I have £53 in my account - it won't be on Friday because I will have a nice new shiney purchase I don't need! This happens regularly save some money untill nearly payday and !!!!!! it's gone!

I have a sealed pot which has accoummlated £270.00 over the past year £175 was due to a PPI refund (which also cleared off 2 debts completely :j) I haven't put anything in for a while as my OH yells at me to be more restrained whenever I put something in there - I CAN'T keep in in my savings account it will be spent - he dosen't understand. ( he was incharge of my finances utill he decided to give my personal details to his kids and family - cause he thought everyone should know - as if I don't feel stupid enough for being here in the first place!)


Any way enough rambling if anyone could help or point me in the right direction I would be really greatful.

Happy wednesday to everyone and apologies for the terrible spelling!!!!!

Heffi1

Well you have come back to the right place so well done on trying to tackle it again, have you completed an SOA there is a sticky for newbies at the top of the forum so you can list everything and then people can help with areas to cut down.

Your OH was not very kind telling everybody about your debt, what did he hope to gain from this apart from you becoming more secretive so they don't find out.

It is really important to work out why you feel the need to buy things, that is not helping your situation at all, can you sign up to the NSD (No spend day) challenges and set yourself a target?

What are you buying, how much of these things do you have already, it does sound as if your spending is out of control, but only you can stop it, so stop making excuses for yourself and take control.

Saying " it won't be on Friday because I will have a nice new shiney purchase I don't need! This happens regularly save some money untill nearly payday and !!!!!! it's gone! " is almost as if you are giving yourself permission to spend and then when you have you say oops sorry I couldn't help it.

You can stop spending anytime you want to you know, if you want to get out of this mess you have to take responsibility for it, you are an adult and therefore control your own life.

I wish you good luck on getting debt free it is a hard slog, but definitlely worth it.

Pernicious

Start leaving your cards & money at home.

If you're worried then take a tenner (or cost of the bus/taxi home in case your car breaks down) for emergencies only. Remember if you spend it & you get stuck it's no ones fault but your own...

You could also try the demotivator tool on this website & start a spending diary to really shock yourself out of it.

Good luck!

Pernicious

Oh & start making your lunch from home & bring that in so you have no need to buy lunch - sorry I don't mean to judge but £25 a week is obscene! Well done for cutting down.

£5 a week may not sound like much but add it up over the course of the year & that's a hefty saving to be made right there. If it's too much to begin with you could always treat yourself to one every Friday & bring in lunch Mon-Thur. If you could cut down before you can do it again

Motoko_2

I do have a partner but our finances are completely seperate so have put in everyting I pay towards bills and rent


Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 1466
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1466
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 312.5
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 69.5
Electricity............................. 10
Gas..................................... 28
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 15.36
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 36 In this for 2 years as I really needed that iphone upgrade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (no I didn't I was being ohhh must have it!!)
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 9 wifi modem for xbox live (his) I use to connect to internet via phone sometimes)
Groceries etc. ......................... 130 OH says we need £260 per month for food and lunches. OH is incharge of this budget
Clothing................................ 28 Charity shops and Ebay
Petrol/diesel........................... 75
Road tax................................ 10.83
Car Insurance........................... 36.25 High because I had an accident earlier this year and insurance went up by £10 per month
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 10
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 10
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
Budget card............................. 20 September was the first month hopefully saving for car tax!
Toiletries.............................. 98 Facial £48 of this. My tolietries budget is obviously pants!!
Fitness................................. 80
Pension................................. 50
Churchwood.............................. 300 This is my debts I am paying a debt managment company to deal with them, have done for 3 years. Looking on this site the £53 in fees could be going towards them debts!
Total monthly expenses.................. 1350.56

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 300
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 300

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Total unsecured debts..........0.........0.........-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,466
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,350.56
Available for debt repayments........... 115.44
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
Amount left after debt repayments....... 115.44
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 300
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -0
Net Assets.............................. 300

Have added up all the other little bits I have spent over the month and it comes to £134!

Have added a few notes to make things clearer. Thanks Heffi1 for taking the time out to read my post.

''What are you buying, how much of these things do you have already, it does sound as if your spending is out of control, but only you can stop it, so stop making excuses for yourself and take control.

Saying " it won't be on Friday because I will have a nice new shiney purchase I don't need! This happens regularly save some money untill nearly payday and !!!!!! it's gone! " is almost as if you are giving yourself permission to spend and then when you have you say oops sorry I couldn't help it.

You can stop spending anytime you want to you know, if you want to get out of this mess you have to take responsibility for it, you are an adult and therefore control your own life.''

That hits the nail on the head perfectly. Might just print that out and put it in my diary for motavation

I actually kept a spending diary for September and have used those figures for the above SOA.
I tried the no spend day thing last time and I was useless - new challenge coming on I think

Motoko_2

Right, eveyone dissapeared out the office for 5 mins I took this chance to call one of my creditors to see if they would take payments from me rather than Churchwood and they will. If the other one takes tghis as well thats an extra £53 straight away to throw at them. There is also no reason why I can not pay an extra £50 staraight off per month to one of them.

Pernicious - £17.59 on the sanie vans in September so far. I do only carry a £5 usually in my purse so I cant spend any more. I am trying not to use my card and only use cash, meaning I have to go out my way to visit the hole in the wall! Only started this part way through September -hoping it carrys on. Thank you for your time

Motoko_2

Both creditors have agreed to me paying them directly and I told them it would be standing order or churchwood. If I do this from the 1st of November it will take 6 months off my debts as I would have an extra £105 to put on them £55 from the churchwood fees and £50 from me.

OH told me I would be bloody stupid to do this as the debt collection companies will screw me over at the first oppotunity and I should carry on paying Churchwood (he knows best about everything apparantly!). I'm so tempted to do it and not tell him the thought of being debt free 6 months earlier is so enticing!

I have learnt (albeit taken a long time) debt collecters/banks/credit card companies are human as am I.

Heffi1 - your quote will be in my diary by the end of today - It's what I needed constructive critisium slightly growled at me - never had that before from anyone, thank you. You have also got me thinking about ways to stop myself spending, I don't want to pay off all the debts to find i'm blowing the spare £350 a month I will have!

Heffi1

Hi Motoko, I am glad it has helped, I didn't mean for it to come across as harsh as it sounds, but if it helps then that is a good thing.

Debt collection agencies are usually quite good, as long as you keep to the promise of paying when you say you will, they often freeze interest so that all of your payment is reducing the debt.

If you are struggling then I would suggest one of the free debt management companies who can talk to the creditors on your behalf, every penny of what you send them gets paid to your debts, they do not charge a fee, and are very good at helping you make sense of the finances and budgeting which can be difficult if you are not used to it.

Your OH does not know what he is talking about, read a few diaries on here and see other people's experiences good and bad and then make a decision, at the end of the day it is your debt and how you pay it back is your decision.

Good luck I shall be following you and if I can offer any advice then give me a shout

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi, it sound like you are making some positive steps so well done! Do you keep proper records of your bank account/credit cards etc? For me that really helps to keep me on the right path. Seeing it in black and white makes it more real and if I know exactly how much I have spent on clothes/toiletries in a year it really does stop me buying more.

I make myself update my spreadsheets every day and make sure I keep year to date totals then I can see at a glance where my money is going.

Good luck with it, I think many of us fall off the debt free wagon at some point but its the long term goal you have got to keep thinking about.

Motoko_2

I have spent my lunch hour playing with figures and spreadsheets (droooooooooooooool!!). At the moment my plan of action is to phone my creditors and go over the terms (mainly mine!) then take next week to think about it as I wouldn't start untill the 1st of November paying directly to them (to late to cancel the dd to churchwood).

I have joined the NSD challenge for October and Pay your debts 1% at a time - which looks like fun:D

Yorkshirelass - I started a notebook in September (no computer at home for me, never needed one) and I am writing down each month all bills that need paying and other expenses, not to mention my spending diary, which made me think bloody hell:eek: when I read what I had actually been buying! (unneeded crap mainly!) Black and white really can slap you in the face!!

September has been a good month, not so much as a LBM more of a big hallegeon lamp hitting me on the head!!!

lauroar

Hi OP! Well done for coming as far as you have up til now! One think I thought of is that if you are happy with the amount you're paying to your creditors and you really do have around £50 pm a few days before pay day, and you're worried you don't have any savings, why not put £50 into a savings account ON payday? Then come the end of the month it wont be there in your current account to tempt you to spend! I have a savings account that I've actually forgotten the log in details to so if I ever wanted to access it I'd need to call them up and get a new password but it does mean that I wont touch the money unless I really need it because I hate speaking to people on the phone lol.

Good luck!