help im struggling!

shamu95

hi guys, last week i was quite positive now its all going wrong!
I am physically incapable of working anymore hours-i am literally a wreck and thought i could cope as only 4 wks till i have 2 wks off from main job and i had at least been breaking even.
got a letter yesterday that my secured loan is going up again and my gym will not cancel my membership and i have more bank charges.
i cant do it anymore
have asked my partner again for help and he just told me yet again my mess now deal with it. i can't. if i go down he goes down but as he pointed out i wouldnt do that to my kids but i dont know wot to do nymore. its 1 step forward and 7 steps backwards.
suggestions please?

Storm

Hi Shamu,

Right, you're obviously completely stressed out and panicking at the moment, so what I'd suggest is writing a list of all the different things you've got to get sorted.

The gym - they can't refuse to cancel your membership surely? Check the agreement you signed to have a look (and if all else fails tell them you're pregnant - most gyms allow for suspended membership during pregnancy)

Have you posted a SoA elsewhere? Have you tried CCCS or the CAB for free advice?

Sending a big (((((HUG))))) to you

Storm

Oh, and forgot to say, you can re-claim the bank charges - have a look at Martin's article with template letters!

shamu95

posted my soa a while back but i will update it and pop it back up.
the gym is a 3yr contract i can transfer to someone else but have no joy finding anyone and have tried and i can cancel if i move out of the area but they want 2-3 types of evidence forthat. this is gonna sound so strange but i have been to cab 3 times and waited for 2 hours before ive left. feeling time is better spent ebaying or doing avon that sitting in a waiting room

lonely_2

Are you physically or mentally incapable of working at the moment? Have you been to see your GP yet? Can you been signed off work for a while? Why is your partner being so unsympathetic? How much are your debts? Can u tell us more?

- I just need to know more before I feel I can advise you...

shamu95

am in process of claiming some. am waiting a court date but that doesnt include the last 3 months worth.

immoral_angeluk

Have you tried the cccs or payplan?
*massive hugs* you CAN get through this!

mrsspendalot

It must be really hard dealing with this alone if that is your partner's attitude

It may be worth a chat with your GP about stress/depression as suggested, just to give you a bit of time off work for some breathing space.

I know we have gone through the odd phase where everything seems to have gone wrong for us no matter how hard we have tried. It makes it really tough to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Ideally you both need to be on board for things to work out.

AJolly

This Gym membership wouldnt happen to be a LA Fitness one would it?

CLAPTON

assuming you basically have the same SOA you previously posted, you simply have no realistic way of repaying your debts.

If the SOA has changed significantly then perhaps you need to repost it and ignore the rest of my posting.

BUT
The only real question in my mine is whether you can continue to pay the secured loan... I simply can't see you can continue to pay the unsecured debts.

I would suggest that

a. you revise your SOA with a realistic income that you feel you can maintain for several years without killing yourself. (i.e. less than now)

b. similarly review the spending so its realistic for a few years

c. have a look again and see whether you can continue with the secured loan... this is clearly vital and you need to discuss this with the OH as its presumably joint and obviously affects the home.

d. but you need a DMP for the other debts so speak to CCCS or Payplan once you have revised your SOA.

e. how much is the house worth and what is the mortgage and what is the secured loan?

chevalier

Hi there
Really sorry to see that you are in this position.

As a first step you could sign up to https://www.quidco.com. The get yourself a new bank basic bank account from which to pay your direct debits out of and your wages into.

Then you can make a start on reclaiming bank charges/credit card charges. This may well help you with your debt in the medium term when the refunds come in.

Have you checked that your house is in the correct band for council tax. If it is in the incorrect band then you can get a refund for all the years that you have lived at the house. Another potential source of income.

What level are your debts at? If you post us an SOA (statement of affairs, see southernscousers sticky at the top of the forum for how to lay this out), then this will help us to help you.

Is your credit score still good? Via quidco I think you can get a credit report from Experien (just remember to cancel before the end of the 30 day free trial). If you credit score is still ok, then maybe you could move some of your debts onto lower rate credit cards, which will save you interest.

Is all the debt yours? If not then your OH needs to help you pay it back. Also how was it accumulated? If it was for things that the family benefitted from, then surely your OH has a moral duty to help if he got things from debt?

You mentioned that if you go down he goes down, and him saying that you wouldn't do that to the kids, but he obviously doesn't realise that if you start to default on things, that the decision about what happens in your (ie your families) financial future, may be taken out of your hands by your creditors. So him not offering support is counter productive. Even if he doesn't help financially, he could support you by, for example, finding better deals on your insurances and utilities.

We are here to help and support you and I wish you the very best of luck
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